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Christophe Sue-Me-Ryan – Belgian jockey with quite a few court appearances
The Elbow – a new feature also seen on French racecourses
Bumper races. Another name for French racing
You've got to accentuate the positive.
Eliminate the negative.
Latch on to the affirmative.
Don't mess with mister in between.Pontefracked – Racecourse that extracts its own gas and oil. The clerk of the course is now considering the possibility of horses jumping over sinkholes to add a new twist to racing.
Matt Chappedhands – Loudmouth presenter who is suffering from dry, over-washed hands due to constant greasing of his hair.
Auguste Rodent – If you go back far enough into this horses pedigree you will see the breeder was a clown and mated a horse with a rat
Gaelic Warrior Gold Cup Winner 2026
Deptford-upon-Avon – a fictitious racecourse which loosely rhymes with Stratford.
Fryony First – a new range of airfryers as a NH jockey launches her first business.
Nick-O De Bournville – a dark chocolate addict who will steal your choccie from under your nose as soon as look at you.
I am "The Horse Racing Punter" on Facebook
https://mobile.twitter.com/Ian_Davies_
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It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"Asscot – Nudist racecourse for spectators, jockeys and trainers. Nicky Henderson yet to declare a runner there
Gaelic Warrior Gold Cup Winner 2026
“The racecourse is beachware…” “no, it’s total nudity,” “it’s beachware on times,” “no, it’s complete nudity,” “ooookkkkk.”
I am "The Horse Racing Punter" on Facebook
https://mobile.twitter.com/Ian_Davies_
https://www.facebook.com/ThePointtoPointNHandFlatracingpunter/
It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"Harlot ‘Shallot’ Hawkins – Fashionista for Ladies Days and part-time hooker. She also suffers from a condition that makes her stink of onions.
Stark Heyes – Fashion guru who thinks less is more.
Champion Girdle – A sleazy contest set in the seedy backstreets of Cheltenham. It is hosted by Harlot Hawkins and Stark Heyes. Participants compete to model girdles that stretches their stamina. Often results in a tight finish. Notable winners include Fanny Power, Gay Briefs, Persian Phwoar and Tight Nurse.
Plightline – An upcoming wonder horse who’s career was cut disgustingly short when his owners came up with the dastardly decision by sending him to the equine porn industry.
Energumean – Mean horse that breaks other horses that finish a race as quick or quicker than him
Gaelic Warrior Gold Cup Winner 2026
The Minellium – The year by which all foals born in Ireland will have the word Minella in their name, currently predicted to be 2025.
Gnubury – First racecourse to host antelope racing.
Warwick D – Worlds smallest racecourse where the jockeys are midgets and the horses are ponies.
Startling Stalls – If a horse refuses to break off, these new stalls emit a 120 db parp sound that ‘startles’ the horse into running.
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