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Hoofski he he
have to say again
your return
and wit’s on years end
have done more ro rekindle warmth
in this house
than the devil’s toastmaster
with two new recruits at the goat’s gates
If I were a shepherd rather than a sheep
or if I were a carpenter
carrying the posts I made…I might relate the strory of the two lost baaa’s
I dedicate these almost year end words to you both…
not forgetting the perennial flat man himself
Ricky Lake who came in from the cold winds of Be fair
with a hot turkey and some glue wine
again to toast a few.The reason I have been absent myself from
this very house may soon be apparent as
the twelve postings enfold.
It is largely a matter of taking personal responsibility
for possible damage I may have done
with loose ill-thought out words;
small bombs
which waterfall and flash from my mind
to relieve stress
but can easily drown any poor soul
who sees himslelf at the floodgates
reading far too much
into the murky gathering waters
as he turns the handle
with a twitchy tremble to his hand,
to remove the devil’s face that stares back up
from the depths
to lurch him forward
then topple him
into his chosen destiny
the black leather bound
laughing tears
of pointless
self-administerd evil.I would like to
momnentarily forget the devil
and raise a toast
to jack of hearts
yeah the guy who stole the tartsBad head today
and I am, back in bankbrokeciti
having trvelled up yesterday
Set my alarm at six
to cancel my racing post
at the other place
but just rolled over
I couldn’t face a conversation
with a newsagent
who didn’t have a hangoverI’ve just been out
unshaven with one cup of tea inside
to buy one,
and as I passed the corner
my eyes met Emily’s
of newsnight fame.
I had seen her once before
in jogging rig very early
passing a gym I regularly walk byA fake tan today
but her eyes met mine
she gave me a deep searching look
and we sort of dipped temporarily into each others souls.
She’d of noticed I looked clapped out
and that my armani scarf
looked out of place
and my coat hadn’t seen a cleaners
in month’s –
she might of noticed my teenage wastrel shirt
By the way,
she was wheeling a blonde haired kid
probably taking it to a nursery
a career woman…dirty plates a bottle of rum on the carpet
hmmmbe wary g :
e reportedly had stalker issues in w6 and has moved camp.
see more of anjali these days – not as buttoned-up as on sky.
but neither a patch on melissa theuriau.
best regards
wit
the fact that Emily gave you the eye suggests to me, once again, that you are not the haggard old goat I had been thinking you were
….Ma, he’s makin’ eyes at me…
don’t some people take things seriously..
gamble, I hope, will know better.I felt so damn rough a litle later
I devoured half a box of after eight
and then,
well then Uglee’s goat was in evidence
as I waited for the 1300 Southwell
to loose two hundred nicker
and should have traded out more
as the price went silly before the race
blamed the rum bottle ‘n
touchy one as I was a head out…went to bed and set the alarm for 1500
woke up with this song in my b’onceTo the left, to the left
To the left, to the leftMmmm…
To the left, to the left
Everthing you own in the box to the leftI always try to bet with socks on and recovered
somewhat in the 1510 at Great Leighs
althought the aim was not to recoverI then went to the E bog
Of course, if you had told me in January that by the end of the year I would have been talking about a certain part of my anatomy in a Newsnight interview with the BBC director general, I probably would have resigned. Of course, it wasn’t really my anatomy. It was the Queen’s. Actually, it was neither of ours — but the momentary rental of a line from the comedy show Mock the Week to prove a point. The moment, anyway, has now been lifted gloriously out of context and has become what they call a ‘YouTube classic’. Which is just another way of saying lots of people now laugh at my expense. Either way, it’s probably not the best way to seek a pay rise in these times. I may have to blame Jonathan Ross for that episode. In fact, looking back over 2008 perhaps it’s just easier to blame him for everything.
I am more goat than sheep Ugly Mare
but possibly its down to perspective
and like most monkeymen
I have a very low opinion
and could spit at the mirror
when I have arrived back after a high windWit I beleive Anjali is half Indian
possibly the top half accounts for Delhi
and below an out and out Aussie
with sprinklings of surfers paradise
and a bit of X rated hoofI am possibly going to the flicks tonight
so my head will return to semi darknessHelp a lady out Hoofski why doncha?
