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Don’t want to go into too many details, but I’ve had an internet ‘friend’ for four and a half years now. Neither of us is in a position to do anything about it, what with families etc and him being 1000s of miles away, so we’re just happy with chatting over the interweb. We’ve always been honest with each other though, none of this pretending to be 22 crap! We know each other warts an’ all.
And neither of us was looking for it to happen, it just did.I’ll take it he is a non smoker then !
Haha no he smokes! Although I have to admit that he did try to hide that fact from me for a while, knowing how much I hate smoking. He airbrushed a cigarette out of a photo he sent me
He did own up in the end. That’s where internet relationship’s work….I can’t smell the smoke, and he can’t see me in the morning with my hair on end and no make-up on.I have no chance then Borrough Hill, with my twenty a day habit, add another 10 to that when I am out drinking which is fairly often, and thats with the smoking ban in place.
"Any single girls on here, who enjoy a puff"
not the homosexual puff, just in case some smart ass, wants to comment on it.
None whatsoever Mr. Marz. My friend is lucky I was already smitten when I found out!
Give ’em up already, they stink! Seriously, you’re not going to find many girls who’d like a guy who smokes IMHO. And that’s not to mention the health issue! I’ve tried to get my man to give up a few times, and he does try, but his missus smokes like a chimbley, so there’s not much hope.madman’s looking for a good spanking by the sound of things..
Simon,
thanks for posting that dreadful story –
the things people do
I prefer to look on the bright side though, and think of all the happy friendships that have developed because of this wonderful innovation.
Some of which have been revealed on here.There’s plenty of weirdos on the interweb, I’ve talked to a few, but there’s also some wonderful people. I’ve made some great friends over the last few years, and when I go to the US next summer, some of us are meeting up for the first time which’ll be incredible!
…oh that’s amazing, all meeting up!!, – so exciting for you
I know it’s probably a way off yet, but I hope you come back here and tell us how it all went.
I’d be interested to hear how everyone responded to meeting for the first time…. I think I would go into uncontrollable giggling and blushes for at least 20 minutes.
best wishes,
This meeting, Boroughhill?
Does it involve hotel room-keys being placed into a bowl, at some point during the evening?
Mrs Mare, I could tell you some stories about meeting.
A lady I met for the first time in Canada was so nervous, she crashed her car into a wire fence on the way out of Halifax airport.
Before the initial greet and snog, there I was sprinting down the exit carriageway chasing the off-side rear wheel trim.
Admittedly, I had put on weight since the initial exchange of photographs and was also wearing wraparound sunglasses and a black suit. And strong aftershave – a little too much – which I subsequently discovered was illegal in Nova Scotia.
After two years of IM conversation, phone calls, stories, and letters, when we finally met it was…er…less than love at first sight LOL. She thought I was a gangster and had conned my way into her affections.
Once she’d calmed down we were alright though. Travelled over a few times before it inevitably ended.
This meeting, Boroughhill?
Does it involve hotel room-keys being placed into a bowl, at some point during the evening?
Haha no way! Some of them are female anywho. Plus my special friend isn’t amongst them otherwise things might have been different.
Ho humYes Ugly Mare, I am excited! It’ll be so strange actually seeing them face to face when we’ve talked for about five years, and I’m sure it’ll be enmbarrassing at first, which is why we’ve agreed to meet at a restaurant, so we’ll have eating to concentrate on and talk about as well.
Maxilon, awesome story! I envy you being able to meet her, even though it didn’t work out in the end, it must have been a fabulous experience.
I think I’d crash the car too in her shoes, I cannot imagine how I’d feel if I met my man! I have a feeling I’d faint into a puddle on the floor at first sight of him.Excuse me for bringing this thread back up again, I have some unfinished business to attend to.
Max,
You made me laugh with that little story and the vision of you, slight tubby with sunglasses running down the road, but at least you got a snog afterwards so she must have been proud of you. I think I would have waited a little.I find this extraordinary that after 2 years of chasing each other, so to speak, and a bit of bonking, it all ends up as nothing and I think that’s such a shame and wonder if it’s actually the chase that turns people on with all this as it sets the imagination into overdrive and runs away with us I think, but we enjoy the moments.
Presumably you were hoping for something more than ‘a bit of crumpet’, I can’t believe anyone would go all that way just for that…?
