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The systems’ banter – notably Ward 7 – was always a good pull and Billion only avoided the indignities of intensive care, by his chameleon like guile, adaptability, and cleverness.
Cliques are inevitable and can offer protection and a freer sense of mirth. The big boys of social media pander to them by making them private and keeping out from the beastie boys and riff raff. The dilutiom of women posting on here is a resultant and inevitable casualty of tne private members club.
Strangely enough I was racking my brains over a name – notably Tete Rouge – a poster of way back when who had escaped my memory – I could remember the little bird avatar ( blue and yellow) but I was in death valley for the carcass of her name – Finally got her caged but it took me three days of infuriating tip of the tongue deeper recesses sifting and searching.
When the Eureka moment came, I immediately put the kettle on, and was filled by a feeling of complete exuberation..something akin to Sir Edmund Hillary after he had picked his way to the top. I don’t eat biscuits but had there been one….
Which biscuit would of been your choice.?
Billion was a fan of the old hobnob if memory serves me right
washed down with horlicks before Matron tucked him up for the night
the trouble I had with hobnobs were they tasted great but would get bits stuck between the teeth, dental floss required…
I drummed up support for billion the year he was half crowned
MrE jumped on the band-waggon and we had a great laff over it allThe Ginger-police didn’t like the ‘campaigns’ I did one the previous year with Kingfisher who was narrowly beaten
I’ve secretly behind closed doors campaigned for vtc for the past 5 years
I may decided to campaign for someone else if Vtc hits double figures, it would have to be an underdogBlackbeard to conquer the World
This biscuit question Nathan has given me so much food for thought and such intense merriment -you just cannot imagine ?
In a strange comical way Chritmas has been extended until I’ve answered it ! You’ve gone bananas setting me this one and cheekily made a complete strawberry fool out of me with that hobnob spanner of yours, and well, the cherry on top is this – I have absolutely no idea at all what sort of biscuit a hobnob is, or what it looks like, or how to go about buying one without embarrassment. Does anybody know ?
What had me in hoots were your breeding ground for hobnob teeth – that apoear so violently thrown together that your upper set could easily do a remake of the dirty dozen and the bottom set well fair enough, two long sittings of the six monkeys with tbe Brady bunch along for good messure and their acting weary sisters -standing in for the Molars and crying for more biscuit tins !
Your assits in the BIG ONE Nathan,is far easier to answer,as you and I have crossed swords in the promoting ring in tbe past. Anything goes really, apart from vote rigging, and the presence of all those strange relatives that turn up in the queue at that time of year.
Going back to the bicuit thene – you can all try this at home and it works better than the BO effect and counting sheep – which is my specialised subject – and it’s worked for me personally – and I’m throwing it in for FREE !
After lights out and you’ve turned in, use your loco and prostrate yourself on a large lemon puff. Make dann sure that the person flying the kite has some training, some previous experience or licence, and at the very least values human life.
You’re best positioned on your buscuit exactly two bodies length from a high cliff. Now this is the boring bit – you have to wait for a sizeable gust of wind. If you haven’t removed your socks, and you should have, do it NOW. Wait for the wind, WAIT FOR IT !!!! Yes its blowing one helluva gale all of a sudden, you should be climbing now -TRY TO RELAX – whoever is holding the rope should feed the slack. Once you see and pass a cloud – sing out these instructional words ;PlEASE
RELEASE ME, LET ME GO, with
making sure not to dusturb nearby fowl, flying or otherwise, and if you’re heard correctly, then you should float up, further up, up, up, and away.The lenon smell gradually fades as the air gets rarified and nibbling is completely forbidden. At a certain point you will fall absolutely asleepSheep are land based animals and the bicuit trick gets you much higher and deeper. The lemon puff is full of air – if you have to get up early you could try a garibaldi.
If you are fast asleep and hear these haunting tones from afar…
“I’m swinging on a star,just swingimg…”
the most likely is ‘er indoors is right next to you, nose skyward, and cramping your jimjams with left over elbow grease, and has probably nicked a better version of your trick – which takes her higher – a helluva lot higher.
