Zome

[Zoz]

Dear Aunty Zome,

I’ve just realised something shocking. I need a complete personality transplant. By day I dream of Frankie Dettori and his mighty fine arse, and would love to be Sheikh Mohammed’s right hand lass at Godolphin, albeit I’d draw the line at joining the harem. By night I throw myself around like a chicken having a fit on acid to an unimaginable noise that is the loosest possible definition of ‘music’ in night clubs between w**k
y townie cocktails called Toffeechinos.

Is there any hope for me?

Yours in terrible fear

Meshaheer

:cool:

[gamble]

:(

(Edited by gamble at 6:01 pm on Mar. 24, 2005)

[gamble]

<br>  

:(

(Edited by gamble at 6:02 pm on Mar. 24, 2005)

[gamble]

;)

<br>          <br>

(Edited by gamble at 6:05 pm on Mar. 24, 2005)

[zome]

Quote: from gamble on 8:13 pm on Mar. 23, 2005

One thing led to another and next I found myself inside Zome – possibly needing help.

I beg your pardon!?

<br>Dear all,<br>You problems have driven me insane.  I think Jerry Springer is the show for you all.<br>Zome.

[zome]

On request, i have been informed that i took a easy dodge out of my role as forum agony aunt… so here it goes…

Dear Grasshopper/Kotkijet,<br>This is an argueable topic.  Is it normal indeed?  Well, yes, i believe so.  But now you’ve got catching crabs to worry about.<br>Zome.

Dear Ian/Grasshopper.<br>Dope smoking and gambling – the perfect combination.  Don’t be fooled in to thinking wacky backy will effect your bets in a bad way.  It’ll probably help any members of this forum. :cool: <br>Zome.

Dear Mesh/Ian<br>Whats the harm in a little self confidence?  Watch out for barry dennis though – he might put you to shame after my previous advice to him. :biggrin: <br>Zome.

Dear Zoz on behalf of Mesh.<br>No hope i’m afraid.  Frankie Dettori was so very 90s.  Toffeechinos!?  I wouldn’t have thought so.  Get some lager down you and get yourself you a gig :biggrin: <br>Zome.

<br>

[gamble]

       :(

(Edited by gamble at 6:09 pm on Mar. 24, 2005)

[zome]

gamble, i do worry about thee.

[gamble]

and rightly dear<br> and rightly ;)

<br>

[Meshaheer]

Dear Zome,

I also have a problem. It could be a major hormone imbalance, but I’m not sure. I can’t stop thinking about this REALLY hot mechanic down the road. Now most people normally associate mechanics with dirt and scruffiness – and while I can’t wait till the day I give him a scrub down after work, he is just something ELSE. Not only do I fantasise about him, but I have the insatiable desire to have a rampant orgy with not only him but the equally stunning Ross Geraghty, maybe with his brother Baz, Ruby Walsh, possibly the pizza guy as well. On top of these morally indecent thoughts which drive me to incessant white wine consumption, I spend rather a lot of time taking pictures of almost everything and anything, whilst overindulging on pumpkin seed flapjack.

Am I doomed to this life of self indulgence and sloth? Please convince me otherwise,

Yours helplessly,

Zoz<br>:cool:

[gamble]

Whilst Auntie is away I have deleted my posts.<br> It is a first for me.<br> There was no malice intended but possibly the<br> ratchet was out of place and a high fever can push<br> the pen in strange directions.

A happy Easter to all

[gamble]

I thought this was an agony column Hopper<br> Self-doubt and anxiety rule in here

 I appear to be the only person acting normally.<br>If I write self publicising trash – egged on by a spirit         lowering illness – that scorns Auntie into almost shutting up shop – allow me at least the honour of plunging the dagger into my soft underbelly.

 Sorry Zoz there’s a man in here with flase tattoes on who cannot find the exit.<br> <br>   As for being as soft as s**t
e – Shwarzenegger could never play Hamlet !          

[gamble]

Thanks for your approval Apollo :(

[dave jay]

Gamble, post deleting .. ?? .. walking like a ghost.

[gamble]

Before any cock might further crow<br>allow me to appease Zeus above and <br>any other clamouring gods<br>that wait tongue barbed and spear drawn

The bumble-bee headed creature<br> that walked in shadows across my land<br> head in hot hands,<br> with temple toasted <br> afire and dripping irreverence<br> above a chest half-filled<br> with virulent phlegm<br> penned in by a double three button germ vest<br> might well have been<br> Graham Greene<br> but I know him not<br> or his spleen.

 The simple thin cutter fellow<br>  long chinned and pale <br>  who followed him<br>  a head taller with bible to boot<br>  a graffitti hater possibly<br>  from Dickensian times <br>  may well have been Quilp<br>  I am at a loss also<br>  as to his identity<br>  and know neither his ilk<br>  

[Irish Stamp]

Dear Zome.<br>               I have many problems but most are rather trivial including this one. <br>                 Should i wear my hair down or tied back for golf tommorow?

Thank You In Advance

Martin

[zome]

LETS BRING THIS BACK.  :cool:

[Author]

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