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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7040259.stm
I hate all this kissing and hugging nonsense, it just makes me cringe with embarrassment and I so often get it wrong and it ends up a full smack on the lips…lol…and this between women! it’s awful…the worst for me I think is at a wedding…sometimes I will go mad and kiss everybody, just to get it over with and at other times I’m happy to make myself scarce and disappear [run?] as fast as possible before this obligation, for that’s what it has become, is upon me.
I think the main problem for many is the same-sex scenario and this is the one that bugs me most, I just loathe kissing other women, but it doesn’t seem half as bad if it’s a man as they usually take the lead I find, and some have the knack of doing it so it can make you feel at ease. I like that.
I’m comfortable with a confident touch on the arm though, with either sex, for greeting or for making one’s escape a happy one. I think that’s a friendly gesture and quite enough for most situations and my preferred method of attack.
As for man hugging…forget it…leave it to the gays, they do it best <!– s:lol: –>
<!– s:lol: –> .how do you deal with it?
I’m not a very touchy, feely person and kissing people is something I’m not generally comfortable with
. I think it’s a very British trait, the stiff upper lip and all that.However, when I’m fuelled with alcohol, I’m completely different. I’ll hug and kiss to my heart’s content and I have to say, it makes me feel very loved up
. The reserve completely disappears. Maybe my inner self comes to the fore 
.Lip gloss; I have some lip gloss that’s so sticky it’s a bit like those fly paper things that you hang on the ceiling [have you ever got your hair caught in one?] – in a huggy kissy situation you just point out to everyone that if you kiss them they will be attached to you for the duration.
Pity poor, poor Ugly Mare that good-intentioned physical contact upsets her so!
It’s probably the foreigner in me (fnarr), but I’m the polar opposite, all hugs, kisses and cuddles if the intended recipient gives any indication of being receptive thereto. There’s enough sadness in the world without withholding free hugs, I reckon.
Man-hugs are absolutely tickety-boo with me as well, although Mrs Column-hugs are still the best of all.
gc
Jeremy Grayson. Son of immigrant. Adoptive father of two. Metadata librarian. Freelance point-to-point / horse racing writer, analyst and commentator wonk. Loves music, buses, cats, the BBC Micro, ale. Advocate of CBT, PACE and therapeutic parenting. Aspergers.
I’m firmly pro-hug, it must be said.
But only to my closest nearest-and-dearests. Kissing strangers on the cheek when you hardly know them/just met them/can’t stand to breathe the same air? Sod off.
But get me around my ‘herd’ and it’s a different story. We’re all the same in this respect, very close. It’s hardly a surprise that some poor woman who frequents the pub that my best friend, her boyfriend and I often visit asked in all seriousness whether or not Donna and I are a couple, despite knowing Donna and Nick are.
Nick thinks it’s bloody wonderful of course, and revels in the fact that when we’re out together he appears to be a studly man whore with two perfectly presentable women.
He’s not. But I live in Norfolk. I don’t care what the natives think of me.
I only like to kiss ny nearest and dearest female friends. Don’t see the point of kissing a woman on the cheek if it’s the first time we’ve met. I’ll shake hands thank you. Also, last Saturday I went to a quite formal party where their were some female work friends. Every single one came up to me or vice versa and we kissed on the cheek and said hello. Then on Monday at work nothing…..What’s that about? I want a kiss during the week too. Also, The only man I kiss is my Dad when we say hello or goodbye. I’m English not Italian. Not one other male friend does this with their dads. Always done it since the day I was born. Some people think its strange but I think its nice.
Pity poor, poor Ugly Mare that good-intentioned physical contact upsets her so!
gc
awful isn’t it, and so un-ladylike…but I rest assured that should we ever meet gc, then I am guaranteed one enormous bear hug, right? …..I best prepare
crizzy, envy the fact that you kiss your father – although I’m much more tactile than I used to be I never kissed my parents and I don’t kiss my [now adult] children. I tried to kiss my daughter when she was involved in an awful riding accident [luckily she was ok] and she thought I’d gone mad. I hate social occasions where people you can’t stand go huggy kissy [and you know they can’t stand you]. However, sometimes, when you’re very very sad about something a hug is the only thing that makes you feel better, it transcends words.What I’m trying to say [badly] is that sometimes a hug and a kiss feel right, but when it’s superficial it feels wrong.
The only man I kiss is my Dad when we say hello or goodbye. I’m English not Italian. Not one other male friend does this with their dads. Always done it since the day I was born. Some people think its strange but I think its nice.
that’s awfully sweet crizzy and good for you. I’ve not heard of many that do that either….
and you should have launched yourself at those ladies, how dare they not kiss you again….perhaps they were drunk the first time?
Zoz,
living in Norfolk, I don’t think you’ve anything to worry about….lol..you did make me giggle..Very true Moehat.
If it’s genuinely meant then a good hug and a peck the cheek is a great reminder that you have people in your life who genuinely care about you.
Superficial shows of affection, however, make my skin crawl!
LOL Um
Yes, Norfolk has it’s moments. There’s no denying that.
But the natives are quite nice really. Well.Some of them.
When they’re not shooting people.
Anyway….
What I’m trying to say [badly] is that sometimes a hug and a kiss feel right, but when it’s superficial it feels wrong.
..this I completely agree with as most of the time it appears simply done for the sake of doing it because it’s expected, and further and in all seriousness, I so often seem to pick up a bout of the ‘flu afterwards. Such close contact with no good reason is not a wise option in my experience.
Kissing should be natural. My in-laws do it because not to do it would be taken as an insult. I would hug my brother in law but not my brother, my father-in-law but not my father.
Personally I don’t mind hugging, kissing etc, but I find it contemptible when men make a point of shaking your hand as strongly as they can. These people are essentially psychopaths. A firm handshake, it is believed, is indicative of manliness and power. Why not go one better? Next time I meet someone I’ll throttle them for a couple of minutes or punch them in the stomach. That’ll show how strong I am. By a curious coincidence most of the men I’ve met who go in for this are under five foot five. A little overcompensation, perhaps?
I should make it clear, that I am not denigrating the normal handshake, just those who feel it necessary to try to crush every little bone in your hand as though it were some sort of test. Or perhaps I just have very delicate hands
Yes the women at work…. On Monday I’m just going to pick one (the nice one
)and say "Morning, how are you?" and do what we do at those parties and plant one on each cheek (the face cheeks ) and see what happens… Watch this space…..Cormack makes mental note – ‘when meet Jeremy, presumably at Kelso at some point, ensure hold at bay and, if that proves no barrier, feign contagious and virulent disease and wheel him toward Grasshopper, Wallace or, even better, Jim’.
<!– s:lol: –> .
. I think it’s a very British trait, the stiff upper lip and all that.
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