Poetry Comp 2008

[cormack15]

To celebrate the launch of an interesting new collection of racing poems by [i:ihah8ohr][b:ihah8ohr]<b class=”font-size-150″>Jim Anderson</b>[/b:ihah8ohr][/i:ihah8ohr] entitled<b class=”font-size-150″><b> ‘Shergar and other Friends'</b></b>, the book’s publishers <b>Sportbooks.ltd.uk</b> have very kindly agreed to offer a free copy of the book as a prize for a Racing Forum poetry competition.

So, I’d like to invite anyone who is interested in writing about racing and in particular has written or is interested in writing poetry with a racing theme to submit a poem, or indeed as many poems as you wish, to me by email.

You have to be happy to have your poem published on the forum but other than that you will retain all copyright, etc.

Those poems suitable will be published on the forum and we’ll ask Sportsbooks to select the winning poem. Who knows, if we have enough entries of a suitable quality we may even be able to publish a Racing Forum book of poems.

I’ve already started on my own first draft so what’s keeping you!

Closing date for entries is Saturday 19th April and your entries should be emailed to <!– e –>cormack15@tiscali.co.uk<!– e –>

If you’re interested in finding out a bit more about Jim Anderson’s new book, or indeed one of the many other sportsbooks they’ve published, this link will take you to Sportsbook’s web site –

http://www.sportsbooks.ltd.uk/book_info/Shergar.html

[cormack15]

Hey come on you poets! Haven’t received any entrants yet.

[lekha85]

I had actually completely forgotten about it – I’ll have a go at it this weekend…

[graysonscolumn]

Whither Gamble?

gc

Jeremy Grayson. Son of immigrant. Adoptive father of two. Metadata librarian. Freelance point-to-point / horse racing writer, analyst and commentator wonk. Loves music, buses, cats, the BBC Micro, ale. Advocate of CBT, PACE and therapeutic parenting. Aspergers.

[cormack15]

That’s the game Lekha. I’m going to have a go too and at least one other person has indicated that they’ll be entering so competition hotting up. Mind you I would agree that Gamble could turn it into a procession.

Will he get to the starting line though?

Saturday 19th April deadline.

[davidbrady]

Here’s my (heartfelt) offering

I backed Monet’s Garden at 20s for the Order of Merit
He’s good 2 and a half miler to give him some credit
But Nicky ran him over too near or too far
And he lost in his other race to Kauto Star
**** it

© davidbrady

[lekha85]

Here’s my (heartfelt) offering

I backed Monet’s Garden at 20s for the Order of Merit
He’s good 2 and a half miler to give him some credit
But Nicky ran him over too near or too far
And he lost in his other race to Kauto Star
[expletive] it

© davidbrady

A work of significant literary beauty…

[aaronizneez]

Had a quick go in my lunch hour about how I got interested in betting on horses

It’s a Saturday morning
And we’re sat at the table
It’s a quarter past eleven

Bamp, what are you doing ?
"I’m picking my horses,
For this afternoons ITV seven"

The horses he’s picked
Have little blue dots
Next to the horses name

I look at my paper
And choose my horse
And blue dot them just the same

When all are chosen
It’s on with the coat
And a trip in the car to Yate

Bamp says goodbye
I wish him good luck and
Nan tells him not to be late

In the afternoon
We sit and wait for
The start of the opening race

They’re under starters orders
Then they’re off and running
Going at a tremendous pace

They cross the line
Its a promising start
Bamp has got the first

He has the next winner
The next race is a photo
Bamp is fearing the worst

Its beaten a head
Bamp says never mind
And rips his slip into two

He rests back in his chair
And slowly nods off
Just as I knew he would do

[davidbrady]

I like it aaron

[aaronizneez]

Another effort for you Corm though not the most cheeriest of themes

A Cautionary Tale

It started just on Saturdays
Just for a bit of fun
A small stakes Super Yankee
Then BANG all five had won

Over a grand to go and collect
From less than a fivers stake
Just think if I trebled my bet
Of the money I could make

And what if I bet each day
The winnings would be greater
I could pack in my boring job
Some time sooner or later

Not had a win for a while
Must be a temporary blip
I’ll phone one of those lines
They’ll give a winning tip

A maximum bet this week
So thats exactly what I did
Bleedin con artists they are
Cost me two hundred quid

I don’t know why I bother
Racing is completely bent
I’ll have to take that loan
To pay back the money spent

I’ll pay it back in no time
I can see the money on the table
The bookies better beware
I’ve got a tip straight from the stable

That jockey he wants shooting
He gave that a terrible ride
I tell you its daylight robbery
He ought to be put inside

Its been all of a year now
Since I had my last horse bet
Had to sell the house you see
To pay off my gambling debt

I’ve lost more than my money
And I’m ashamed of what I’ve done
To think it all just started out
As a little bit of fun

[Zoz]

Here’s my (heartfelt) offering

I backed Monet’s Garden at 20s for the Order of Merit
He’s good 2 and a half miler to give him some credit
But Nicky ran him over too near or too far
And he lost in his other race to Kauto Star
[expletive] it

© davidbrady

PMSL

Brilliant

[cormack15]

Gamble’s just weighed in with a super-sized entry so the heat is on.

Saturday is the closing date for entries remember.

[cormack15]

To celebrate the launch of an interesting new collection of racing poems by [i:1ldu2638][b:1ldu2638]Jim Anderson[/b:1ldu2638][/i:1ldu2638] entitled ‘Shergar and other Friends’, the book’s publishers Sportbooks.ltd.uk very kindly agreed to offer a free copy of the book as a prize for a Racing Forum poetry competition.

