August 24, 2005 at 16:37 #4034
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, is having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asks, "Harry, what’s your problem?"
Harry answers, "I’m too smart for the 1st grade ma’am. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m a lot smarter than she is. I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Ms. Brooks thinks "you cheeky little b’stard!".
Ms. Brooks is well known to the whole school as being one of the more uppity teachers.
She takes Harry to the principal’s office, sure that the principal will turn down the brat’s request immediately.
Whilst Harry waits in the outer office, the teacher explains the situation to the principal.
She is of the opinion that the child is acting with far too much bravado for her liking. She is far from impressed by the boy’s big-headed opinion of his own worth, and is determined to put him in his place.
The principal tells Ms. Brooks he’ll give the boy a test. If he fails to answer any of his questions he’s to go back to the 1st grade and behave.
She agrees, smugly.
Harry is brought in and the conditions are explained to him and he agrees to take the test.
>Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"<br>><br>>Harry: "9".<br>><br>>Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"<br>><br>>Harry: "36"<br>><br>>Principal: "What is 12 x 12?"<br>><br>>Harry: "144"
… and so it goes with every question the principal thinks a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go up to the 3rd grade, personally."
Ms. Brooks is flabbergasted! This to her is a challenge to her authority, and she is determined that this first grader is put in his place once and for all.
So, says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agree.
>Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry is quite taken aback by the style of question and hesitates slightly.
After a moment …
>Harry: "Uhhh … Legs?"<br>><br>>Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants, that you have but I do not?"
The principal is taken aback slightly, and wonders why she would ask such a question!
>Harry replied: "Pockets."<br>><br>>Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"<br>><br>>Harry: "Pants"
Ms. Brooks is getting slightly agitated by now, sure that she would have surely caught out this little whippersnapper with her line of interragation …
>Ms. Brooks: What’s starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?<br>><br>>Harry: "A Coconut."
The principal sits forward with his mouth hanging open …
>Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal’s eyes open really wide at this point. He is about to put a stop to this farce, when Harry interupts …
>Harry: "Bubble gum"<br>><br>>Ms. Brooks: "What is it that a man does standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"<br>><br>>Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal is trembling.
>Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ and is associated with lot of heat and excitement?"<br>><br>>Harry: "Fire truck"
The principal breathes a sigh of relief and tells the teacher, "Put Harry in the 5th grade, I got the last seven questions wrong……"
(Edited by Racing Daily at 6:07 pm on Aug. 24, 2005)August 24, 2005 at 18:01 #93711
That is quality!
Thankyou.August 27, 2005 at 22:37 #93712
Thanks for being the only person in here with a sense of humour, mate of lolly ;) <br>68 views and not a ‘LOL’ or LMAO’ in the house (well, one. But that’s your nic so it doesn’t count) LOL :biggrin:August 28, 2005 at 06:04 #93713non vintageMember
- Total Posts 1268
have to agree with Lolly’s Mate here – top notch! hadn’t seen it until this morning, so…
LOL! LMAO! ROTFLMBFAO! SCUBA-DIVER!
:)September 19, 2005 at 17:59 #4047
A 10 year old boy was watching tv one night with his Mum and younger 8 year old brother, when, the embarassing moment of a couple having sex appears on the screen.
At first the 10 year old goes very red and looks at his Mum, who is also embarased.
The mum thinks for a second and feels she has to say something.
She says, "Its okay kids, I think she’s having a heart attack".
"Thats a shame", says the 8 year old.
"She was just about to come"!
(Edited by lollys mate at 7:01 pm on Sep. 19, 2005)September 20, 2005 at 18:16 #94049
Razzie you old bugger.
I hat to edit it because i like me spelling to wright.
And I fought i dun kwite good.
And btw. The new natives dont fight me.<br> Cos I is a lover. Not a fighter.
You should also learn to be more tollerant.
And visit here;September 20, 2005 at 18:37 #94050
qualihy :biggrin:September 21, 2005 at 11:16 #94053Andrew HughesMember
- Total Posts 1904
ItÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s the role of comedy to test assumptions and boundaries of comfort with freedom.
I thought the role of comedy was to make us laughSeptember 21, 2005 at 11:41 #94054cormack15Keymaster
- Total Posts 8799
Nice one LM!September 21, 2005 at 18:30 #94057
Razzie. You sad old bugger!
You need to look in the mirror more. Im sure it will get you to smile, if not laugh. Cos you are so funny.
I thought betfair was about racing and not humour. Never been to that place as I dont know anything about racing.
I acctually "lifted" the joke from last Fridays vist to Jounglers Comedy Club in Watford. 3 hours of comedy and it was the only joke I could remember.
Why is that?
I thought the role of comedy was to make you laugh.<br> Nothing to do with comfort or freedom.
Where do you get that old chestnut from?
R.D. You my friend know your kwalihy.;)September 22, 2005 at 17:59 #94059
You edited that crap?September 25, 2005 at 18:42 #94061SkyMember
- Total Posts 44
Comedy is a point of perspective<br>And it certainly been hilarious for me watching razzie continually editing his postsSeptember 25, 2005 at 23:39 #94067SkyMember
- Total Posts 44
Dont blame it on Sky ,<br>Razzie if the populace makes you look foolish ,well so be it<br>All Sky did was laughSeptember 26, 2005 at 18:29 #94068
The best joke so far on this thread is that Razie called me a social outcast.
(Edited by a social outcast at 7:24 on the day Razzie brought a new dictionary)
You must have saved up for weeks/months to be able to get those new words out into a new post.
Well done. you have excelled yourself.September 27, 2005 at 17:51 #94075
You touch nothing.
We laugh at you.
Cos. In my dictionary Razz means " to make fun of"
Now thats funny!;)
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