right, so who’s Mr Average then?

[Ugly Mare]

Apparently, you think you’re a good driver, you own a house worth between £190,000 and £210,000 and possess a copy of Queen’s Greatest Hits.
You are 5ft 9½in tall, 40 years old and have a 37in waist. You have 2 children and your wife is a size 16…..oh and you get sex 6 times a month…whey hey…..aren’t you the lucky one….lol

is that you?….it’s the ‘Queen’s Greatest Hits’ that bothers me a little…
and for the rest, well you have my sympathies

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/11/12/naverage112.xml

[% MAN]

Of the nine in the list I admit to three, am over on three and under on three

– so does that average out as being average?

I will admit to being a good driver – you can guess the rest!!

[graysonscolumn]

Let’s look at the evidence…

you think you’re a good driver
16 years without incident. Slow and safe rather than especially good.

you own a house worth between £190,000 and £210,000
Pfffffffh. Still renting rising 33! It’s called Living In The South. Mine and Mrs Column’s income goes nowhere here, but would buy us all of Rochdale and still leave us enough change for a fish supper.

and possess a copy of Queen’s Greatest Hits.
Only qualify for this via the missus.

You are 5ft 9½in tall,
Brucie says "higher!"

40 years old
God it feels it.

and have a 37in waist.
32, or 28 with recourse to corsetry.

You have 2 children
Um, where? Whose? Who has been talking?!?!?

and your wife is a size 16
Not quite. Can we have two sizes either way?

…..oh and you get sex 6 times a month…whey hey…..aren’t you the lucky one….lol
It’s not unpleasant, granted.

gc

Adoptive father of two. The patron saint of lower-grade fare. A gently critical friend of point-to-pointing. Kindness is a political act.

[Kingston Town]

OK Let’s answer on behalf of my Mr Average…..

you think you’re a good driver
He does but he also goes on in adfinitum about hating cars and their pollution effect – but no accidents and he does drive okey dokey and on both sides of the road!

you own a house worth between £190,000 and £210,000
Well he does that and not one but two.

and possess a copy of Queen’s Greatest Hits.
I’m afraid so

You are 5ft 9½in tall,
1.5 inches too short

40 years old
Hmmmmmmmm kinda

and have a 37in waist.
overs but not by much

You have 2 children
Only 1 that I know about

and your wife is a size 16
Not wife and NOT size 16…. wayyyyy overs

…..oh and you get sex 6 times a month…whey hey…..aren’t you the lucky one….lol
Well that would be telling

[Ugly Mare]

KT…

gc – I would never have had you down as anything like a
Mr Average – looks like I got that one right

[Andrew Hughes]

You think you’re a good driver
I did but then I kept receiving little letters from the West Midlands Constabulary telling me that I wasn’t and there’s only so much rejection a chap can take

You own a house worth between £190,000 and £210,000
Not even if I stole a £50,000 diamond and hid it in the back bedroom

And posess a copy of Queen’s Greatest Hits
I have been on the receiving end of some insults in my time, but that just about takes the digestive tin. Queen? Can’t abide the stuff. As far as dodgy music goes, I will confess to Mrs Aranalde’s stash of Rod Stewart but I retain the right to remain silent on the Bryan Adams situation.

You are five foot, nine and a half inches tall
Have we become a nation of short-arses? I took the sensible precaution of ensuring that I reached a sensible but not egregious six foot upon my twenty-first birthday and have had the good sense to remain that height ever since.

Forty years old
The Beatles had long been defunct before I was born and I have never enjoyed the light hearted ‘banter’ of Top Gear so this clearly doesn’t apply to me.

And have a thirty-seven inch waist
How dare you!

You have two children
I have one child who causes the havoc of two children.

Your wife is size sixteen
This is not true. Mrs Aranalde is a svelte size twelve, a development that has nothing to do with the ‘hippopotamus’ incident at the municipal baths.

You have sex six times a month
Has the nation gone sex mad? Are we a civilisation of rutting pygmies? Six? I take the Daily Mail twice a week and drink a lot of tea. That is more than enough for me.

[Ugly Mare]

lol… very good……nothing average about you either.

I sympathise over your wife’s taste in music..

[Kingston Town]

Aranalde

[Burroughhill]

I’m not even going to begin to compete with the above! Brilliant from all of you, you’ve had me spluttering into my morning tea

[aaronizneez]

You think you’re a good driver
I am, I passed second time which means I’ve learnt from my mistakes

You own a house worth between £190,000 and £210,000
Uh no. I own a house thats currently on the market around 150000, possible dicsount for any TRF members

And posess a copy of Queen’s Greatest Hits
Not guilty.

You are five foot, nine and a half inches tall
On tiptoes yes

Forty years old
As of July this year

And have a thirty-seven inch waist
I have a thirty fourish inch waist which I have had since my early twenties and still have the trousers to prove it

You have two children
Yes, my son and my wife

Your wife is size sixteen
I’m afraid to ask

You have sex six times a month
Which month would that be ?

[madman marz]

"Ugly Mare" wrote:

Good Driver,
Better than the wife, having said that not long after getting my licence back, was caught slightly over the limit while on holiday in Killarney. (at least I admitted it).

2 Children,
Three, 2 teens and a 10 yr old, apart from taking advantage of my wallet after I have had a few drinks, their a loveable enough bunch (well as teens go, I suppose).

House worth £190/210,
With the ridiculous price of houses in the Rep of Ireland and been in commuter belt territory the house is probably worth about 350.000 Euro, Personaly I wouldn’t pay 50.000 Euro for it.

Queens Greatest,
Er know but do have Under Pressure on my David Bowie Greatest (great track)

5 ft 9 1/2"
5 ft 11 1/2"

40 yr old,
Just turned 41 Sept 05. Have to admit I look a youthful 35

37" Waist,
34" just, can’t buy 35" trousers.

Wife’s waist,
Claims to be 12", but have witnessed her struggling on her back on top of the bed fighting with the zipper.

Sex 6 times a month,
All those anti depressents has killed my libido.

[Ugly Mare]

lol….looks like madman’s had a hefty tipple….I’d like to make it clear I didn’t write any of that.

..and only 41? my, I had you down as a lot older….I bet you’re a lovable rogue…

aaron….very good

..still waiting for Mr Average

[MikkyMo73]

Apparently, you think you’re a good driver, you own a house worth between £190,000 and £210,000 and possess a copy of Queen’s Greatest Hits.
You are 5ft 9½in tall, 40 years old and have a 37in waist. You have 2 children and your wife is a size 16…..oh and you get sex 6 times a month…whey hey…..aren’t you the lucky one….lol

is that you?….it’s the ‘Queen’s Greatest Hits’ that bothers me a little…
and for the rest, well you have my sympathies

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/11/12/naverage112.xml

Don’t drive.
Don’t own a house.
Don’t possess Queen’s Greatist Hits CD.
I’m not 5ft 91/2 inches tall.
I’m not 40.
I don’t have a waiste of 37 inches.
I do have 2 children..
I don’t have a wife.
Yes to the last one if it means at least, but no if it’s exactly

So one, possible two out of nine – and I would therefore class myself as distinctly below average .

Mike

[graysonscolumn]

..still waiting for Mr Average

I wouldn’t bother. After reading the resumes of all the fine specimens above, he will only disappoint.

gc

Adoptive father of two. The patron saint of lower-grade fare. A gently critical friend of point-to-pointing. Kindness is a political act.

[davidbrady]

Some lucky barstewart is getting it 12 times a month to make up for me!!

[Pompete]

Some lucky barstewart is getting it 12 times a month to make up for me!!

Only till the missus find out db

[Author]

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