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A dilemma about loyalty, modern football and modern kids.

Home Forums Lounge A dilemma about loyalty, modern football and modern kids.

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  • #145689
    Avatar photoDrone
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    Can I just respond to the august Drone? While it is tribalism (I can’t deny it) it’s more about tradition and the way it was; Dads and sons, 2d at the gate, the local lad in the number nine scoring a hat trick, rain lashing down, fish and chips on the way home, Dr Who on the box.

    August moi? :)

    For what it’s worth Max, despite the game interesting me not one jot nowadays, I too don’t like the ramapant commercialism of football, or sport in general for that matter. Fond childhood memories of standing on the open Kop (9d rising to 1/= circa 1970) in the rain at Hillsborough with my dad and lil’ brother and a much-needed warming cup of Bovril at half-time; the unique three-sided Bramall Lane and adjacent cricket pitch; a Mars bar from the sweet stall on Leppings Lane enjoyed on the smoke-filled top deck of the bus home amidst always seemingly cheery fellow fans; the long wait for Match of the Day on the rare occasions either Wednesday or United featured, so the three of us could relive the magic moments again.

    Trouble is, isn’t it all really just another manifestation of those blue remembered hills: the carefree, simple days of youth viewed through those rose-tinted specs as belonging to a less vicious/avaricious world…but only because we were happy then.

    Jumpers for goalposts, enduring image

    #145712
    Avatar photoMaxilon 5
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    • Total Posts 2432

    Mrs Mare, I’ll get a box of Roses – that’ll combine the two and save me a few quid!! :D

    Trouble is, isn’t it all really just another manifestation of those blue remembered hills: the carefree, simple days of youth viewed through those rose-tinted specs as belonging to a less vicious/avaricious world…but only because we were happy then.

    Drone, you’re right on the button with this. Life has improved in many ways and we sometimes forget that. But not football, sadly. It’s up to my lad to find that out for himself.

    #145730
    Avatar photochloed
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    • Total Posts 433

    maxilon , I know how you feel loyalty wise, my son had a bet when liverpool beat west ham in the cup, he had liverpool to beat my team on penalties going on to some boxing bet that night. I was in tears as the whistle blew, but he tried to comfort me by saying look mum first leg of my double has won, tears soon turned to anger, i could not believe he had been so disloyal to my team, needless to say he is a man u supporter.

    #145764
    moehat
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    • Total Posts 9063

    realised how much more this is about than a football match; it’s wanting our children to appreciate things other than the stuff that modern life throws at them – however, when he’s older he’ll remember going to the football with his dad much more than this trip with his mates….I’m assuming that you’ve read Fever Pitch.

    #145835
    Avatar photosberry
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    • Total Posts 1800

    i was just thinking back to when i was that age – i would have been more than happy with a new red and white woolly hat and an apology – i guess these days with inflation it is an x-box

    problem is max, if he’s clever and you’ve been teaching him about returns on investments he might think that getting to go to the theatre of silence after all and getting the x-box and chocs/flowers for mum as a bonus, you might start getting these calls on a regular basis

    #145996
    Avatar photoMaxilon 5
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    • Total Posts 2432

    Simon, you’re such a cynic! :D (But point taken).

    Chloe, that’s not a nice tale and you have my sympathies. I hope you told him in no uncertain terms how you felt.

    Moe, he’s actually been invited to see Man Utd at Pride Park, not Old Trafford. His friends are all Derby fans and he told me an interesting tale at the match yesterday. He goes to school in a town just outside Derby and all his friends support the Rams. He said all this was about far more than football; it was about mates and school. His being invited meant a lot to him in terms of social interaction. I forgot how important that is to a young lad. So, he can go with my blessing.

    Thanks everyone. 8)

    #146064
    moehat
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    • Total Posts 9063

    Glad to heat all that, Max – in our strange fragmented family my son supports Derby, his dad isn’t even remotely interested in football, I support Derby, because they’re my local team, my partner supports Newcastle [we spend a lot of time in Northumberland], Nottingham Forest and Chesterfield. I also have loyalties to Wolves [my dad’s team, so wish I’d had his scarf when he died] West Brom, because I supported them as a teenager when I lived in Birmingham at the time when they won the cup. My partner also takes an interest in the Rams for our sake. There’s a bond as well as rivalry with us and Forest because of our link with Cloughie.Derby used to have quite a good record with playing against Man Utd. I have a friend who went out to Ethiopia to set up a school there and I used to sent her reports about the Rams; she got the kids at her school to support them as well…Pride Park is a really good stadium, When Alan Shearer played there once he said he’d played one of the worst matches ever on one of the best pitches. I went to see Newcastle play Arsenal, purely because I wanted to see Thierry Henri [y?] play [he was rubbish that day]; I would love to see Ronaldo play…..have you seen that wonderful Harry Enfied sketch where a modern team plays an old fashioned one, and they all run around smoking Park Drive and drinking cups of tea? sorry, I’m going off at tangents again..what I mean is, as I said, football is a lot more than a game…..

