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  • This topic has 31 replies, 14 voices, and was last updated 15 years ago by rory.
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  • #4063
    Alchemist
    Participant
    • Total Posts 232

    Hi all,<br>I have just been dumped by my long term girlfriend (3 years, and 2 years as best friend prior to dating) and to say that i’m gutted is a serious understatement! (sob)

    I was even going to ask her to marry me at Christmas! Seems like one half of me has been chopped off! (sob)

    Enough of the dreary stuff!  Thought I would ask if anyone from the good old racing forum had any ideas on stuff I can do (other than Cheltenham on Wednesday!) to help me get over this!?

    Yours in desparate anticipation<br>Keith

    #94581
    Meshaheer
    Member
    • Total Posts 486

    Sorry to hear that Alchemist – that’s awful news. I can’t imagine the feeling of being dumped…I’m finding it bad enough trying to cope with rejection in my latest unrequited love saga. :(

    Chelters is a good start though…or trying to find anything that grabs your interest to distract yourself. However, I’d allow yourself room to grieve as trying to block your emotions out totally won’t help you get over it as quickly IMO. Have you got close family/friends to talk to about it? Having a good sob on someone’s shoulder/rant in their face can do the world of good.

    The problem with this sort of thing is that time is the greatest healer, and you won’t be feeling better immediately. The fact it was such a serious relationship makes it worse. In the meantime, let it all out and at the same time try focusing on other things – maybe getting out and meeting new people, doing new activities perhaps?

    Good luck with it though. It will get better in time. :)

    #94584
    Maxilon 5
    Member
    • Total Posts 2432

    Sorry to hear your news, matey. Happened to me several years ago and it’s not nice.

    Three things:

    a) Set a time limit for the drinking stage. I’ve met geezers who got dumped under Thatcher who are still on the pop.  Not a pretty sight.

    b) Get to the gym and pump iron. Makes you feel great.

    c) Find an Internet site – I know a cracker if you want to IM me – and dump all the poison out into cyberworld. Don’t bore your mates with it. They have lower tolerance than you think, believe me.

    Good thing is. My life is 100% better now than ever. I can race, bet, go to matches and go out whenever I want, wherever I want, without someone always holding me back. But you’ll realise that later.;)

    Best of luck to you.

    Cheers

    Max

    PS: Backing winners always helps…but I can’t help you until March:biggrin:

    #94585
    Meshaheer
    Member
    • Total Posts 486

    You can’t half tell the difference between male and female advice. :biggrin:

    Dumped under Thatcher – even that made me chuckle!

    #94587
    stevedvg
    Member
    • Total Posts 1137

    Keith

    It’s a tough situation to be in.

    I’ve had it happen to me a couple of times (though shorter relationships) and, the truth is, even if I thought that girl could have been the one, I always met someone better.

    The key was to realise that, if it had been the right girl, it would have worked out.

    Anywa, enough of the theorising, here’s ….

    Steve’s 6 step program to recovery.

    BTW, only go through this program if your relationship is definitely over.

    Step 1: stop drinking. Full stop, no exceptions, end of story.

    Step 2: Get on an exercise program. Go running a few times a week. Go to the gym. Again, no excuses, no exceptions.

    Step 3: Think of all the things your ex used to do that annoyed you, all her faults and failings. Imagine you were together forever and these just got worse and even more annoying.

    Remember all the times you thought she was an idiot or really stupid or a nag or selfish or a pain in the arse. Really feel the feelings you felt at the time. Let those feelings grow and grow until you feel glad you’re free of her.

    Step 4: imgaine your ideal woman and imagine a future with her and being really happy with her forever. Feel how that would feel.

    Step 5: hang out with your mates and do something that’s active and fun. None of the sitting around in the pub, go and watch a football match or play snooker or golf or do something active. You want something that’s sufficiently occupying that you don’t have time to mope about her.

    Step 6: meet another girl and sleep with her.

    Once you’ve gone through these 6 steps, you’re allowed to start drinking again.

    Steve

    #94588
    davidbrady
    Member
    • Total Posts 3901

    Keith

    Commiserations mate. It happens to the best of us (although not Meshaheer, who I now picture as some sort of goddess type figure). I can only reiterate what others have alraedy said. Basically spend more time with your mates and try to go out and immerse yourself in whatever you find interesting. It’s not easy but time will heal eventually. Good luck.

    Some interesting points Steve. One I’m confused about though is how do you get to sleep with another girl when there’s no drink involved!

    #94589
    Zoz
    Member
    • Total Posts 703

    Sorry to hear about that Keith.

    Advice is hard to give as everyone’s different and I’m no use as I’ve never been with someone for three years.

    However I can say this: yes, it hurts like hell now, but soon it won’t hurt quite as much, and before long you’ll wonder why you were so bothered in the first place.

    Go out, have fun, catch up with old friends, go to Cheltenham (or anywhere else with racing for that matter), make the most of it and the "it still hurts" period will seem shorter.

    And then remember, NEVER EVER EVER DATE SOMEONE YOU’RE FRIENDS WITH (sorry, rant over). :biggrin:

    Good luck to you mate, and like Steve said, if it was meant to be, it would have worked out.

    There’s something quite refreshingly, if basically, romantic about some of the male replies on this. Maybe there’s hope for you lot yet!

    #94592
    Maxilon 5
    Member
    • Total Posts 2432

    LOL, LOL

    I take it a group hug is out of the question then, Grasshopper.:biggrin:

    #94593
    Alchemist
    Participant
    • Total Posts 232

    She sent me a txt this morning:<br>[size=1]"I really love you and i miss you so much! Why did this happen to us! I don’t know how i’m gonna work today"[/size]

    Hows that for making me feel worse!  

    But thanks for the advice each! Am trying to put it to some use, going racing tomorrow then for a game of snooker with a mate on the night. Also left a txt message with an old mate of mine about a game of pool (used to play in the local league).<br>Keith<br>ps – giving up a drink will be hard Steve, but I’ll give it a go!

    (Edited by Alchemist at 9:08 pm on Oct. 25, 2005)

    #94596
    graysonscolumn
    Participant
    • Total Posts 6939

    Quote: from Meshaheer on 11:57 pm on Oct. 24, 2005Dumped under Thatcher – even that made me chuckle!<br>

    <br>I was dumped on under Thatcher – is that the same sort of thing?

    The patron saint of lower-grade fare. A gently critical friend of point-to-pointing. Kindness is a political act.

    #94597
    Alchemist
    Participant
    • Total Posts 232

    No, its not the same at all Jeremy. I dont feel that bad! :biggrin:

    #94600
    Karly Flight
    Member
    • Total Posts 42

    Oh dear, I’m seriously considering dumping my boyfriend of over 3 years.

    You’re not making me feel any better about it….

    #94601
    davidbrady
    Member
    • Total Posts 3901

    You could dump him and hook up with Alchemist and then everybody’s happy.

    And Alchemist could start drinking again!:biggrin:

    #94602
    lollys mate
    Member
    • Total Posts 625

    Alchemist.

    Get over it, shes gone, move on and deal with it. Dont turn to drink. It will only make it worse.

    P.s. And tell her to stop texting cos you have another new relationship.

    Come on man!

    Deal with it!!!!

    #94603
    lollys mate
    Member
    • Total Posts 625

    Just admit it Razzie.

    You love me!:biggrin: <br>You know you do!!

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