- This topic has 155 replies, 59 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 8 months ago by
.
- Posts
As you’ve just said Jac, the responses on here show how wide spread this horrible disease is. I
lost my older brother at 52 with bowel cancer many years back and because of problems of that
nature on my father’s side, I’ve had several colonoscopies, not at all pleasant as your hubby
will know. He has my prayers that the results of his test from Monday come back clear. I was
aware of your daughter’s early problems, it was a touching story with her special connection
with Desert Orchid when she was being such a brave girl all those years ago. It must have made
her wedding so special to you. My best wishes also to Crepello who is having to deal with this
awful disease and to Golden Miller, Homer and Steve who all have loved ones going through it too.I agree with you Jac, I doubt Steveh31 probably thought that one through. I’m sure he wouldn’t
have wanted to upset as many people as he has, I didn’t get the impression from his previous posts
that I’ve read that he was an insensitive chap. As for Chapman, he just seems to open his mouth to
change feet.Really lovely post Graham(BigG) and thank you for your kind comments, and so sorry to hear about your brother, 52 is no age at all.
Like you say Graham those colonoscopies are unpleasant especially the prep but when you think of your family it spurs you on and with regular check ups it can be caught early.
Hope and pray that with all the ongoing research a successful cure will soon be found for all types of Cancer
. JacThings turn out best for those who make the best of how things turn out...For some reason I opened this Matt Chapman thread(not a fan of his) but glad I did. Would like to say good luck and love to Jac and her husband/family fingers crossed for the right result X
Some very moving testimonies on this thread, and I tip my hat to all who have shared for having done so.
There is a further, specious underlying narrative to Mr Chapman’s outburst, I think, and it is that which goes along the lines of thinking someone can’t be *that* ill, either any more or at all, if they don’t *look* ill.
Those of us, and statistically there’ll be plenty on here, who grapple with mental health issues on a daily basis will be all too familiar with this particular line of reasoning.
Debilitating or ravaging illnesses manifest themselves in rather more ways than limbs hanging off or the appearance-altering effects of chemo. Whichever appearance they take, however, is absolutely no business of Mr Chapman’s unless the subject expressly makes it his.
gc
Jeremy Grayson. Son of immigrant. Adoptive father of two. Metadata librarian. Freelance point-to-point / horse racing writer, analyst and commentator wonk. Loves music, buses, cats, the BBC Micro, ale. Advocate of CBT, PACE and therapeutic parenting. Aspergers.
Such is the pervasiveness of cancer it would be surprising if anyone here on TRF hadn’t had experience of it, either personally, in a loved one, or in a friend/acquaintance; and is all too aware that the side-effects of the treatments – remarkably effective though they largely are nowadays – are gruelling
So whilst I very much sympathise and empathise with those who’ve submitted the harrowing posts above, why beat yourselves up further by taking offence at an ill-considered throwaway remark from a gobby twat like Chapman?
Laugh it off with a hearty two-fingered salute: which is what I imagine Smullen did
Humour is a good way of alleviating the stress of serious illness both for the sufferer and carer: allowing feelings of anger, outrage and offence to be generated by remarks perceived not to have the gravitas you’d expect only make coping more difficult
Hardly serious in comparison: but laughing and joking about the effect on my bladder of my enlarging prostate and ‘needle-up-the-arse’ biopsy I underwent last year was relaxing, and I’m glad to say family and friends played along
Ditto the dramatic effect an inguinal hernia had on one of my danglers
Humour and stoicism in equal measure
It’s unlikely that anybody doesn’t know someone with cancer. It’s obviously not fun but Chapmans remarks were a throwaway line and in way sought to undermine the effect cancer has on people. He’s an easy target for people as he says what he thinks therefore will upset a few people. Much rather have him than some of the utterly bland atr and racing UK guys. If Mel Brooks can make a film joking about the nazis then anything should be open to being poked at. Too many people open to offence nowadays. Too many snowflake, thin skinned people. IMHO of course.
I’ve had cancer myself, Pheyocromocytoma to be precise. His comments did not offend me in the slightest (although I did not have Chemo). He was just being his usual brash self, and probably trying to put a smile on Pats face. Good intentions I’d say.
But I can see how his comments would offend some, more likely as this thread shows, family members of someone who has cancer. You have to be careful, being a presenter on mainstream TV, making throwaway comments about subjects like that. He’s not though is he?
