Who’s Your Favourite Authoritarian Dictator?

[IanDavies]

“Voting closes at 11.59pm this Friday evening.”

The voting is now CLOSED.

The race time is scheduled for 11.11am tomorrow (Saturday) morning with text commentary delivered at intervals over an approximate ten-minute period to hopefully give it that real-time feel.

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It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"

[IanDavies]

Good morning everyone and welcome to this live text broadcast from Armageddon racecourse.

It’s another boiling hot day, the going is Hard and there has been zero attempt to water.

The big race is half an hour away (11.11am) and I will be back shortly before Post time….

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It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"

[IanDavies]

A reminder of today’s line up and the weights they will be carrying….

Adolf Hitler 12st7lb

Vladimir Putin 11st7lb
Uncle Joe Stalin 11st
Pol Pot 10st12lb

Idi Amin 10st9lb

Timur 10st

Genghis Khan 10st

Chairman Mao 9st13lb

Vlad the Impaler 9st13lb

Hideki Tōjō 9st9lb

General Franco 9st9lb

Nero 9st8lb

Saddam Hussain 9st7lb

Alfredo Stroessner 9st7lb

Caligula 9st7lb

Jean-Bedel ‘Emperor’ Bokassa 9st7lb

Nicolae Ceausescu 9st7lb

Attila The Hun 9st7lb

Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow 9st7lb

Robert Mugabe 9st7lb

Kim-Jong Jung 9st7lb

General Pinochet 9st7lb

Benito Mussolini 9st7lb

Ivan The Terrible 9st7lb
Francois “Papa Doc” Duvalier 9st7lb

Jean Claude “Baby Doc” Duvalier 9st7lb

Robert Peel 9st7lb

Oliver Cromwell 9st7lb

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It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"

[Cork All Star]

A few of these hot headed characters must have boiled over in the paddock in this weather, or will do in the parade if there is one.

Best put your bets on about a second before post time.

[IanDavies]

As the field take a last turn down at the start, a quick reminder (for information purposes only) of the latest betting just before the Off….

5/2 Adolf Hitler (from 3/1)

4/1 Uncle Joe Stalin

4/1 Vladimir Putin (from 5/1)

8/1 Pol Pot

8/1 Idi Amin

9/1 Genghis Khan (from 11/1)

12/1 Saddam Hussain

14/1 Robert Mugabe

14/1 Timur

14/1 Chairman Mao

16/1 Vlad the Impaler

16/1 Hideki Tōjō

20/1 General Franco

22/1 Nero

28/1 Alfredo Stroessner

33/1 Caligula

33/1 Jean-Bedel ‘Emperor’ Bokassa 

40/1 Nicolae Ceausescu

40/1 Attila The Hun

40/1 Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow 

40/1 Kim-Jong Jung

40/1 General Pinochet

40/1 Benito Mussolini

40/1 Ivan The Terrible

40/1 Francois “Papa Doc” Duvalier 

50/1 Jean Claude “Baby Doc” Duvalier

50/1 Robert Peel 

50/1 Oliver Cromwell

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It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"

[IanDavies]

“The Starter is on his rostrum and asking them to walk in….They’re under starters orders….and….they’re Off! They are away to a good level break and, as they cross The Oppressing Road, Genghis Khan is up there along with Uncle Joe Stalin, last year’s winner Adolf Hitler is prominent, Caligula is sitting handy along with Chairman Mao, Pol Pot and Timur…..”

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It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"

[IanDavies]

“They’re all over the first two obstacles safely, but we lost Robert Peel at the third, the big Open Ditch, and, as they head down towards the sixth, Belsen’s Brook, Genghis Khan is much more prominent this year. He leads by a length from Uncle Joe Stalin. Adolf Hitler is a further length away in third, then it’s Caligula, Chairman Mao, Pol Pot and Timur as they take Belsen’s, where Jean Claude “Baby Doc” Duvalier is a faller….”

