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Irish 2,000 Article

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  • #1791
    hoofhearted
    Member
    • Total Posts 252

    A superb article, Trackside. I really do mean that.

    It is an excellent example of properly marshalled reportage and incorporates spot-on analysis that would put many professional efforts in the newspapers to shame.

    Well done!

    #62006
    stevedvg
    Member
    • Total Posts 1137

    This is a writing critique rather than a comment on the content:

    (1) Too many unnecessary words.

    e.g.  "Although it is certainly premature to label Cockney Rebel as the best of a mediocre bunch"

    Why "certainly"?

    Why not "Although it’s premature"?

    (2) Your sentences are too long and too twisted. The ideas (and grammar) get jumbled up.

    I get a real sense that you’re trying to say every thought that’s in your head rather than taking hte time to decide what is and what isn’t important enough to keep.  

    Hope this helps,

    Steve

    #62008
    heffo
    Member
    • Total Posts 319

    Great post Trackside.<br>Agree with your observation that Peslier’s decision to race alot closer to the pace than he did at Newmarket was a wise one.<br>It wasn’t as apparent prior to the 2000 but looking back on all the races at the Curragh today no horse won coming from well off the pace. No horse won by leading all the way either for that matter.<br>Anyway great stuff trackside.

    #62015
    stevedvg
    Member
    • Total Posts 1137

    I must admit I wrote this in under an hour, thus I did not get the chance to review it as I normally would

    It’s the old

    "apologies for writing you a long letter, I didn’t have the time to write you a short one"

    phenomenon.

    :biggrin: :cool:

    Steve

    #62018
    naps
    Member
    • Total Posts 159

    Good article trackside.

    "Indeed, it can be argued that Teofilo was slightly unlucky not to have won a classic after he was nailed on the line by Astronomer Royal in the French 2,000 Guineas on ground that was softer than ideal."

    I know you didn’t review this but if you had taken a couple of minutes you could have put the correct horse in the above sentence.

    #62021
    madman marz
    Member
    • Total Posts 707

    You might get a job with the Shetland Islands telegraphs racing department, but I would suggest you read up on pony racing.

    Seriously Trackside, very good article. <br>

    #62022
    davidbrady
    Member
    • Total Posts 3901

    Enjoyed that trackside – well done

    #62029
    sporting sam
    Participant
    • Total Posts 651

    there was no hob nobbing, no name dropping and you didnt call anyone a "b*****d
    " unlike that young chap in Paris the other year. Jackass was it? I wasnt a member then…<br>Very good indeed, I drifted off a bit during that last <br>piece but you really got your point accross.<br>Can we look forward to more of the same?

    #62033
    Money on
    Member
    • Total Posts 178

    Very good article Trackside, i dunno how i let that 1 slip outta my Radar. The problem is now we’ll be expecting another one after every classic and that includes the Irish ones.

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