Chezza’s Handy Hints On Surviving The Cost Of Living Crisis This Winter

[IanDavies]

1. Gas – You don’t actually need to heat your home. I’m sure we’ve all noticed, when we all go outside, that “outside” is unheated, so we wrap up warm. Wrap up warm indoors too.

2. Electricity – Charge your phone off your car battery during the day, take a 100% charged phone into your home with you, you don’t need to watch television, just go on your phone all evening, and you don’t need a functioning fridge/freezer if you haven’t actually got any food to put in it, and pack your washing machine drum like it’s the black hole of Calcutta for that once-a-month wash cycle. Keep virtually all lights off.

3. Water – We all know having a bath is wasteful, well showering is little better. Dampened face cloths, soap and plenty of scrubbing will do the job to socially-acceptable levels of personal hygiene.

4. Miscellaneous – I never met a racing fan yet who couldn’t stand to lose a bit of weight. Stop eating, then you don’t need to use energy to cook, there’s less washing up, you don’t flush the loo as often, as there’s less passing through you, and go for brisk walks to burn calories and warm up and your wrapped-up insulated torso will be warm for hours once you get in.

Summary: It’s only really cold a couple of months a year nowadays, anyway, you’ve only got to do this the next couple of winters and before you know it, it will be December 2024, general election, a Labour-led coalition government will be offering a barely-perceptible greater amount of subsistence help at the bottom end and we can all look forward to 2025.

Supplementary “Handy Hints” welcomed – so long as they’re not better than mine….

I am "The Horse Racing Punter" on Facebook
https://mobile.twitter.com/Ian_Davies_
https://www.facebook.com/ThePointtoPointNHandFlatracingpunter/
It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"

[Gladiateur]

Sex, and plenty of it. Keeps two (or more!) people warm and it’s free.

And if you’re single, don’t watch porn. Save electricity and use your imagination instead.

[IanDavies]

Two frankly-outstanding suggestions from Gladders.

Not that I’d expect anything less.

I am "The Horse Racing Punter" on Facebook
https://mobile.twitter.com/Ian_Davies_
https://www.facebook.com/ThePointtoPointNHandFlatracingpunter/
It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"

[Ghost of Rob V]

I charge my phone/tablet and other useful gadgets at work. Use their electric!

[Nathan Hughes]

Buy a cow
Free milk and saves on having to cut the grass

Gaelic Warrior Gold Cup Winner 2026

[IanDavies]

Sell a cow – gets some cash in and saves on the cost of having a cow in training.

I am "The Horse Racing Punter" on Facebook
https://mobile.twitter.com/Ian_Davies_
https://www.facebook.com/ThePointtoPointNHandFlatracingpunter/
It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"

[Nathan Hughes]

True Ian but Milk it dry first and make sure she has trimmed the grass before doing so

Gaelic Warrior Gold Cup Winner 2026

[IanDavies]

Genius – love it.

I am "The Horse Racing Punter" on Facebook
https://mobile.twitter.com/Ian_Davies_
https://www.facebook.com/ThePointtoPointNHandFlatracingpunter/
It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"

[Cork All Star]

Is this TRF’s equivalent of “Top Tips” in “Viz”?

[IanDavies]

If only it was that good.

We can but try.

I am "The Horse Racing Punter" on Facebook
https://mobile.twitter.com/Ian_Davies_
https://www.facebook.com/ThePointtoPointNHandFlatracingpunter/
It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"

[Cork All Star]

A selection of the best:

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/viz-is-30-our-50-all-time-best-427354.amp

[gamble]

I think she’s got it
By George – she’s got it !

[Ben_Bernanke]

gamble more – whenever I’m stressed the last thing I want to do is eat – this way you get to have more fun and won’t have to worry about being hungry through the cold months either

[IanDavies]

And you’re circulating money round the economy.

I am "The Horse Racing Punter" on Facebook
https://mobile.twitter.com/Ian_Davies_
https://www.facebook.com/ThePointtoPointNHandFlatracingpunter/
It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"

[gamble]

This thread highlights the way forward. A society of monks living off the thin of the land.

[Richard88]

That’s all very well Glad but what am I supposed to do with the other 23 hours, 58 minutes and 27 seconds of my day?

[Red Rum 77]

Ben, don’t you mean more Gamble.

He’s already appeared twice on this thread.

You've got to accentuate the positive.
Eliminate the negative.
Latch on to the affirmative.
Don't mess with mister in between.

[Author]

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