UM,
According to his avatar on the old TRF site Gamble is ovine rather than caprine
he’ll never find another ewe
ewe is my softer side
I am just in been drinking
czech lager in a late bar
been to the flicks too,
I was in the back row on the right hand side
there were six seats
on my right was a woman
and on my left five
directly next to me to the left
was a young black woman, oh 28
who left just before the start left
to buy
a big carton of popcorn
possibly her mother next to her
to the left
munching a supersize carton
through half the flick
I was in corny heavenThe flick was called the Reader
Ralph Fiennes… erm big problem
I never could stand the english patient
two attempts and rather like popcorn
or a teenager with a spotty one
I lasted half a film.
I consider Fiennes a cross between
Kevin Costner and Jeremy Irons
and couldn’t believe he could act
under five thousand feet,
but was pleasantly surprised when he landedI am finishing off the evening
with two rums, not rams not nuns
but rums,
but being awfully careful.Drone good to see you
hoof too impossibly attached to the Mare
all part of the furnitureHelp a lady out Hoofski why doncha?
UM,
According to his avatar on the old TRF site Gamble is ovine rather than caprine
he’ll never find another ewe
lol….oh I see….I think
I preferred Ralph Fiennes in The Constant Gardener – quite exciting, nice twist.
Talk of the devil
Quote: from stevedvg on 9:04 am on Oct. 5, 2005[br]
Am I proud of being Scottish??Well…..
– we invented a bunch of stuff – TV, telephone, light bulb, aeroplane ( twice) – to name just a few.
– came up with the theory of evolution
– produced the link between Newtonian and modern physics (Maxwell)
– wrote a couple of very good scary books (Jeckyl & Hyde, Frankenstein)
Could you elaborate with a few names, as to my recollection many of the above were not Jocks?
(Edited by Razeen at 9:01 am on Oct. 6, 2005)
I rather like black ice shoes Sad
I will relate a story.
An oil executive I knew was abroad
and out one evening with a group
of colleagues and potential customers
sipping back the drinks with
everything nicely down to the old expense account.
It was during the latter part of the evening
that the oil man reached inside his jacket
for a business card when he discovered his wallet was missing.
He thought about the situation and was soon certain
that one of his six drinking partners had picked his pocket.
Inside he had cards and a fair amount of cash.
He wanted to give the thief the opportunity to
replace the wallet so he suggested another round.
After ordering he spoke to the group." A friend of mine was drinking in this self-same
bar last year when he had his pocket picked.
The strange thing was the culprit was one of the party
he was drinking with. This friend of mine
turned to the group and explained that one of them had
played a joke on him and picked his pocket.
He stated tht he had little interest in the cash
but wanted the cards
and particualrly the personal family photos
that mean a lot to him.
Strangley at the end of the evening the wallet
was back in his pocket.
The story caused some discussion. "When everyone was leaving at the end of the evening, the oil man checked his jacket. He did not know how it had been done, but the stolen wallet with all its contents was magically back in the inside pocket.
The reason I wrote the piece above
was it’s conncetion with the first line of this postI rather like black ice shoes
Sad
Lolly’s brown has set the bar
My posts have been corrupted
but in a hundred years
not one damn soul on
this rat infested planet
will bat an eyelid about it
so let’s move on
and get realSalty Jack
has taken years from my youth
and mocked my sanity.You owe me ol’ son
I have been reading and re-reading your posts
til I am blue in the faceJack is of course a disciplinarian
age about 59
and I will now rumble up
his only official joke.
This was posted four years ago
but like Jack’s discipline
it’s as fresh as
a strapped down daisyThere was once an old salt called Jack who in his later years had nothing
left but memories of his sea faring days.
He decided to go back down memory lane and visit the docks from which he had sailed from so many times.
He donned his bell bottoms and roll neck sweater and off he strolled around the dock area breathing in the clean air from a brisk wind.
after a while he saw a working girl which brought back more pleasant memories when after getting his money after a good trip did partake of the pleasures of the flesh.
He thought why not lets relive it all and after negotiated with the girl went to a nearby boarding house for a short stay to complete his trip down memory lane.
After a little small talk Jack got down to business and was moving albeit a little slower than when in his youth but moving nevertheless.
After a few minutes he asked the girl how she thought he was doing to which she replied not bad about three knots.
What do you mean three knots Jack asked.
You are NOT hard NOT in and you are NOT getting your money back.I saw this joke a few months ago on THE HUN and it really tickled my fancy and thought it appropriate.
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saltyjack is always offline
( I have stolen these pots of old gold )
?[/b]
…sorry
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