Good Name, Good Name (for a horse)

[Librettist]

Phar Knell

Which is not a million miles away from the phrase I shall mutter under my breath when it falls at the last in the Gold Cup having been a distance clear.

[absolution]

Not original but would choose <br>Qualitair Flyer<br>this was a horse i had a fixation about some years back and for some reason kept backing it even though most of its form read ‘never nearer’ – needless to say i eventually gave up and it came home at southwell !!

[Seven Towers]

I would buy an early 2 yo call it The Fighting Temeraire and have it trained by Bill Turner

[quixallcrossett]

I would call my horse (it would have to be chesnut with a white blaze) Many a Mickle in the hope that it made a Muckle!!<br>In the early 90’s we had a few hairs in the tale of a one eyed horse called Tesekkurederim with Bill Clay. I wrote to the RP to see if anybody knew what it meant & 3 people rang to tell me it was Thank you very much in Turkish!<br>I think a cleverly named horse is Oceans Apart by Desert Air out of Ffestiniog.

[jilly]

Thurabread :cheesy:

[Shadow Leader]

I’d love to call a horse Mrsmigginspieshop :biggrin:

[Sal]

I was asked to come up with a name for a colt by Desert Prince out of Kid Gloves.  I thought he should be named Palm.<br>:)

[rory]

Quote: from Grasshopper on 7:54 pm on Feb. 1, 2007[br][Yeah doyley…………but the gold was buried in the grave next to Arch Stanton’s.

Not a lot of people know that. :cool:<br>

Have I told you my Arch Stanton story Grasshopper? It involves self acclaimed quiz king and ‘most anally retentive drunk in Harrow’ finalist Pat "nice teeth" McIntyre. Typical pub conversation with Pat circa 10pm goes thus:

#1: "……pair of lacy knickers in my jacket pocket!"<br>#2: "Bloody hell ~ I bet she went berserk!"<br>Pat: "Ere! Do you know where the word berserk comes from?"<br>#1: "No Pat, now f*** off! I’m telling a story."<br>Pat: "Well, I’ll tell you. See, the vikings…….."<br>Rest Of Pub: "F*** Off Pat!!!!!"

Anyway, on a trip to Dublin a few years back, Pat had latched on to the fact that Arch Stanton was running in the big novice hurdle on Hennessy Day at Leopardstown and started regaling us thusly:

"Ere! d’you know where the name Arch Stanton comes from?"<br>Me, Rich and Mark: "No Pat. Don’t care either."<br>Pat: "Well I’ll tell you. In the Good The Bad and The Ugly…"<br>All: "F*** off Pat!!!"<br>Pat(eventually): "…..the grave NEXT to Arch Stanton’s!"

It was, by design, a boozy weekend and Pat, as is his wont, kept forgetting that he’d already told us all about the origin of Arch Stanton so continued to do so at regular intervals. This might have proved somewhat annoying but Pat stayed on the right side of everyone by laying bets on various sporting events of which he possessed little knowledge.

"What price Celtic against Hibs Pat?"<br>"Um……"<br>"Hibs are pretty strong Pat"<br>"Evens?"<br>"Beats the 2/7 at Hills I suppose ~ I’ll have some of that"

Come Hennessy day, most of us had bulging pockets courtesy of Pat so were in good punting order when the 2nd race came around. "Look lads", said Rich "it’s Arch Stanton’s race. Shall we all pitch in and have a bet on it just for a laugh?" This seemed a damned fine idea so we emptied our spare cash out and had a decent bet on the beast. It was only as the runners set off at the start that I turned in horror to the others:

Me:"Lads ~ we’ve backed the wrong horse!"<br>Pat (confused): "Whaddya mean?"<br>Me: "We shouldn’t have backed Arch Stanton….."<br>All (getting the joke) "We should have backed the horse NEXT to Arch Stanton!"

Cue much hilarity, followed by searching of paper to find the name of the horse immediately after Arch Stanton on the card. It adds a little to the irony that the horse in question was a weak in the market 13/2 shot called Brave Inca. Ah well…<br>

[graysonscolumn]

Favourite as-yet unused 18-character names of my invention would be:

Ordinarybrownhorse – is what it says on the tin,<br>Isitstanleybaldwin – after a regular pub quiz utterance from my erstwhile mentor in the public library service,<br>Everybladeoftarmac – how the same gentleman always referred to any particularly extensive walk he had gone on.

Jeremy<br>(graysonscolumn)<br>

(Edited by graysonscolumn at 10:58 am on Feb. 2, 2007)

Jeremy Grayson. Son of immigrant. Adoptive father of two. Metadata librarian. Freelance point-to-point / horse racing writer, analyst and commentator wonk. Loves music, buses, cats, the BBC Micro, ale. Advocate of CBT, PACE and therapeutic parenting. Aspergers.

[Author]

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