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Royal Ascot Dream team…
Commentator…Thommo…."er….and there’s 27 in line approaching the last furlong" (useful for the Wokingham).
Fashion expert…Bet Large (a.k.a. Mike Suffield)…knows a thing or two about hats
Draw analyst…Chompy Draw Boy…"**** Royal Ascot there’s a 5f 0-70 at Ripon tonight with a high bias"
Totty Spotter…Dave Nevison…one of the best
I hear a rumour that Paul Nicholls, writing in this Saturday’s Racing Post column, will suggest said child tells Thommo to **** off – as the parent, who paid for the ride after all, has the right to hear his comments first. :biggrin:
Why p**s
around for 2% when you can buy the Brimardon System (see page 6 of today’s Racing Post – "we are still here after 22 years" (will the wag in the back row who said "so is AIDS" please pipe down)). Alternatively, there’s the Melchior System (page 31 of today’s RP) – "81% strike-rate". 2% – you losers! :biggrin:If you’re thinking of writing to the RP Editor in support of Mr Smith I’d also suggest a payrise for freelance Spotlight writers. The man in question has reportedly been sighted at the Croatian carwash in Kettering (Paul….you missed a bit – I know it’s only £2.80 but what about professional pride?). :)
I have a confession to make – CorTow Star’s mistake was down to me and my sonic binoculars – still need some work before Cheltenham!
I’m in no way suggesting Nick Williams is a poor trainer. I have two horses with the genius of South Molton and he managed to improve Dom D’Orgeval from a mark of 81 to 156 in two years after paying around £8,000 for him (I think). I just reckon that 33-1 is too big. If he wins on his debut for Pipe he could start at 12-1 or less on the day.
Perhaps he’ll introduce separate handicap marks for left-handed and right-handed tracks. If they can have them for AW/turf then why not? How often have you heard the phrase "he’s a 10lb better horse on a right-handed track"? Then perhaps we could have separate marks for fast ground/soft ground, big fields/small fields, good jockeys/Andrew Thornton etc etc.
Bold Fire needs to go right-handed. Clockwise record in UK reads: 111 (3-3) and looks the likeliest winner to me.
Dom D’Oregval has left Nick Williams for David Pipe (sold for over £200,000) – not sure if David Johnson is the buyer but it’s certainly possible. I’ve lumped on at 40-1 and 33-1 for the World Hurdle. The downside is that they may want to send him chasing so he could end up in the Sun Alliance but at that price I’m prepared to take the chance.
Horse X (NAP), deliberately steered up the arse of his rivals of late, looks a good thing to land the Xmas money for his crooked stable. Anything over evens should be snapped up.
The words Top Cees, court and Derek Thompson spring to mind.
I like the one of that female tennis player scratching her arse. I think you can still buy it from Woolworths.
AW – Kempton<br>Jumps – Kempton – preferbly before the King George as I’ve laid Kauto Star at the wrong price.<br>Flat (turf) – Bath – pointless s**t
holeWell done Alan. Can’t believe that muppet in the Racing Post put him in at 5-1, then you came on TV and set he’s a 6-1 or 7-1 shot! Was that when you mopped up all the 3-1 and bigger on the machine? :biggrin:
Did they have milkshakes in Arkle’s day? If so, what were drug testing procedures like? ;)
