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What name do you go under?I’m not fussy Joni,although i always liked Kylie,ill go under any female so long as she’s between 25 and 26,Blonde and is a fan of
Albertas Run
!
Oh you mean my pseudonym,well if its a bloke call me ermMr Wilson the Armchair Jockey
!
My Xmas advert says ‘Its about giving not receiving’! 
One of these days you’re going to come across something like that old Bo Selecta face woman in Shameless. She will swing you about like a freaking tennis raquet. Your old BHS shirt will be losely trapped on the blinds, and your y-fronts hanging from her ‘made in China’ lamp. After she eats the fruit you thought was safely stuffed down your breeks, she will roar like a lion and have you walking with a limp for days on end. Upon your leaving her crumby old tenement house, you hobble around towards the direction of ladbrokes with your ‘hard’ earned £100, which you then predicatably place on another losing bet. As you make your exit from the bookies, you then devise a plan in your mind to quickly go home and tell people on here how you pumped a 21 year old Russian and won a big In play race with a 100 free bet you forgot you had. As you turn the corner towards your house whilst you kick a crushed Pepsi can, a certain D-reg Ford escort with tinted windows and a ‘i love the News of the World’ sticker on the back outside window pulls slowly alongside you, and old Bo selecta bitch and her old slaggy mates with perms, fake leopard skin clothes, vodka breaths and cheap make up shout sexist remarks at you amongst other snide comments, before blowing kisses and speeding off into the distance whilst ‘wild thing’ by the troggs blares from their car stereo. The wee old fat one in the back with all the gold chains and sovereign rings gives you the middle finger and growls at you, so you then walk towards your front gate and say to yourself "that Russian just waved at me, i better not tell Hayley".
One of these days you’re going to come across something like that old Bo Selecta face woman in Shameless. She will swing you about like a freaking tennis raquet.
Sh*t it was YOU! I remember the Big ‘S’ on her girdle,the GOLD pillow cases,the GOLD teaspoon from Skegness,the ‘GOLDFINGER’ DVD and of course the GOLD framed photo of….. ‘GOLDIKOVA’! It was a pleasure to service the great mare!I really hope these are just stories and not true.
Going 80mph around country roads with children on the back seat, on a rush to see a race on tv.
Prostitution to get money for a bet.
If (big IF) true, for your own benifit, people should ask themselves if they’ve got a gambling problem?
Value Is Everything GingerBehave, and let the lads enjoy themselves, if you did not laugh at those you have a problem yourself
Can’t beat a bit of fun this time of year mate I really hope these are just stories and not true.
Ginger,you have lead a sheltered life but then again you were born with hair the colour of Satans ring!
The only qualifications i left school with were a PHD in Sex,Horseracing and Wine,i later achieved a City and Guilds in Photography.My 1st job as a 15yo was a Window cleaning round i created myself by knocking on doors,i didn’t realise at the time i suffer from bloody Vertigo,30 yrs on i still use ladders and suffer the same effects! I learnt more about Women doing that job for 2 years than i have in a lifetime.For no apparent reason instead of paying me 50p for doing upstairs,i used to get these 40yo’s who would ply me with rum in my coffee and do me upstairs! You ever tried climbing up and down a bloody ladder when yo knees are still tremblin? From Window cleaning i turned my hand to being an Ice Cream man.As a 17yo i never realised that Ice Cream men had their ‘Patches’ and you respected that,of course me havin ‘Anarchy in the UK’ as my ring tone (only Jokin) would go wherever i felt like it,i remember one ocassion taking a girl for a ride out in the Van,we ended up in the woods at Carsington Water where she enjoyed a ’99’,whilst she was enjoying the purple end of my ‘Zoom’ and having a ‘Fab’ time deep in the forest a bunch of bloody walkers came along thinking we were there to sell refreshments,i told them to P*ss off! God knows why they thought an Ice Cream Van in the middle of the woods was there for any other reason than Sex!I remember this Italian guy who had most of the estates covered,his Ice Cream was proper hand made stuff where as mine was Cream poured through a freezer and machined out in a Mr Whippy fashion anyway i knew his calls like clockwork so i thought i’d sneak in 5 minutes before he arrived and pinch all the school kids trade,the kids loved it as i was chuckin 100’s and 1000’s red juice and flakes into every thing any way he saw this so he tried to shoot off to the next stop before i had finished there,it was like a staggered effect until we both joined the country lane to the next village,it was like sitting on a Grand Prix grid waiting for the green light as we both knew that the kids would be waiting at the next stop about 2 miles away,off we sped he got a flyer in his Van whilst my bag of Sh*t struggled to keep up,i saw my chance to overtake him and went for it my van was wallowing all over the road and the cream liquid was swishing everywhere all over the inside windows and floor of my van,we went round this slight bend and the Cream was running out the bottom of the doors onto the main road,i was leaving a massive trail of yellow down this road and Gianfranco was not for letting me in,i eventually lost control and ploughed straight through a hedge into a farmers field,the van was a mess both inside and out.Funnily enough i remember vividly a couple of kids coming up and asking for an ice cream,i of course obliged but as i pulled the lever to try and create the famous swirl all i remember was an explosion of ice cream going everywhere the kids got the biggest ice creams ever.I decided to try something else after that!I really hope these are just stories and not true.