When you first got talking to her, or anyone else, do you make the first move? or did she/they. I’m a bit old fashioned and traditional and cannot imagine making a move on anyone – he has to start, that is the way of it for me, even with a one legged weirdo from BelgradeObviously this travelling costs a lot of money and it doesn’t square up with your other post about gambling and counting the pennies. Perhaps you’re no longer galivanting around like you used to. How do you know which lady to pick when you’re in a chat room? there must be loads or do you just find each other.
Why is aftershave illegal in Nova Scotia?…that’s odd.
Sorry about all these questions – life puzzles me sometimesDelighted to hear any other stories you might have, or anyone else who wants to divulge their secrets [of success or otherwise].
find this extraordinary that after 2 years of chasing each other, so to speak, and a bit of bonking, it all ends up as nothing
I met three women from the New World and one from Sweden. Mrs Mare. With each one (who occured sequentially, like cyber-monogamy with only a little crossover) it was like a relationship in itself. At the time, I had a good job, plenty of holidays and plenty of spare cash which replenished itself every month as if by magic, (unlike this punting caper).
As I worked with computers and that, I could keep in touch with whoever I was talking to as well as working. E-mails, MSN online permanently, international calls at 1p a minute; the IM function of the forum we met on. Public posts.
God, I spent more time with these women than I ever did with the missus.I don’t think it was a case of chasing, Mrs Mare. And as for the bonking…at our age, there’s not much standing on ceremony nowadays, is there? To coin a phrase, my ladyfriend from Washington DC fell upon me in the car park of Reagan Airport like a lapsed vegetarian discovering a T-Bone steak. I wasn’t complaining.
(That scenario isn’t a given, though. A friend of mine spent 2k going to San Luis Obispo to meet a much younger woman and despite the steamiest e-mails this side of “Last Tango in Paris”, he didn’t get as much as a sisterly hug. You have to laugh, (though he didn’t).
All three relationships had limited “courtships”. We went straight down to post without parading in front of the stands, straight into a kind of deep intimacy which may or may not have been real.
It was all very modern.
They way I looked at it, I got all the best parts of these women. The imaginations, the emotions, the optimism, the dreams, the hope and the communication, the attention and the fidelity (which I later found out is almost impossible on the Net) but none of the downside.
The natural downsides between people (the earthy body smells, the politics, the strange shoes) only appeared at meeting because you, of course, don’t get the real person on the Net.
You get an abstract. And in many ways you get exactly who you want the person to be.
Yet even before we met, I felt like I knew them. It was real. I know that sounds bizarre – and I sometimes think it’s insane myself – but look at Myspace and Facebook. The number of transatlantic trysts. If you’re granted a good imagination, you can do it. And get away with it.
I could have met many more in the US and a part of me regrets I didn’t, but you make promises don’t you! There was one woman in New York who offered to marry me sight unseen, Mrs Mare. Which was nice. She was real quality, if a bit mad, and I suspect I would have wanted for nothing ever again.
I saw a picture of her pad. It was Sandbanks material, in the middle of a massive untouched forest and next to a lake brimming with fish. She even had a boathouse, like that one out of “Body Heat”. I could have had SIS in there and a PC. It would be like the shed-retreat I never had.
But I have a lad I adore otherwise, s**t, I would have said yes (as long as she didn’t mind me spending winter at Aqueduct and summer at Belmont and Saratoga).
I met three ladies in England – and had one scarily intense triste with a woman from Sarf London. I met her twice after six months of long e-mails, MSN, letters and phone calls every night and when we finally met for the first time, in winter, on London Bridge, the electricity would have uncoiled the suspension cables. It was too intense. It blew us out. That’s the thing about the Internet, Mrs Mare. The e-mails, the MSN and the phone calls build up such a sense of anticipation you are either seriously disappointed or already married in your thoughts!!
The other English encounters didn’t work, by and large, but both the ladies remained friends for a long long time.
Oh and check Google for the aftershave ban in Halifax
It’s true. I’ll never forget this vison of healthy loveliness wrinkling her nose at me at the airport and nearly fainting. Slightly embarrassed, I figured I’d had a long flight and this can sometimes have an effect on your underpants – but it was the Givenchy she objected to, she revealed later. Luckily, her and I ended up doing a John and Yoko for eight days except for a day out watching the trotters at Truro Raceway and a Jazz night.Laters. Max.
blimey Max, another great post I thoroughly enjoyed the read, and did I laugh…LOL!!!..you have a way of writing you know, you should really take it up, write romantic fiction – I would buy it!!!!
actually Max, I think I’m almost in love with you myself after reading all that….[only joking, don’t get worried ].
