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I suspect this as come up before as a subject, but in the silly season, I thought I’d try it…
Let’s assume each of is going to have a turn at winning the Euromillions lottery and will buy an unraced colt/filly which will be bred in the purple.
A la Coolmore, you want to reserve your name now with Weatherbys in case the horse turns out to be better than Frankel. What name would you choose and why?
I would name him Big fella, in honour of derek “Thommo” thompson, and run him at Yarmouth so the great man can do commentary on the race
Would provide a lifetime of amusement
Not exactly coolmore historic names but
Always first class – something my late father said when we nailed one (and a nod to Jim Kelly, Enter the dragon)
Imo – One for the oldtimer betfair forum lifers
Just to annoy the litigious author of Harry Potter, I would reserve the name Jakey Rolling. Which I believe is also the terminology for robbing winos in Glasgow.
Another would be Brittany’s Piers and who could avoid Drew Peacock for a malarkey? Obviously the last one carries my Blue Diamond colours.
Thanks for the good crack. Time for me to move on. Be lucky.
Sorry Joe, I can’t give that name away in case Coolmore are reading in and steal it.
For my lesser but still quite good horses I’d have
The Window Cleaner – My first job after school and still turn my hand to it for extra betting money
Mucker – My sons nickname
Queen Di – After my late mother, people use to call her Queen Di as when she married my father she waved from the car like the Queen would.
Nathanaldo – This would be one from ToronaldoGaelic Warrior Gold Cup Winner 2026
As a general name I would go with Ice Cream Castles but clearly I would have to run that past Joni Mitchell.
And for a ‘famous’ name it would be Judi Bowker. That wouldn’t mean much to most people but if you are male and grew up watching Black Beauty it might resonate a little more.
I’d start a dynasty of horses named after semi-obscure fictional characters. Anything from David Foster Wallace, Thomas Pynchon or Chris Morris monologues e.g. Ann Kittenplan, Webley Silvernail or DJ Spam Tin.
Always Last
…….and hope it isn’t
The Donkey
Can just hear the commentary “coming to the last and The Donkey jumps into the lead”
I’d purchase two evenly matched horses, always race them together and call them Pitt The Elder and Lord Palmerston.
Five Internet points for the not so obscure reference.
I think I’d do what some owners do and have the same prefix to each horse like the Potts do with “Sizing”
My prefix would be “Peregrine” and I would start off with “Trousers”
All joking aside I have a theory that you should bet on the best named horses in the best races.
You only have to look through a list of derby winners of just some of the best horses in history to see that the majority of them have fantastic names.
Eclipse, Tudor Minstrel, Nijinsky, Dancing brave, Mill reef, Brigadier Gerard, Golden fleece, Dimenuendo, Troy, Urban sea.
Could go on and on. The names trip off the tongue. Henry Cecil always seemed to reserve the best names for his better horses, like Oh so sharp, Slip Anchor, Reference Point, light shift to name just a few.
Presumably these horses show exceptional ability early in their lives so the best names are given to them, you don’t see many derby winners called something like Dave’s car boot sale, do you?
As a counterpoint to thejudge’s post above, hereunder are some 18th & 19th century racehorse names identified by Chris McGrath in his book Mr Darley’s Arabian:
Squirt (grandsire of Eclipse), To Bed To Bed Says Sleepy Head, Put On The Pot Says Greedy Gut, Stiff Dick (owned by William III), Sweeter When Clothed, Jack Come Tickle Me, I Am Little Pity My Condition, Bloody Buttocks, Old Bald Peg.
While I would be spoiled for choice there I must selct a name which, according to Wikipedia, was attached to a horse that ran behind Blucher in the 1814 Derby, namely Sir Tooley Whagg O’Shaughnashane.
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