Go sit in a cancer ward, I’ll bet you now, every single one of them would have laughed at his comments. As Drone says above, laughter is the very best medicine.
Agree Drone a sense of humour absolutely essential we couldnt have got through all of it without it. Actually made me smile how much laughter there was in the chemo sessions I went to with my husband, it was quite an eye opener.
This is a Forum and everyone entitled to their opinions and if you haven’t experienced a loved one being seriously ill it’s hard to imagine what it feels like, can appreciate that from when I was exactly in that situation.
Lots of good racing ahead this weekend and looking forward to Epsom meeting coming up..expect to see Matt Chapman making quite a few appearances on this Thread but hopefully not for making any more thoughtless comments. Jac
Things turn out best for those who make the best of how things turn out...I hope everything works out well for your husband Jac. Don’t listen to Chapman, he’s just a wally who’s always going to say the wrong thing, until he gets fired eventually.
I know how harrowing it can be. It took them a long time to diagnose what was wrong with me, and the symptoms were very severe. They told me I had something else first, which was terminal. I was only 35. I had a young teenage son, and honestly thought for a week or two, that I had a month or so to live. That was a misdiagnosis luckily for me, I had a tumour on my adrenal gland. I was very lucky, mine was on something, that could just be whooped out. 9 years on and I’m totally fine. The two months nigh on that I spent in hospital, literally sent me crazy by the end. I watched the full horror of what cancer does to families, in a cancer ward. As a young man, it had a massive, massive effect on me. Long before I should have left hospital, I signed myself out. I just could not handle it at all. I was never afraid of needles, hospitals, or anything before I was ill. As a plasterer for my younger life right up until I was ill, I was super fit and barely ever even got a cold. Now I have a pathological fear of needles, and even going into a hospital to visit someone, brings me out in a cold sweat… I literally pass out, if someone comes near me with a needle now.
saying that Pat Smullen was looking so well after his chemotherapy that we should all sign up for the treatment.
Isn’t this just Matt’s way of trying to boost Pat Smullen’s spirits?
If spirits can be boosted/maintained it can sometimes help recovery. Of course we (and am sure Chapman too) knows how someone looks does not necessarily mean they’ll come through, but it was meant to be a compliment to Pat rather than an insult to anyone else.
tbh I take more offence with those asking whether X has something wrong with him/her rather than this type of thing. eg There was a recent thread asking whether an irish commentator is going senile. Although (like in this case) am sure the writer meant no offence.
Best wishes for all those going through treatment on (and off) this thread and all those close to them.
Value Is EverythingHe didn’t upset me. I was angry though because I have to suffer this fool on TV every time I watch racing. I also feel sorry for him because he showed himself to be a total t**t.
Incidentally you cannot tell there is much wrong with me, I have all my hair and look quite well. It has happened quite a bit when I have sat in one of those designated seats on public transport, one woman said I couldn’t have cancer because I had hair……
We are going round in circles here Ginge, as Crepello just stated we are fed up with having to put up with him on screen because we want to watch the sport that we love and as a captive audience also to listen to his inane ramblings. His tips are abysmal and he has zero tact.
Like the woman who was so tactless in her comment to Crepello someone once told me off on the train because my daughter had fallen asleep and taken up 2 seats, I explained she had just had a radiotherapy therapy session at Barts, she was only 2 and a half we had to go to London every day for 10 consecutive days. As she woke the little velvet hat she was wearing slipped off to reveal her baldness, the woman was mortified and apologised, but I didn’t feel offended just wished she had had a little more tact.
Nausered .. Thank you for your kind comments. You went through a very harrowing experience and so pleased that it worked out well for you and your family.
Things turn out best for those who make the best of how things turn out...I couldn’t agree more with you Drone, a sense of humour is what gets through many hard times.
In my occupation of 30 years if I hadn’t used humour, and very often black humour, having
dealt with some pretty awful stuff, I would have gone home regularly with my head in a
pretty bleak place. I could also have ended up at the bottom of a bottle, as indeed many of
my colleagues unfortunately did. So I’m very much with you on the need to have a humorous
outlook when dealing with the slings and arrows that life throws.I think the initial comment that Gladiateur posted was fair enough. He thought Chapman was
a bit of a cretin, and I’m certainly not going to argue with that, and although Chapman’s
comment obviously wasn’t meant to offend, I think that nevertheless it was ill advised. I
think the thread would have petered out with a couple of nods of the head but for Steve’s
comment that “the curse of the 21st century people who get offended on someone else behalf”.
