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Who can come up with the funniest, but most realistic thing that will never occur in British Horse Racing;
For example, we will never see a trainer quote in the RP that goes on the lines off’
“we have campaigned dodgy fellow at the wrong trip in order to get a great handicap mark. Today we have stepped him up in trip and he should win by half a track“. Barney Curley, Trainer.
Or perhaps we will never see Emma Spencer on Channel 4 Racing, interviewing Seb Sanders and saying “Great win Seb, and I wish you all the luck in the world at winning the jockey’s title this year”
Any more guys,
Mike
Is this a question off of Mock The Week?
“Due to the remaining damage to both fixtures and fittings and the racing surface itself following last summer’s floods, this year’s Cheltenham Festival will take place at Cartmel”.
Hell, I’d go…
gc
Jeremy Grayson. Son of immigrant. Adoptive father of two. Metadata librarian. Freelance point-to-point / horse racing writer, analyst and commentator wonk. Loves music, buses, cats, the BBC Micro, ale. Advocate of CBT, PACE and therapeutic parenting. Aspergers.
The wife of a jockey interviewing him about his ride on national television, it happend last week after the ebor.
Will Zoey Bird ever interview Richard Hannon
‘Yes, we tried to rush him back and as a result he has overcompensated and broken down proper in front. This of course, happened about 2 weeks ago as you cant scan and make a decision until the initial inflammation has gone down. The horse now needs a year minimum off the track, and after that if anything else goes he would be for the bullet. Then there would be no extra cash from nominations at all.’
Clive Brittain say: " Actually, this filly isn’t any good at all and has absolutely no chance of winning a seller, let alone a group race. "
Clare Balding to Willie Carson: " Willie, you are the most eloquent man I have ever met and I apoligise for being such a stuck up, patronising cow – and for looking down my nose at you all these years."
Frankie Dettori: " I’m only a very average jockey who tries to shun all publicity."
Gambling Only Pays When You're Winning
Matt Chapman saying "I don’t have an opinion on that"
Or Matt Chapman saying, "The Dazzler is only an average jock"
Or Tommo going through an afternoons commentating without saying "OK" less than 20 times.
Big Mac saying "I was wrong"
Simon Holt sounding interested when commentating on a novice chase at a gaff track.
Is this a question off of Mock The Week?
“Due to the remaining damage to both fixtures and fittings and the racing surface itself following last summer’s floods, this year’s Cheltenham Festival will take place at Cartmel”.
Hell, I’d go…
gc
What about Newmarket???
Or Godolphin win the Grand National, ridden by Tom O’Brien!!
Clerk of the Course Ascot – ‘The ground on the straight course is rock hard and you’d be mad to run anything here today’.
Dave Smith, Judge – ‘Just give me a minute or two to look at the photo’.
Ferdy Murphy, Trainer – ‘That was a poor novice chase he’s just won and I’m not expecting him to go on to better things’.
David Johnson, Owner – ‘I picked him up for two grand at Ascot Sales’.
Lord March, Goodwood MD – ‘We have relaxed our rules and jeans and t-shirts are welcome in the Champagne Bar’.
AP
“Good afternoon. It’s a lovely Spring afternoon here in the middle of the Cotswolds which can only mean one thing. Yes, it’s the 2008 Cheltenham Festival, the greatest sporting event on the planet, and you can catch live and uninterrupted coverage of all 24 races right here on BBC1”.
“We’ve got fifteen minutes before the big race gets underway, so let’s go and have a look at the horses in the paddock.
"Yeah, it wasn’t the best ride you’ve ever seen in your life, was it!" – Patrick Millington.
"No, you’ve been right all along. I should leave my better horses for others to train." – Oliver Carter.
gc
Jeremy Grayson. Son of immigrant. Adoptive father of two. Metadata librarian. Freelance point-to-point / horse racing writer, analyst and commentator wonk. Loves music, buses, cats, the BBC Micro, ale. Advocate of CBT, PACE and therapeutic parenting. Aspergers.
Some great replies folks, keep them coming. This one might be a long shot but I am going for;
Kieran Fallon in the winners enclosure at Lingfield
or Towcester’s restaurant menu advertising their fish as;
"freshly arrived today, just as soon as the rain came"
Mike
or Towcester’s restaurant menu advertising their fish as;
"freshly arrived today, just as soon as the rain came"
Mike
Or locally caught sea fish maybe?
‘He’s not a playboy, he’s not arrogant – he’s a big dog’ O’Brien on George.
‘Sadly he’s as slow as a boat, doesn’t pick up the bridle at home and needs at least 2m’ O’Brien again on any one of his classic generation.
‘He’s not a playboy, he’s not arrogant – he’s a big dog’ O’Brien on George.
‘Sadly he’s as slow as a boat, doesn’t pick up the bridle at home and needs at least 2m’ O’Brien again on any one of his classic generation.
In fact he wouldn’t win a Selling Plate at Downpatrick.
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