The entries are outlined below and the winner will be decided by staff at Sportsbooks.ltd.uk. Prize winner to be announced sometime in next ten days or so.

However, I thought it’d be fun to have a forum vote on the poem we think deserves the accolade of TRF’s ‘Racing Poem of the Year 2008’. To that end I’ve outlined below all the poems (I’ve left out details of the authors until after the vote concludes, this Sunday night 8 pm when all will be revealed)

Jim Andersons book is widely available but can be obtained directly from the publisher and has been reviewed by Andrew Hughes in the Features section of the Forum. –

Buy ‘Shergar and other Friends’ by Jim Anderson here –

http://www.sportsbooks.ltd.uk/book_info/Shergar.html

[cormack15]

Saturday Morning

It’s a Saturday morning
And we’re sat at the table
It’s a quarter past eleven

Bamp, what are you doing ?
"I’m picking my horses,
For this afternoons ITV seven"

The horses he’s picked
Have little blue dots
Next to the horses name

I look at my paper
And choose my horse
And blue dot them just the same

When all are chosen
It’s on with the coat
And a trip in the car to Yate

Bamp says goodbye
I wish him good luck and
Nan tells him not to be late

In the afternoon
We sit and wait for
The start of the opening race

They’re under starters orders
Then they’re off and running
Going at a tremendous pace

They cross the line
Its a promising start
Bamp has got the first

He has the next winner
The next race is a photo
Bamp is fearing the worst

Its beaten a head
Bamp says never mind
And rips his slip into two

He rests back in his chair
And slowly nods off
Just as I knew he would do

[cormack15]

A Cautionary Tale

It started just on Saturdays
Just for a bit of fun
A small stakes Super Yankee
Then BANG all five had won

Over a grand to go and collect
From less than a fivers stake
Just think if I trebled my bet
Of the money I could make

And what if I bet each day
The winnings would be greater
I could pack in my boring job
Some time sooner or later

Not had a win for a while
Must be a temporary blip
I’ll phone one of those lines
They’ll give a winning tip

A maximum bet this week
So thats exactly what I did
Bleedin con artists they are
Cost me two hundred quid

I don’t know why I bother
Racing is completely bent
I’ll have to take that loan
To pay back the money spent

I’ll pay it back in no time
I can see the money on the table
The bookies better beware
I’ve got a tip straight from the stable

That jockey he wants shooting
He gave that a terrible ride
I tell you its daylight robbery
He ought to be put inside

Its been all of a year now
Since I had my last horse bet
Had to sell the house you see
To pay off my gambling debt

I’ve lost more than my money
And I’m ashamed of what I’ve done
To think it all just started out
As a little bit of fun

[cormack15]

TRAPPED

The horse turned around and spoke
unusual and quite unexpected
for an animal with vowels to cope
and use words so long rejected
when a howl or a growl for a dog
or a whinny for a horse
is just the job and that bit more accepted
An impossible hope is How Now Brown Cow
but of course uttered by a horse
who speaks it out loud
with a tongue roll so effected
or the rain in spain grunted by a sow
are sayings hardly ever detected

"Pin back your small flat pack
ears straightbacks – Chaps, if you like
with your small rotating eyes
your planetary guile your pig sty
ramshackle ill thought out lives
your concrete miles, SWAT MY FLIES "
the horse went on scratching his mouth
as he took in the stares and the doubt
with a laff and dropping some chaff
thereabout he looked around
and there wasn’t a sound
and he did not think twice
or anything wrong
in spilling more beans
to the no galloping gaping throng

"Some things give me the hump
but I just JUMP
at your sticks your whips
OUCH – your strange little hats
with their feathery bits
your tittle tattle when you saddle
crisps eaten as you rattle
on and on about the weather
crap chat rat attack you smiths and jacks
never ever neddy and ooh those leather straps
you tether too tight – I’ll sever
your hacks your tracks your animal quacks
the way you cover your backs
your man peeled carrots your noses like parrots
some small and stunted – sugar lumps
and bigger still your womens’ bumps
their little quips
so tart its art their tips
their shapely little wiggle-hips
like shivering sharks darting
their over zealous tongues
the lovely way they roll their R’s
your dips buns biccies your crazy manes
kept dry by arty farty sticks
that open up to stop the rain
the deep whistles of my attendant Jane
and deeper still as she opens my box
to stroke her darling white socks
but gee up dont join those dots
give me fresh hot bread and a lump
of cheese and pickle trickled over wet
with rich brown or tomato sauces sumptuous
afters and maybe I’ll forget and stem the sweats

A racing over eager flapping mind
with bloody hooves attached
cart off the horse be kind
Its like a scratch
you just cant get at ! "

[cormack15]

The Last Fall

Forward hooves
inch by inch,
through air,
upwards hooves,
inch by inch,
straining,
failing
reaching,
stretching,
failing still,
birch,
bursts open
hooves crash in,
smashing holes,
fighting back,
slamming in,
stopping,
back end lifts,
front end crashes through,
physics,
chemistry,
biology,
take over,
a splattering moment,
a noiseless,
breaking,
thrusting,
thudding,
violence moment,
subsides,
and they slide and slide and stop and stop and stop and come to rest,
quiet,

sudden,
swaying swirling wurlitzer up,
legs and back and neck,
and dig hooves in,
and off.

lie still,
can’t get breath, will though,
soon,
but done now,
done with this,
head in hands,
gasping,
done with this now.

[Author]

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