There’s quite a bit there for me to digest, and I need to consider over a cuppa and get back a little later, but thanks for being so explicit – you’ve certainly been around and why not?
There’s a lot of what you said I agree with too.“and the fidelity (which I later found out is almost impossible on the Net)”
this in particular is always something I’ve been suspicious of, people can have dozens of relationships on the go at one time I imagine.
anyway, will reply later on, and if you have the time and I appreciate you’ve got better things to do, will speak again shortly.
Hi Mrs Mare, romantic fiction!! LOL. Heaving bosoms and handsome Doctors…hmmmmmmmmmm…one way of replenishing my bank I suppose.
this in particular is always something I’ve been suspicious of, people can have dozens of relationships on the go at one time I imagine.
You’re not wrong there, Mrs Mare. What about that fellow who got kicked off an online dating agency? This posh outfit was one of those requiring a hefty fee and dedicated to supplying marriage opportunities rather than a Saturday night bunk up.
In two years, after three hundred dates generated by their matching software he still hadn’t found the "soulmate" of his dreams. The agency felt he wasn’t taking the matter seriously and bounced him from their database.
When he was interviewed by the Mirror, the rather average looking chap from Cardiff said that despite bedding two thirds of the ladies he met, "he didn’t really fancy any of them"
hehehehehehehe. The rascal.Mind you, Mrs Mare, in my experience, in the Net generation, the ladies are far worse. I know one women from Ohio who had about thirty blokes ringing her up. She needed Outlook Express to organise it all.
Anyroad, me and the lad are off to the Flaming Dragon for the best value dinner anyone ever invented. Five and a half quid for two hours worth of eating! Thats better value than owt at Wolver.
Laters Max. hi Max,
oh my word I never read this – the things people get up to today….lol!!!. In a way I’m glad that I’m not part of it now and never likely to be yet I wouldn’t want to decry it totally as it seems like a lot of fun for many.I hope you enjoyed your dinner with your little ‘un, I’m pleased to hear that you do actually get out a bit these days…
Just to follow on here from earlier, and I’m going to contradict something I said about finding it extraordinary, but I’m referring mainly to the travelling some people will do, but the point I want to make is that there’s nothing new in this teletype dating, as I call it.
I trained as a Secretary but spent a few years whilst single [around 1980] using Telex machines at work. You don’t hear a lot about this form of communication today and it was purely for business in those days, but during lunch breaks a number of us got chatting to operators abroad, mostly in Europe because of the time differences.
Sometimes at the end of a message a distant operator might start a conversation, something minor like, how are you today? and before you know where you are, you’re involved in an intimate discussion with someone you’ve no idea who they are, and in work time and at the company’s expense.
In fact, I quite rightly got sacked from a well known firm because of this once, but sometimes the conversations went on and on, with reams of paper being wasted . This is how I met the man from Belgrade, who spoke good English, sounded really nice, and he came to England but never told me about the one leg!…lolThis sort of ‘talk’ is now in everyone’s homes, it’s just a reworking of Telex, in my view, and now known as MSN Messenger. So although you say it’s a modern way of dating, although I’d hope there are still some traditionalists out there, it does remind me of that old adage “there’s nothing new under the sun”.
“You get an abstract. And in many ways you get exactly who you want the person to be”
This I can completely understand and it’s what’s so dicey about it all, and weird really, it’s playing mind games I think.Anyway Max, just want to say thanks a million for sharing and allowing me to have a giggle with you over this, [you’ve had me in hysterics to be honest], and for giving me the time of day here. As others have shown on this topic, it’s nice, I think, to see people open up a bit. I appreciate that.
p.s. I’ve read about aftershave in Halifax, and generally agree with it actually. As for your use of Givenchy , always preferred good old fashioned Brut on a man myself, although my husband refuses to have anything to do with it.