My 1st job as a 15yo was a Window cleaning round i created myself by knocking on doors,i didn’t realise at the time i suffer from bloody Vertigo,30 yrs on i still use ladders and suffer the same effects!
I learnt more about Women doing that job for 2 years than i have in a lifetime.For no apparent reason instead of paying me 50p for doing upstairs,i used to get these 40yo’s who would ply me with rum in my coffee and do me upstairs! You ever tried climbing up and down a bloody ladder when yo knees are still tremblin? Ginger you must have seen Gord off the tv……..?
http://i40.tinypic.com/htb3lw.jpg
Gaelic Warrior Gold Cup Winner 2026
Ginger you must have seen Gord off the tv……..?
http://i40.tinypic.com/htb3lw.jpg
Nath,i sometimes get the feeling Ginger would get a ‘touch on’ eating a Creme Egg!
http://i42.tinypic.com/1zoxjeb.jpg
It was worth £200 ‘Goldi’,the only thing she kept on was those glasses,she reckoned the 10x bifocal power was enough to spot my Lovelength!
Ginge thats another word for your ‘Bobbyjoe’ mate! Back to business,just had a word with TAPK and he agrees that
Medermit
has Ryanair written all over him,he says he’s just taken the 100’s about the Gold Cup too on the machine for a couple of quid.Having watched the replay of Saturdays race from several angles i do believe Medermit was an unlucky loser and if the field for this seasons Ryanair turned up now i would imagine 8/1 would be offered about his chances,he stayed on very well as did ‘Imperial Commander’ before winning both The Ryanair and Gold Cup,this fellow could easily be a Gold Cup horse too! 2013 hopefully.
Medermit
£100 e/w 20/1 Betfred, Ryanair,Cheltenham.
£7800
Back to business,just had a word with TAPK and he agrees that
Medermit
has Ryanair written all over him,he says he’s just taken the 100’s about the Gold Cup too on the machine for a couple of quid.Having watched the replay of Saturdays race from several angles i do believe Medermit was an unlucky loser and if the field for this seasons Ryanair turned up now i would imagine 8/1 would be offered about his chances,he stayed on very well as did ‘Imperial Commander’ before winning both The Ryanair and Gold Cup,this fellow could easily be a Gold Cup horse too! 2013 hopefully.
Medermit
£100 e/w 20/1 Betfred, Ryanair,Cheltenham.
Wasn’t ‘Oh So Sharp’ supposed to type this ?
Ginger you must have seen Gord off the tv……..?
http://i40.tinypic.com/htb3lw.jpg
I have indeed seen the film Nathan. Gord’s story put that film in the forefront of my mind, before you even mentioned it. Was it the ex-Emmerdale postmaster in the leading role?
Strangely enough, I seem to recall a couple of others. One about an ice cream salesman and one a male escort.
A mis-spent youth, I was (or should that be am?) an expert with my right hand.
Did you see the film about the carpet fitter?
Great stories guys, made me laugh out loud. Just hope for your sakes at least parts are not true.
Value Is EverythingDid you see the film about the carpet fitter?
Yep i fell asleep after the intro….boom boom!
Gord have you got any horses to win the derby next year at big prices.CAMELOT is my main bet am on at 25/1.But i think with the horses that are a big price now.Like BONFIRE,JUNGLE BEAT,
SWEEDISH SAILOR and IMPERIAL MONARCH.Darkhorse at ballydoyle he is.
any lighty raced horses you like for the big race at Epsom.Gord have you got any horses to win the derby next year at big prices.CAMELOT is my main bet am on at 25/1.But i think with the horses that are a big price now.Like BONFIRE,JUNGLE BEAT,
SWEEDISH SAILOR and IMPERIAL MONARCH.Darkhorse at ballydoyle he is.
any lighty raced horses you like for the big race at Epsom.I just cant see
Camelot
being a Derby horse at all,a Guineas winner Yes!
Bonfire
,i like a lot,the Mill Reef colours though would be the only connection to winning The Derby imo Darren,11/4m yes but these ‘Night Shift’ sorts have more speed than Stamina,was
Azamour
really a 11/2m horse? Not imo.A horse i was waiting to see was called
Biographer
he is owned by the
Masked Marvel
connections and has a Derby entry but again his breeding is questionable.
Imperial Monarch
did catch the eye at the Curragh and is related to 2 Derby winners in Galileo and Slip anchor,he’ll be a leger sort i’m sure,too much stamina for a Derby winner! The horse i like most but isn’t entered in The Derby is the Godolphin French Colt called
Mandaean
,now he has a look about him!
We disagree on CAMELOT if he was a 2000 guineas horse he been in races like the dewhurst or national stakes like the trainer normally does with his 2000 guineas horses.Also montjeau horses are bred to be top class at 1m4 at 3 and not at a 1m but if he does it then be a special horse.
What you think of JUNGLE BEAT a horse that is trained by Gosden and owned by Tabor and the gang same colours as Seville he is.I find him a intresting horse i do.
My only worry of MANDAEAN is the way he wander about could he handle Epsom.And i think SWEEDISH SAILOR will be best chance for Godolphin next year
Can’t beat a bit of fun this time of year mate 
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