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I try to only talk about horse racing with fellow racing fans, because conversations with the uninitiated can be quite frustrating and repetitive. Do these things get on your nerves too and are there more?
– Any mention of the ‘My Lovely Horse’ song from Father Ted.
– “It’s the glue factory for him I think” after their 50p each-way in the Grand National fails to cop.
– Humming or whistling of the William Tell Overture when racing is on TV.
– “It’s so cruel how the jockeys beat the horses with those whips”
– Social media aftertiming about having backed the Grand National winner
a.) Being asked when the flat season starts and having to explain that it actually never stops.
b.) Trying to get through to the ignorant that banning the Grand National won’t stop horses being killed and that on average one horse dies every two days on British racecourses. This leads to the “let’s ban jump racing” comment. So what about the horses that are injured and subsequently put down on the flat – not such a rare event as people tend to assume.
At this point any interest in the discussion has usually evaporated… until next April.c.) When is Desert Orchid running again?
d.) Did you win anything? Then trying to reason with them that it is perfectly possible to enjoy horse racing without having a bet.
So yes, I also avoid talking about racing with friends, relatives and work colleagues who aren’t really interested.
....and you've got to look a long way back for anything else.
Who is Desert Orchid?
You are probably confusing him with Desert Orchard, who won the Gold Cup in 1989.
Amazingly, when I ran a racing competition for a free bet, about 20% of my punters put Dessie in as “Desert Orchard” on the answers slip.
In my experience, some of the regular punters used to ask as many silly questions as the once-a-year, or non-racing people.
Some examples:-
On The Rapid Lad Handicap at Beverley, “They named the horse after the race you know”
On the racing Mare Golden Flats, “You know, he’s running better now that he’s in Foal”
On the Kentucky Derby, “Have you got a list of the betting for the Hentucky Derby?, no not Kentucky son, Hentucky, it’s part of America you know”
On the European Football Championship, “Here Davy, how come Georgia are in this European Championship when it’s a State in America?”
On multiple bets, “Davy, do you know how many horses there are in a five-horse Yankee bet?”
In general confusion, “Which number is horse number five carrying?”
Trying to settle a dispute, “Here Davy, which has been going longer, The Grand National, or Easter?”
On potential profit, “Mr Bookie, if I put four horses in a yankee and they all win, will I be guaranteed to get more money back than I put on?”
Bizarrely, “Would you accept a Halibut as part payment for my Poll Tax this month?”
Thanks for the good crack. Time for me to move on. Be lucky.
Couple of things I have heard in the betting shop in the last 2 weeks who really should know better. One from the staff on my Djakadam bet
“He really shouldn’t have been in the race. I think if had been from a bigger stable like Henderson or Nicholls he wouldn’t have been in the Gold Cup”. How much bigger stable do you want?
A regular punter talking to his mate “That McCoy was on the Morning Line today. He didn’t say so much about his rides. Mind you he’ll be just going through the motions now he’s nearly retired. he won’t be much bothered anymore.” Yeah right
A few years ago a mate of mine, knowing that I backed Borderlescott every time he ran asked “Why isn’t Borderlescott in the Derby”? I had to explain that Borderlescott did not qualify been about 7 or 8 years old and a gelding and also that the trip would be a tad long for him as he usually struggled to get 6 furlongs never mind 12.
Whist watching the National “Where’s Shergar” to which I explain that even if around and at his best he wouldn’t be running in the National.
A mate of mine saying a few years ago that he must know more than me because he backed the National winner, Silver Birch. I asked him why he had backed him to which he shrugged his shoulders (probably liked the name but didn’t want to admit it). I’d already told him before the race that in my opinion the horse had a chance due to winning over the Grand National fences before, but had not backed him myself. I knew he wasn’t listening to my reasoning. He just wanted to hear that he had a chance. But come to think of it I should have backed on the name alone.
The calls of the sport is cruel, especially around National time. I usually ask what would happen to all the Racehorses if the sport was banned with immediate effect.
“Well they could just live in a field”.
“And who would keep these animals”
“Those owners who own them now should”
“So these horses who have been bred to race should just be left in a field to relax and watch the world go by. I’m sure these horses will be quite content plodding around a field eating grass all day. Have you any idea how temperamental some of these horses would become without regular training and racing
I tend to take over the staff lounge tv on Saturday afternoons during my break, and the comment is either:
“I didn’t know you liked racing Gill?” said with a puzzled grimace
“Which one’s going to win then?”
“Have you had a bet?”
Or
“I don’t like the way they hit those poor horses”.I know none of those are particularly interesting, but I’ve been there 25 years and the comments rarely vary. I did work with a manager once who used to bet daily and knew WAY more than me, and I’d feel very inadequate when he’d discuss all the form etc. with me.
I'd like to live in a place where they cordon off swans...I have worked in betting shops so I have heard some utter rubbish talked by folk that should know better but one of the best was “Why don’t you get more back on an each way bet if it finishes second rather than third?”
Also I get questions like why don’t they start jumps races with stalls?
Why don’t they all carry the same weight? That isn’t fair !
And why does a trainer run more than one horse in a race?
I can think of loads more but I won’t bore you with them all.Soon be the annual hypocrisy around the Grand National where people will say “I think it’s cruel when they whip them…too many horses…etc” followed by “well, what’s going to win then”?!
How about ‘The C4 team has once again come up with a thrilling and innovative piece of television that creates a colourful and near epic fantasy to depict and convey the very spirit and essence of what the Crabbie’s Grand National Festival is all about’?
“You will never beat the bookie!”
I've stumbled on the side of twelve misty mountains
I've walked and I crawled on six crooked highwaysI get the same as most people judging by the posts on here. What also annoys me are the once / twice a year bulls**t “experts”.
Recently one guy told me ” I cleaned up today on them Walsh horses, (Cheltenham Tuesday). The only one that let me down was the one who fell at the last (annie Power). I won £4,500 couldn’t believe that one Walsh had at 8/1″.
Neither could I, couldn’t find it either. That quote came from a guy who is working part time through an agency “just to pay my holiday off”.
What annoys me even more is some people actually believe him.
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