[Grasshopper]

Don’t you lot normally wait until after the Arc to start doling out the superlatives??

[Grasshopper]

……… Bodie is an absolute legend in my book.

Agreed BSB. I particularly loved the ending of each episode, which was always exactly the same:

Scene: George Cowleys office. Cowley, Bodie and Doyle are present.

Cowley: “It’s damn insubordination….that’s what it is”.

Bodie & Doyle looking at feet: “Yes sir”.

Cowley grins: “Here, have a large scotch”.

Cue credits.

Pure televisual magic.

[Grasshopper]

Max….whilst I’m happy for you that you have cleaned-up on this audio-visual tripe, I more concerned about your mortal soul.

One day, your maker will undoubtedly ask the question "Did you watch X factor?", and then what will you do?

Short-term fiduciary gain is one thing……….an eternity surfing the lake of fire is quite another.

[Grasshopper]

Don’t worry about JTS, Lydia……..he sees conspiracies everywhere.

Probably because he bets frequently at Hamilton.

[Grasshopper]

grasshopper, my hero.
how many of these jockey’s on corruption charges are out of n.h. racing ?
on which course to bulldoze first i would go wolverhampton, southwell, and great lieghs (straight after the dozers move out)

The tracks you suggest as targets are surely only worthy of tertiary strikes, strawbear. We absolutely have to start with the biggies.

Personally, I am steering well clear of the “Flat is bent – Jumps is clean” argument. Racing is what it is, and legerdemain exists under both codes.

Welcome to the forum, Lydia……..if thats your real name.

[Grasshopper]

The X factor is the countries number one show .. I’m thinking of going on it myself.

That episode I’d be prepared to watch……………..

[Grasshopper]

By watching this nonsense, you are putting money in the pockets of all three of those no-talent-shilling wankers.

You should be fecking ashamed of yourselves.

[Grasshopper]

Jump racing festivals don’t do it for me. Or for anyone else much outside our corner of Western Europe.

Here we have a manifestation of the hopelessly idiotic "If it isn’t ubiquitous, then it must be garbage" theory.

Doubtless, Zorro, you therefore consider McDonalds the height of culinary achievement?

Either that, or you really like your jolly’s, and will happily bump any old foreign Flat sh*ite, in order to score those first class tickets to the Far East.

Say it ain’t so.

[Grasshopper]

Non-runner……..what a gyp.

[Grasshopper]

Beaten pointless.

I’m good, eh?

[Grasshopper]

Like ‘Richard Hoiles’ and ‘Barry Dennis’ you mean, Mikky?

[Grasshopper]

Saif Sareea off a mark in the 130’s. Lay lay lay.

You wouldn’t be looking to clobber someone on the X’s, would you dj?

[Grasshopper]

[Suggest we look at Grasshoppers accounts first. Possibly qualifies on both counts

[Grasshopper]

Ah……the annual "racing in crisis" bit.

It always bubbles-up at this stage of the Flat season, due to the universally garbage nature of the ‘product’ that is served-up at this time of year.

If you really want to end the ‘crisis’, you must first acknowledge that the issue is predominately with Flat racing. There are too many horses in training, too many pointless meetings, and too many tracks dependent on means other than racing to make ends meet.

Given the current housing shortage, and the fact that racecourses own vast tracts of land, it seems we have an opportunity to kill two birds with one stone.

Personally, I think we should start with Newmarket and Goodwood.

[Grasshopper]

You sure you’re not a yuppie Nick! Langoustine with chilli and lemon on a bed of rocket!!! And on a Thursday night an all. Isn’t that mince and tatties night in your hoose?

Thursday night is langoustine night, Corm. Every other night is mince n’ tatties night.

Re the deep-fried Mars Bar, thank Jebus they are strictly a west-of-Scotland ‘delicacy’ – I feel quite ill after seeing that picture.

[Grasshopper]

Tsk-tsk, insomniac – that’s an urban myth. I’ve never even seen a deep-fried Mars Bar.

We had deep-fried Angel Delight for dessert, if you must know.

Suitably inspired by Zoz’s thread, I made the lovely Mrs Grass the following for dinner this evening. Cooking and preparation time approximately 5 minutes:

Salad:
Bed of rocket
Cherry toms
Sliced spring onion
Sliced avocado

Main nosebag:
Three garlic cloves, pan fried in chilli oil
Add chilli flakes
Add a liberal dollop of King Prawns
Lemon juice

Drain prawns and lob onto salad
Lob the juice from the pan on top of the lot
Season to taste

Again, it was fecking marvellous, even if I say so myself.

[Grasshopper]

I made a most delicious scran for the lovely Mrs Grass, only the other week.

Chicken breast, stuffed with sun-blushed toms and goats cheese, wrapped in proscuitto. Served with salad, and parmentier potatoes a la Grass (boiled, diced and shallow-fried in chilli-oil).

All sloshed down with a bottle or two of chilled plonk blonk. Fecking marvellous.

[Author]

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