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Ascot Chase 2012

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  • #20981
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    It’s a prep run for the Ryanair! It’s the last (possibly) Grade One before Cheltenham! It’s the Ascot Betfair Ascot Chase (at Ascot, sponsored by Betfair).

    Cappa Bleu: Some people say he’s a ‘National Horse’. Others say he’s ‘lightly raced’. I say – he’s a point-to-pointer, running in a Grade One that’s evidently too short for him.
    Verdict: No.

    Deep Purple: I was there when he won the London National. I was on MdB that day, and the reasons I picked him would have applied to this fella. Well, all of them except the ‘dicked the sh1t out of Denman’ bit. Again, though, Peterborough Chase winner and Charlie Hall winner an’ all that, but he needs further.
    Verdict: If you put all your money on him Saturday afternoon, then Saturday night will be a black night (SEE WHAT I DID THERE?)

    Gauvain: The first serious contender, alphabetically speaking. Won the Peterborough (beating Somersby in the process, if that’s worth anything), having previously won class twos like they were going out of style. You would say he was improving, but his jumping lets him down.
    Verdict: He’ll either win or fall. He’ll probably fall.

    Hell’s Bay: He couldn’t beat Time For Rupert (and Time For Rupert’s crap!).
    Verdict: I repeat ,HE COULDN’T BEAT TIME FOR RUPERT.

    I’msingingtheblues: Bluey’s a solid handicapper, who’ll always be there or thereabouts. This is over level weights.
    Verdict: Could represent value, if most of the other horses decide not to bother. Then each way only.

    Kauto Stone: Puntaz havin a good time tonight/Paul F’n Icholls train him, alright/Brother to The King, breedin’s not unknown/Get on, everybody must get stoned/Everybody must get stoned, everybody must get stoned/Muthafukkaz know/Everybody must get stoned/Everybody must get stoned.
    Verdict: Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes.

    Little Josh: See I’msingingtheblues.
    Verdict: Naaaaaaah.

    Medermit: I think I might be right in saying his win in the Haldon makes him the most successful of last season’s novice chasers. He’s a good horse, and was mainly beaten by the weight at Cheltenham in the December Gold Cup. His time will come…but will it be on Saturday? Heh, if his connections have the sense to run him here, rather than Newbury, maybe
    Verdict: Interesting. Wait until the declarations are out, though!

    Riverside Theatre: Won last year, having come second in the King George. Does well fresh, but there’s fresh…and there’s fresh. Can Hendo do the business? If he does, expect shares in Equizoom* (“The only way I could get round Cheltenham was in a Swanbrook’s bus, until I tried new Equizoom*” – Gold Cup winner Long Run “Shut up, Lennie” – Gold Cup winning trainer Nicky Henderson**) to go up/
    Verdict: <jingle>’If winning the race is a really big ask, Equizoom* makes your horse run fast</jingle>. Regardless, I’m more interested in getting Stoned.

    Tatenen: He’s only eight? Blimey, he’s been around for ever! He beat I’msingingtheblues. He lost to Riverside Theatre. That’s about it.
    Verdict: Yawn

    The Sawyer: Tough. Old. Rugged. Veteran. NOT GOING TO WIN.
    Verdict: Not gonna happen. Sorry.

    FINAL VERDICT: Kauto Stone.

    ALTERNATIVE: Medermit, if – and only if – he’s declared for this.

    OTHER ALTERNATIVE: Buy shares in Equizoom* now.

    Let’s talk about this…


    *Equizoom is a figment of my screwed up imagination, and does not exist.

    **Nicky Henderson is a trainer of the Highest Integrity and would never, EVER, use Equizoom, which doesn’t exist, even if it did. Which it doesn’t. Nor would he ever use anything like it. Nope.


    So don't run, just like the others always do

    • Total Posts 2036

    Nice write up, fancy them the other way round Medermit to beat Kauto Stone though!

    • Total Posts 611

    Medermit’s price has been cut in the Denman, although I do think this will suit him better. Still, since when has that stoppeda horse’s connections? *cough* Captain Chris is a Champion Chase horse, not a Gold Cup one*cough*


    So don't run, just like the others always do

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