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I’m in York too, and it shaked the house for 10 seconds and woke me up. It was so traumatising it turned my hair totally white (but it turned back to normal a second later). And I’m gay now too.
Oh, and I’m blaming it all on Prince Philip and MI5. I’m vowing never to sleep again until the former is dead.
A major earthquake measuring 5.2 on the Richter scale hit Lincolnshire and surrounding areas early in the morning of 27 February 2008. The epicentre was close to Market Rasen. Shock waves were felt as far afield as Newcastle, Yorkshire, London, Cumbria, the Midlands, Norfolk and also parts of Wales. Casualties were seen wandering aimlessly saying "bang out of order", "mental" and "that did my ‘ead in".
The earthquake decimated the area causing in excess of £17.55 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from Ibiza and Corfu were damaged beyond repair. Three preserved areas of historic burned out cars were disturbed. Many thousands of locals were woken before their giros arrived.
The local paper reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered. They are still trying to come to terms with the fact that the damage was caused by something else other than them.
One resident, Tracey Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of four said "It was such a shock, little Chardonnay-Chelsea came running through the cardboard door into my bedroom crying. My hands were shaking so much that I could hardly shoot-up when I was watching Trisha the next morning".
Another local resident known as Macca said the earthquake would not stop him going to work, after all, the burglaries and graffiti would not do themselves.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help with the crisis. Rescue workers are still searching through rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings which include benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Dukes, bone china from Poundstretcher and a number of Argos catalogues. However, they were unable to save any furniture from Crazy George’s.
How can you help? This appeal hopes to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in the disaster. Clothing is most sought after. Most needed are Kappa or other tracksuits (his and hers), white socks to tuck the tracksuit bottoms into, Burberry caps, woolly Benny hats and Reebok trainers. Primark clothing is most welcome. Food parcels are also needed. They include Mcains Micro-Chips, Aldi Beans, Monster Munch, Nutella chocolate spread and Iceland pizzas. Alcohol is also in short supply, mainly Lambrini, White Lightening cider and Carlsberg Special Brew. Cash donations are also needed, 22p buys a Bic Biro for signing on purposes, £1.50 buys cheese & chips and £25 buys 200 Regal from Bazza who has just got back from Kavos.
As old as the fecking hills-First done about Liverpool.. many,many years ago.
I heard on the news last night that there have been no reports of cash donations from the planet’s third world countries to aid the victims.
Well if that’s how it’s to be it’s every man for himself from now on.
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