As Gladiateur responded, Steve missed the point. The comments made by Gladiateur, Triptych,
Chestnut and Degaussed didn’t take offense on Pat’s behalf, they just found Chapman’s
comments distasteful and insensitive and I think they were entitled to take that view. I also
think the term “snowflake” being thrown at people who have a particular view is a lazy way
of making a point. It seems to have become a bit of a buzz word of late that’s thrown out when
an opposing view isn’t liked. I think that response, rather than simply Chapman’s comments,
were what brought about the many posts.The thread maybe went a bit off topic then, ie Chapman’s comments, but I don’t think anyone was,
as you mentioned, beating themselves up. I think it simply was a progression of the cancer topic
once it had been raised, and a few personal stories followed. Perhaps it may well have been a topic
on it’s own in for different thread, non horse related, but I think it allowed some expression of
personal experiences, without wallowing in negativity.I think there is quite a community spirit here, or at least that’s what I like to think, and personal
stories do give a bit of insight into fellow TRFers. I don’t mind what people’s opinions are, or
whether they think Chapman is the best thing since sliced bread, or just a bit of a prat. I certainly
didn’t find the follow up posts self indulgent, it just showed we all have to deal with the same
s**t in life, but again I have to agree with you that you need to have a sense of humour or you’re up
life’s creek without a paddle
BigG wrote:
I also think the term “snowflake” being thrown at people who have a particular view is a lazy way of making a point. It seems to have become a bit of a buzz word of late that’s thrown out when
an opposing view isn’t likedIt has indeed become an overused and tiresome buzzword but – like other pithy words/phrases that have flooded fleeting zeitgeists – that’s because when originally coined it was an apt descriptor of a definable cohort: those for whom the spectrum of acceptability has condensed to their own set-in-stone unyielding narrow beliefs. No accommodation and mulling of alternative thought/belief/ideas – which is the hallmark of a thinking person – but curt dismissal of it accompanied by those other tiresome buzzwords: outrage and offence
What’s going on in Syria and Yemen is outrageous and offensive: what someone has said/written, however much one disagrees with it isn’t. Counter it with calm, considered discourse not a hissy fit
Free Speech, warts ‘n’ all
Drone – stale hard branflake
Free speech gets my vote every time Drone. I don’t even object to the term “snowflake”,
it can be an apt description when it indeed fits the intended description it was first
tailored for. I just think that it is thrown about too easily, rather than the use of, as
you concisely opinioned “calm, considered discourse”. I’ve been called many a thing in my
time, sometimes with some justification, but thin skinned was not one of them.I made comment initially because I thought Chapman’s comments were at best ill advised and
insensitive, even though I accept they weren’t intended to be, but that was just my opinion,
and I further commented because I didn’t think that on this occasion anyone here warranted
the “snowflake” tag. Like you, I’m not in favour of people throwing “hissy fits” but looking
back at the posts, I’m struggling to find someone fitting that bill, in fact I think replies
were fairly low key and respectful. I find myself in agreement with your take on people too
easily taking up arms at the drop of a hat, and often just for the sake of it, it’s just
that on this occasion those that threw the arrows earlier in the thread, didn’t (in my opinion)
really have a legitimate target to aim at.To make it clear BigG, my ramblings were not aimed specifically at you nor at the content of this thread; just fancied an opportunity to muse on the term ‘snowflake’
Quite enough of that
I think Graham (BigG) made a very fair and balanced summing up of how this Thread developed from the initial post and how the whole discussion has moved along with good contribution from all posters without turning into the usual hot headed debate we have seen develop on other Threads.
Thinking it is possibly now time to draw a line under this particular discussion and the dreadful use of the word snowflake, urban definition below Drone…..
A term for someone that thinks they are unique and special, but really are not. It gained popularity after the movie “Fight Club” from the quote “You are not special. You’re not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else.”Began being used extensively as a putdown for someone, usually on the political left, who is easily offended or felt they needed a “safe space” away from the harsh realities of the world, but now has morphed into a general putdown for anyone that complains about any subject.
I don’t think anyone who posted on this Thread in any way warranted that tag and agree with Big G about the great community spirit within TRF which after reading all the posts here has become closer and all the more important to preserve as a place to come to unwind and indulge in the sport we all love..
JacThings turn out best for those who make the best of how things turn out...
. Jac
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.