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It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"

[IanDavies]

“Picking them up again after St Valentine’s Day Massacre Brook, where Francois “Papa Doc” Duvalier is down, and Genghis Khan is setting a really strong pace. He’s now a good four lengths clear of Adolf Hitler, who, under his big weight, is tracking him in second. Attila The Hun has moved up to third, a couple of lengths away, then it’s Uncle Joe Stalin and Vlad the Impaler. Caligula is next, just ahead of Ivan The Terrible and Chairman Mao. After that it’s Benito Mussolini and Pol Pot, with Timur and Saddam Hussain just behind them….”

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It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"

[IanDavies]

“Rejoining them as they take The Electric Chair – where we lost Jean-Bedel ‘Emperor’ Bokassa – in front of the Stands and Genghis Khan, ancient scourge of the East, continues to lead the field as they go out onto the second and final circuit. He’s still four lengths clear of runaway 2021 winner Adolf Hitler, under his welter burden this year. Attila The Hun is disputing third with Oliver Cromwell and Pol Pot, who has made headway. Then it’s the two big Russians, Uncle Joe Stalin and Vladimir Putin, with Benito Mussolini almost upsides them. Next is Vlad the Impaler, then Caligula. Ivan The Terrible, Chairman Mao and Nicolae Ceausescu are next and after that it’s Idi Amin, just ahead of General Pinochet, Timur and Saddam Hussain….”

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It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"

[IanDavies]

“Telephonic interruptions at Armageddon….the Computer Straight Forecast at Catford paid £9.11p and the CSF at Harringay was £6.66p….”

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It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"

[IanDavies]

“Picking them up again well out into the country on the second circuit now and as they take Belsen’s for the second time – Alfredo Stroessner a faller – and Adolf Hitler, despite his huge weight, has now ranged up alongsides Genghis Khan and jumped into a narrow lead! Uncle Joe Stalin is a length away in third, and it’s three lengths back to Vladimir Putin in fourth. Then it’s Saddam Hussain, just ahead of Attila The Hun, Oliver Cromwell and Pol Pot. Benito Mussolini is next, with Vlad the Impaler, Caligula and Kim Jong Un after that. Then it’s Ivan The Terrible, Chairman Mao, Nicolae Ceausescu and Timur closely grouped, with Idi Amin, General Pinochet and Robert Mugabe after that and no more than a dozen lengths behind the leaders….”

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It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"

[IanDavies]

“And as they enter the final mile and top weight Adolf Hitler, bidding to repeat last year’s win, is now fully three lengths clear of his old adversary Uncle Joe Stalin. Vladimir Putin is a close up third, with early leader Genghis Khan relegated to fourth. Then it’s Saddam Hussain and he’s three clear of Attila The Hun, Oliver Cromwell and Pol Pot. After that it’s Benito Mussolini, then Idi Amin, Vlad the Impaler, and Robert Mugabe, just ahead of Caligula and Kim Jong Un. Ivan The Terrible, Chairman Mao, Nicolae Ceausescu and Timur are next, then it’s General Pinochet and, annoyingly, the unpronounceable Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow…”

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It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"

[IanDavies]

“Hideki Tōjō fell four out and as they cross The Oppressing Road for the final time and turn for home it’s once again over to the ghost of Peter O’Sullevan to call them home….”

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It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"

[IanDavies]

“And as they approach the second last it’s last year’s sensational winner Adolf Hitler, shouldering 12st7lb this time, being stalked by Uncle Joe Stalin, who remember is getting 21lb from him today, with Vladimir Putin close up but under pressure in third, likewise Genghis Khan in fourth. Saddam Hussain is fifth and this quintet have pulled seven lengths clear of the rest. Jumping two out and Adolf Hitler still leads, but he’s off the bridle now and here’s weight telling as Uncle Joe Stalin moves up almost alongsides as they come to the last! Vladimir Putin, Genghis Khan and Saddam Hussain are still close up, but absolutely flat to the boards! Over the last and Adolf Hitler and Uncle Joe Stalin landed together! Approaching the Elbow and it’s still neck and neck! Adolf Hitler on the far side for Germany and Uncle Joe Stalin near side for Russia! Into the final furlong and Adolf Hitler has regained the initiative! Here’s class telling as the Austrian starts to pull away in the closing stages, six, seven, eight lengths clear! