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I only reserve kissing for my closest friends, usually close male friends who like to do the whole "mwah mwah I’m such a gentleman" thing.
Hugs are far easier for me, although once again, only good friends really. It just feels a bit presumptious and a bit odd if I hug someone I don’t really know.
So usually I stick to the safe and secure handshake. And I hate limp handshakes, there’s nothing worse.
I have no problem with limp handshakes and I can think of several things that are worse, unless the limpness indicates reluctance.
Fake kissing makes me chuckle though
I’m definitely against that kissing each cheek lark, it’s seems to last a lifetime and is so embarrassing, especially as it’s not tradition in this country.
To be honest, I hardly kiss anyone on greeting them or saying goodbye. With the men it’s just a simple "alright mate, how you doing, nice to see you again", and with the women it’s usually a quick cuddle to say hello or goodbye.
Even with the people I love, a cuddle is sometimes more important than a kiss. I just love grabbing my 6 year old daughter and giving her a massive cuddle, and likewise with my girlfriend. A cuddle between myself and my girlfriend means a lot, it is a show of strength if you like – it’s basically a way of saying I love you, i’m here for you, you’re the best etc without saying a single word.
Mike
hopper that can only be you!.
I’m following you about here today Mikky but don’t let that bother you…lol….I think you’ve got it about right here by the way.
See, the other thing that bothers me a little about this is that there’s a fine line between a kiss and a hug, and an embrace and it can get a little embarrassing if someone oversteps the mark.
For instance, one of my husband’s friends who often comes around, will greet me with a kiss on the cheek and he puts his arms around my waist at the same time, and the ‘hold’ is a little longer than it should be, whilst my arms are hanging in mid air {I can hardly put them around his neck], and so really it would be best if he just gave a quick peck and that’s it, but it seems to be a little more and it becomes uncomfortable, and this isn’t wishful thinking on my part either.
He has a family but don’t think he has a great relationship with his wife, and wonder if he’s a little lonely for female company. It’s reasons like this I discourage contact and stay back but some people like to pull you towards them as it’s their natural way, but at times it goes beyond the boundary, so best not let it happen at all really.
Wow you lot are mad
I only shake hands with men, women on the other hand will get a hug and if it lasts longer than a minute then it’s shagtime!
Pity poor, poor Ugly Mare that good-intentioned physical contact upsets her so!
gc
awful isn’t it, and so un-ladylike…but I rest assured that should we ever meet gc, then I am guaranteed one enormous bear hug, right? …..I best prepare
Maybe, maybe!
But as I indicated, if you were showing demonstrable signs in your body language that you didn’t want one, I wouldn’t pursue the matter. I’m a happy, huggy soul, as opposed to one of these ghastly, unreconstituted office boss-type who routintely invades women’s personal space when it’s not welcome. You’ll never catch me slapping someone’s bot-bot as they’re using the photocopier, for example.Enough already. I’m off down the pub to pick up Mrs Column. Oh yes, and have a big, beery snog right there,
gc
Jeremy Grayson. Son of immigrant. Adoptive father of two. Metadata librarian. Freelance point-to-point / horse racing writer, analyst and commentator wonk. Loves music, buses, cats, the BBC Micro, ale. Advocate of CBT, PACE and therapeutic parenting. Aspergers.
Cormack makes mental note – ‘when meet Jeremy, presumably at Kelso at some point, ensure hold at bay and, if that proves no barrier, feign contagious and virulent disease and wheel him toward Grasshopper, Wallace or, even better, Jim’.
PMSL!!
What makes you think Grasshopper is going to be any less predisposed towards giving you a hug, especially if he’s been on the jazz fags that morning?
gc
Jeremy Grayson. Son of immigrant. Adoptive father of two. Metadata librarian. Freelance point-to-point / horse racing writer, analyst and commentator wonk. Loves music, buses, cats, the BBC Micro, ale. Advocate of CBT, PACE and therapeutic parenting. Aspergers.
Great thread this
Ugly Mare, I think your husbands mate needs a slap around the chops – that will soon discourage him from doing what he does
Mike
lol…trouble is Mikky, my husband likes to stand there and watch it unfold….he relishes my blushing I think….
I am one of those rare men who kisses my Father on meeting and leaving him, although it is only something that has started in recent years.
This is going to sound macabre but I think the subconscious reason behind it is the realisation he is elderly and, realistically, I don’t know how much longer I am going to have him around for. So when I see him I am happy that I am seeing him again and when I leave him I want to say goodbye on happy terms because who knows what the future holds?
Now with my Mum and sisters, that’s different, we have always kissed when we meet and leave.
With friends it depends on the individual – I think I can read body language reasonably well, so my female friends who are comfortable with it will get a peck or a hug. With male friends, a couple of my closest friends get a hug, others a handshake the rest just a hello, again it depends on the individual and their personality.
I understand what you’re saying there Paul. We’ve never been a huggy kissy family, even towards parents. My mum was seriously ill a few years ago and is now in remission. I always kiss her now because it made me realise how important it was to make the most of her while we’ve still got her.
I’m a bit iffy where handshakes are concerned. You can tell a lot about people from them. A nice firm grip is good but a limp, sweaty one makes my flesh crawl.
There’s a part in the Catholic Mass where the "Peace be with you" handshake is exchanged and I dread it. You don’t know where those hands have been either
. My daughter hates it so much that she dips her hands in the holy water afterwards just to wash the feeling away!I am pretty uncomfortable with most forms of physical contact.
it’s just the way I am.I am one of those rare men who kisses my Father on meeting and leaving him, although it is only something that has started in recent years.
This is going to sound macabre but I think the subconscious reason behind it is the realisation he is elderly and, realistically, I don’t know how much longer I am going to have him around for. So when I see him I am happy that I am seeing him again and when I leave him I want to say goodbye on happy terms because who knows what the future holds?
You know what, Paul? This is exactly what I do, and for broadly similar reasons – all the more so since his stroke earlier this year.
gc
Jeremy Grayson. Son of immigrant. Adoptive father of two. Metadata librarian. Freelance point-to-point / horse racing writer, analyst and commentator wonk. Loves music, buses, cats, the BBC Micro, ale. Advocate of CBT, PACE and therapeutic parenting. Aspergers.
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I guess UM and some others on this thread are quite happy with the present social distancing
But as I indicated, if you were showing demonstrable signs in your body language that you didn’t want one, I wouldn’t pursue the matter. I’m a happy, huggy soul, as opposed to one of these ghastly, unreconstituted office boss-type who routintely invades women’s personal space when it’s not welcome. You’ll never catch me slapping someone’s bot-bot as they’re using the photocopier, for example.
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