    #146074
    Ugly Mare
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    • Total Posts 1294

    Max you did the right thing 8)

    Mrs Mare, I’ll get a box of Roses – that’ll combine the two and save me a few quid!! :D

    :lol: …so did she get the Roses? :mrgreen:

    #146275
    Avatar photoMaxilon 5
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    • Total Posts 2432

    Mrs Mare, I brought my ex a pot of Helloborus and a crimson Polyanthus from my local City Farm.

    And instead of the traditional chocolate accompaniment, , my lad and I presented her with a trendy bag of pesticide-free green salad – which included home grown pak choi, leaves of chard so stiff and crisp they stood up by themselves, a bunch of fresh cut spinach and a fragrant mix of salad leaves and onions. Much healthier than Dairy Milk, I assured her. :D

    Moe, I’ve been to Pride Park for conferences on many occasions. A beautiful ground.

    I must have been to ninety odd grounds over the years, I’ve seen Hoddle, Marsh, Currie, Hudson and Worthington in their pomp. In the flesh. Importantly, I’ve done this by following “Barnstoneworth” rather than experiencing it vicariously on the TV.

    (I remember watching that amazing Worthington goal on old “Star Soccer”. Do you remember the goal, Moe? The free kick for Bolton, where, with his back to the opposition wall, he plays keepy-up, lobs the ball up over his head, wrong-foots five defenders, runs round the stunned wall while the ball is still in the air and whacks it into the net. I was in heaven for days after. Ronaldo? Sccccchmonaldo…).

    I’d love to be able to see the top players, Moe, like you. I’d be mad not to. I love football. Let’s face it, I spend every saturday watching mind-bending drivel – and on top of two visits a week to Southwell, it’s a wonder I’m not on the Prozac cocktails – but I want to see these top players with my club. And I want my son to do it too. Football has shifted so emphatically in favour of the moneymen and the “Big Four”; (it used to be six).

    It makes me sad – and qangry (hence my reaction Thursday). I told my lad all this last night, but when I turned round he was fast asleep.

    :D

    #146330
    tooting
    Member
    • Total Posts 379

    Max,

    actually pretty much the same thing happened to me when I was 10.

    I was a youngster who played and dreamt football every waking moment. My Dad was long gone, not even a Sunday father. I was about the best player in the playground and began supporting Liverpool (As Kwang says above) because they were the best.

    My Dad supported Fulham. Who at that time were a long way down the Shoot league ladders on my bedroom wall. He materialised from abroad around this time. And was apoplectic to learn I wasn’t a cottager. He dragged me there for a match. It was great.

    I remember being in the playground shortly afterwards tentatively trying out my new allegiance. It didn’t last long. I got the piss ripped out of me (a) for switching clubs and (b) for switching to such a rubbish club. It made much more sense to support Liverpool. You got to see them on Match of the Day, got to try to emulate their stars and, importantly to a kid, they won all the time.

    My Dad disappeared again – promised me tickets for the FA Cup Final, then didn’t show, I didn’t see him for 6 years and fell in love with Kenny Dalglish instead.

    After University I went to live with him in the States and as I matured gained a better sense of what Fulham meant to him, and of what supporting a small, frankly useless club is all about, and how what I had been doing was following a club, not supporting it.

    I came home and shortly after my Dad died – aged 48. His 3rd wife flew back from the States with his ashes and his family scattered them at Craven Cottage. Not long afterwards I moved to Tooting. And started going to Fulham. My feet seemed to find their way there of their own accord. It was a way of communing with him. And it felt good to finally be supporting a club. Fulham fitted my soul far better than Liverpool ever could.

    On the whole though I’m glad I didn’t support them when I was young. When you’re that age and full of hope and optimism I think you really are better off aiming higher. I think you probably need to be older and wearier and wiser to fully appreciate the charms of an underachieving club.

    So, there’s plenty of ways of following football. The stereotypical "one club" from birth was never the whole story and certainly isn’t now. I’d leave him find his own way home.

    #146339
    Ugly Mare
    Member
    • Total Posts 1294

    a touching story, tooting …..

    Max,
    what a lovely gesture – a pair of pot plants and a bag o’ salad…lol…and well within budget,…what £3.50?…will we be seeing you on Ready Steady Cook?..

    good on you :D

    #146386
    Avatar photoMaxilon 5
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    • Total Posts 2432

    Tooting, a lovely tale. Thanks for taking the time to write it; the message is noted.

    Can I just say at this point that I’m a fairly modern and supportive dad who lets my lad get on with becoming the person he is meant to be. Except when it comes to football.

    I’m a bit bonkers with that,Tooting – perhaps too much so.

    Mrs Mare, I wondered why the ex looked distinctly underwhelmed with my gifts! Looks like I should have gone on that “Understanding Women” course down at my local man’s group after all. :D

    #146388
    % MAN
    Participant
    • Total Posts 5104

    Looks like I should have gone on that “Understanding Women” course down at my local man’s group after all. :D

    I don’t think there will ever be a course long enough to cover that one :lol:

    #146419
    Ugly Mare
    Member
    • Total Posts 1294

    :lol: :lol: ..Paul….

    poor old Max, he does make me laugh..he’s alright 8) and I reckon his son loves him to bits.

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