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Wot no Kempton

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  • #569
    Glenn
    Participant
    • Total Posts 1981

    Gregory (Scotland Yard detective): "Is there any other point to which you would wish to draw my attention?" <br>Holmes: "To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time." <br>Gregory: "The dog did nothing in the night-time." <br>Holmes: "That was the curious incident."

    Today we have a Sunday where absolutely everyone has better things to do than go racing, where betting shop workers’ morale could be further broken by being made to work and where FOBTs can be legally switched on…

    …so why are there no pit ponies running, slowly, around Kempton Park?

    This is all very suspicious. They must up to smoething.

    I’ll post my own theories later but am interested to hear what everyone else thinks first.

    #33762
    davidbrady
    Member
    • Total Posts 3901

    Well with 2 Irish meetings today, the bookies are just just being friendly this close to Christmas.

    #33763
    dave jay
    Member
    • Total Posts 3386

    They’ve made enough money slashing SP’s .. they all need a day off to get it counted.

    #33764
    SwallowCottage
    Member
    • Total Posts 1008

    There’s no racing at Kempton next sunday either.<br>I suspect some sort of conspiracy……. maybe this represents a secret code that will give the winner of the King George on Boxing day;)

    #33765
    davidbrady
    Member
    • Total Posts 3901

    Maybe they’re preparing the track cos the King George is going to be run on the sand this year!

    #33766
    Glenn
    Participant
    • Total Posts 1981

    Aerial reconnaissance over the sandpit of shame with heat-seeking equipment has revelaed around a dozen bodies, around 12′ tall, in the Kempton grandstand during recent meetings there.

    These can’t be punters, because none go to Kempton, so who are they? My money is on a top-secret cabal of shapeshifting aliens who control everything that goes on in racing these days.

    These top-secret meetings of alien lizards are clearly held around a smoke-filled table in the centre of the Kempton grandstand (right next to the bar selling excorbetantly priced Fosters) in order to preserve their evil plans from the general public.

    My moles inform me that this body, sometimes referred to as the trilateral commission, has been testing out their alien technology on the all-weather tracks.

    They have in their possession a ‘dimensional ripper’ that displaces the weight of money placed on a horse in the cartel’s shops onto the actual horse itself, in order to slow it down. A prototype of this sort has recently been tested out at Wolverhampton. The plan was to place the weight on the horses’ backs, but a malfunctioning resulted in the weight directly going onto the horses’ legs, resulting in a succession of jollies breaking down.

    They have apparently sorted out these teething problems and are now, spurred on by the occasional fav actually making the frame there recently. planning to go ‘live’ at Kempton.

    Today was the day that the ‘dimensional ripper’ was installed under the course, hence no racing.

    You have been warned!

    (Edited by Glenn at 2:03 am on Dec. 18, 2006)

    #33767
    Mug Punter
    Member
    • Total Posts 27

    Glenn

    Thanks for the warning. Have you cracked the cartels code yet?

    #33768
    Glenn
    Participant
    • Total Posts 1981

    There are two types of people in this life my friend:

    1) Those that look at the cartel’s prices at Kempton and it just doesn’t seem to add up. Might as well be in Greek.

    2) Those insightful few for whom it does all add-up…to 150% sadly.

    #33769
    dave jay
    Member
    • Total Posts 3386

    Kempton have a bigger overrounds than Rigsby’s gas meter.

    #33770
    Glenn
    Participant
    • Total Posts 1981

    My suspicions well and truly confirmed by yesterday’s results, the first day since the gadget was installed:

    All seven favs beat and only two placed (place odds of 1.4, 1.375, 1.4, 1.25, 1.45, 1.4 and 1.7).

    #33771
    Ultimate NightmareUltimate Nightmare
    Member
    • Total Posts 326

    Glenn learn to read the form then you wouldn’t have to write FAV :biggrin:

    #33772
    Plato
    Participant
    • Total Posts 12

    Yet despite the performance of those Kempton favourites the shrewd TDK still could not manage to put up a losing lay on the poly when sending those poor sportsman punters to the cardboard boxes under Chelsea Bridge as lay after lay romped home alone on the polytrack.<br>Still as he once said -shrewd punters will find an edge on the poly at  Kempton.Presumably the proof of this pudding is in the secret code and not in the eating.<br>Did anyone see the desperate attempts of the Captain and Willo to sell Kempton on RUK at the weekend as they went race by race picking two a go and still could not get one sighted at a finish.

    #33773
    davidjohnson
    Member
    • Total Posts 4491

    Quote: from Plato on 9:27 pm on Dec. 19, 2006[br]<br>Did anyone see the desperate attempts of the Captain and Willo to sell Kempton on RUK at the weekend as they went race by race picking two a go and still could not get one sighted at a finish.<br>

    Stuart Williams seemed to know full well that Minnow was going to be winning, and it was top-rated by one well-known ratings firm.

    #33774
    Glenn
    Participant
    • Total Posts 1981

    DJ,

    What is the level stakes profit/loss of said firm at Kempton this year on its top-rated selections?

    #33775
    davidjohnson
    Member
    • Total Posts 4491

    Don’t know Glenn.

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