Many years ago in a different lifetime [or so it seems] I was a stock clerk in Cornwall. This was in the days when a computer was the size of a small village and telex machines probably hadn’t been invented..I used to have to phone people up all over the country to get stock, and made quite a few friends on the phone. One guy said he was coming from Liverpool to see me [wasn’t unusual, living in Cornwall people were always visiting – when I moved to Salford I became a social pariah]..when he turned up it was all arranged that I was to go back home with him; we were to be married and his mum knew all about it..it was all so embarrassing. Needless to say, I didn’t go [he looked like Barry Manilow]. … in those days there was a lot of ‘blind dating’ arranged by ones friends [do people do that now?]..I am an expert on singles groups etc having been divorced several years ago, but never did internet stuff. I found the main problem was finding male ‘friends’ because everyone seemed to want relationships and I’d always had loads of guys who were pals [ok when you’re safe in a marriage but difficult when you’re single].Wonder what would have happened had I been computer literate then? It’s interesting how relationships and the means of meeting people have changed over the years….
Oh, what lovely tales. There is nothing new in the world, is there!
These fellows you met on the telex machines. You never saw them, did you? You just heard their voices and the machines of your imagination completed the picture. What did this person look like? Who is he? What is his history? I can hear the wheels turn.
And then it begins…the story builds. In many ways its better than meeting someone in the pub, because in that situation the data is slapped right there on the slab. In long distance correspondence you need to work at it a little.
The best horror films never show the screaming corpses being mangled or the hapless victim’s gizzards sliding down the gullet of the beast, do they? It’s all happening behind the door. The crunching. The film-makers leave it all to the imagination which is just about the most powerful force we possess. And thats why it works, all this love by correspondence. I’m sure thats why people go through it.
You have the telex machines and now we have MSN. The imagination is the link across time.
What about the handwritten letter? Do you remember letters? My, I still possess letters from when I was fifteen. The pen letter. When was the last time you sent one?
Even now, recieving a hand written letter, with just a hint of perfume and a watermark infused with a hint of seduction, is a rare pleasure. Even the most spier-like of handwriting is so much more intimate than Times New Roman with a few smilies slapped around awkwardly.
And Mrs Mare, you talk about the lack of fidelity on the Net, it’s difficult to write thirty hand written letters a week!
And yet the art of the letter is dying as fast as the Indonesian rainforest. Because of the keyboard some young people can scarcely scratch an X signature with a wax crayon. (Illiteracy is higher now, as a percentage, than at any time since the thirties. Sociologists have suggested that the lack of graffiti in town centres compared to ten years ago is less about draconian policing and more about lack of handwriting skills amongst the young; if they could text graffiti, they would do. Innit. How long will it be before handwriting becomes obsolete altogether?).
Do you recall the poets Elizabeth Browning and Robert Barrett in the 19th century who fell madly in love with each other by letter and poem without having met? And then the poets Robert Graves and Laura Riding who did the same across the atlantic about seventy years later meeting for the first time on a dockside after six long years of a relationship of a thousand letters.
Amazing stories…there is nothing new, it seems; though I suppose Hector attempting to seduce Helen of Troy using Greek carrier pigeon is pushing it a bit.
Mrs Mare, Old Spice do you?
I think I’d have given a Barry Manilow lookalike a miss too Mo,..
lot’s of people sound so nice on the phone and I admit to having had one or two blind dates resulting from this back in the 70’s.
I don’t think they were quite taken by my undoubted glamour and stand-out appeal either “Wonder what would have happened had I been computer literate then?”
Mo, I reckon you’d have been a right goer
“These fellows you met on the telex machines. You never saw them, did you? You just heard their voices and the machines of your imagination completed the picture. What did this person look like? Who is he? What is his history? I can hear the wheels turn”
…there was only 1 or 2 Max – give me a break
“What about the handwritten letter? Do you remember letters? My, I still possess letters from when I was fifteen. The pen letter. When was the last time you sent one?”
..you sound quite sentimental there, nothing wrong in that. I can’t remember when I last wrote one outside of the family to whom of course I write regularly [they don’t all have email], but I agree there’s nothing better than receiving one and great pleasure in sending one, if you have someone to send one to. I take it you’re referring to a more romantic liaison here.
Letter writing has been a dying art for a long time though wouldn’t you say? since the telephone became universal, but I don’t feel the need to use text speak anytime soon, or to converse with anyone that way but that’s for the youth of today – they’re welcome to it, although like everyone else I do text now and then.
Most of the letter writing I receive today is someone trying to sell me something. If anyone get’s anything other than this, they’re very lucky.As for the poets you mention, I admit they hadn’t occurred to me, but as I stated earlier in this thread, the title comes from a Thomas Hardy novella of that time.
As for Old Spice, yeah, not bad
He did own up in the end. That’s where internet relationship’s work….I can’t smell the smoke, and he can’t see me in the morning with my hair on end and no make-up on.
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