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In a feeble attempt to cash in on the burgeoning ‘Cheltenham Preview’ market, I am running my own event on Saturday 17th March at 7.30pm at the Sun In Splendour, Leamington Spa (bring your own bouncer).
The panel will consist of Bubbles (off Big Brother three), at least one member of Steps, a bloke with the word ‘hate’ tattooed on his knuckles, my mate Terry (who is a fire prevention officer) and Paul Nicholls. Apparently the last-named has yet to be confirmed.
It’s four quid, half price for TRF members. The beer’s Carling, with Liebfraumilch for the ladies. A full range of salt-based snacks is available. No ******* kids.
Any smart-arse questions and you’ll be outside.
See you there.
Mike<br>
Mike<br>just a few questions before I book two tickets.
In the staff rooms of the big Marks and Spencers shop in Brighton they have 3 types of toilets, male, female and pre-ops (totally true).<br> Can you confirm your toilet arrangements?
Will you have name badge on as I dont want to mix you up with Bubbles or the nice boy from Steps!
Are the ‘salt based snacks’ provided by the ‘eleven o’clockers’ or do they come in a little bag?
Surely the Sun in Splendour isn’t still open???:o
I’ve never had the pleasure of visiting personally but it’s reputation precedes it!
Mine’s a Domestos and Coke.
I’m not going if that Nicholls bloke is going. He knows nuttin. He reckoned Nozic wouldn’t be competitive yesterday so it’s a waste of time listening to him.
Also I’m Irish so seen as it’s Paddy’s Day, I want another quid off the entrance fee.
Is it a black tie do?
More of a black eye do.
Can you confirm your toilet arrangements?
Pervert.
<br>Mike
Mike, fancy a curry afterwards?
<br>Not from a Leamington establishment. You’ll be up all night spray-painting the porcelain.
Mike
You’ll be alright in the Five Rivers, they shut early though. Don’t go in any of the places further down the road towards Chez Rama though, as Mike says you’ll think you’ve caught dysentery. I didn’t know there was anyone from the Holy Land on here, though I’ve not had the pleasure of living there for 12 years I still go back quite a bit.
Isn’t Stewart Machin still a resident of Leamington Spa or the environs? I’m sure you could baggsie him for the occasion.
Mine’s a pint of Sarah Hughes Dark Ruby (the very, very best pint of mild you will ever drink), and some authentic Black Country pork scratchings freshly hewn from the the Tipton scratching mines and served in a clumsily-knotted plastic bag. Oh yes.
Jeremy<br>(graysonscolumn)<br>
Jeremy Grayson. Son of immigrant. Adoptive father of two. Metadata librarian. Freelance point-to-point / horse racing writer, analyst and commentator wonk. Loves music, buses, cats, the BBC Micro, ale. Advocate of CBT, PACE and therapeutic parenting. Aspergers.
Jeremy, I’m afraid you may be disappointed. The scratchings harvest was a poor one last year, something to do with the size of the pigs. The locals called it the ‘year of the piglet’. There were riots in Gornal and Sedgley and many of those delightful stone pigs that people perch on their garden walls were smashed to pieces.
Fortunately, it was a vintage year for faggots.
Oh dear, Aranalde, sorry to hear it. I leave the Midlands for a year and all hell breaks loose! Ah well, I suppose it explains the paucity of scratchings down here, and the stellar prices where they can be found at all.
Spokily enough, it’s faggots for dinner at Chez Column this evening.
Jeremy<br>(graysonscolumn)<br>
Jeremy Grayson. Son of immigrant. Adoptive father of two. Metadata librarian. Freelance point-to-point / horse racing writer, analyst and commentator wonk. Loves music, buses, cats, the BBC Micro, ale. Advocate of CBT, PACE and therapeutic parenting. Aspergers.
This is truly close to my heart (as, indeed, is a large amount of cholesterol):
http://www.porkscratchingworld.com
Mike
Proof that there is just too much cyberspace to fill. Interesting line in literary criticism too – ‘I enjoyed the latest Martin Amis, but to my mind, there weren’t enough pork scratchings in it’.
Jeremy, I trust the faggots were accompanied by a pile of pays, possibly mushy.
Quote: from Aranalde on 5:56 pm on Mar. 6, 2007[br]<br>Jeremy, I trust the faggots were accompanied by a pile of pays, possibly mushy.
<br>Nope, lemon and coriander couscous. We’re middle class tossers, don’t you know. :biggrin:
gc<br>
Jeremy Grayson. Son of immigrant. Adoptive father of two. Metadata librarian. Freelance point-to-point / horse racing writer, analyst and commentator wonk. Loves music, buses, cats, the BBC Micro, ale. Advocate of CBT, PACE and therapeutic parenting. Aspergers.
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