Sleeping on different levels can bring advantages !
A search of the internet reveals plenty of different type of lemon puffs
is there a special one that would need using or do they all work for the trick.? Knowing my luck I’d pick up the wrong type.
The hobnob would need to be of the McVities type, you can probably get other versions but I’d be surprised if they beat McVities for taste. Others maybe better for the teeth but in billions case his teeth are not his own so it doesn’t matter what damage is done as he can buy another pair.Blackbeard to conquer the World
Many thanks Nathan for putting the work into running the poll and thanks guys for the congrats ….and great to see Mr Gamble bang in form, I love it
Glad you liked the trick BigG and the tickly telling, and thank you Bob for bringing your polished star back in here, for us mortals to wonder and gaze at and well Nathan…your second biscuitty question is a lot easier than the first and is answered in the packet below.
As for tbe production I wouldn’t have risked the full 12 monkeys in one sitting, as they play around with Flossy too much, and cause havoc with posts – so sensibly sat them down in two sittings. Hitchcock reputedly fell in love with one of girs stars in the Birds but the monkeys were all taken.
Any lemon puff will do Nathan, but it has to be fresh – not too fresh and fit mind, and it has support your frame – that is most important. An adult buscuit appropriately who knows the ropes.
I think biccys engender rather nice feelings of warmth, and with me they connect me with my childhood.
Granny used to keep a hidden tin and she rarely brought them out, but when she did
it was nice. Nice biscuits in fact ( pronounced Niece ) and they are thin, coconut flavoured, Royal favoured good ol Queen Vic the gambler, and they have a patterned edge, also a light dusting of sugar and the word NICE in large letters – but not overdone like the old Esso signs but similar as ; VERY HAPPY EATING.Rarely did I ever see a tin of biscuits in our house – as rare as a fruit even, and I met my first green date, Miss Avocado well after the messy bike shed years. Always had a fascination for bikes
and farmyards. The tins must have been smuggled in by the other granny. And when it was opened I went for those pink oblong wafer biscuits – next custard creams – then the round ones with the jam type centre and last of all the bourbons. Poor old bourbons they must have felt it !!!
I had thought deeply about all these love affairs but had forgotten the one, the special one, that had completely stolen and crumbled my heart into small, do anything for you teenage pieces. I tumbled across her memory the other night, under the covers. well past the sell by. Just could not get enough of Puff and the number of packets I got through sampling her delights – she just had to be the one for the rope trick.
Most hypnotists will tell you to go down deeper and down to get you into that relaxed, impressionable state where you forget their fee.
I would rather go up arms strong style with buzz minus the helmets. It’s all perfect peace, pitch black as treacle tar up there – just the odd directional twinkler and a perfect place to sleep, to slumber, perchance to dream of Puff and her magic ch arms.If you hear someone snoring as you drift with edgy ether and big fat cloud towards her – just give me a nudge !
Puff worked for me that night and her six foot six inch frame worked a dream again for me last night too.
I will finish where I began and go back to that post
. The intention was to lift you all bodily to a higher place and for the non believers – just a small lift – an arch of a brow perhaps. p.s. just had too slam in a shorty
Puff the magic biscuit
lived in a tin
She frolicked with an autumn crisp
and lived a life of sin….Oh Puff..
Wow one of the big guns ! As Tony would say Steeple it’s just GGREEEEEREAT to see you !!!
Au contraire mon ami – you are the bees knees on here and I am the tortoise to
your hair, and although you may well need to don a striped pair of blue bathers for your next tricky title pot – the POOH poster on here claims his honey with a sighting.
Joe – What you know ?
You don’t have to answer that – It’s just that a long long time ago, when I bought the Racing Post in the days you did – it was always outside a tube station from one of those paper kiosks. The guy was an extrovert and after any inside info I might have – and I was half asleep and in the end I stopped buying from him because he always infuriatingly said without fail exactly the same four words.
“What do you know ?”
Once I said ” Not a lot ” and a few times I said
” nothing at all ” and sometimes but rarely I smiled and shook my head – but every day he said it and even more annoying still, he held the paper back until I answered his“What do you know Joe ?”
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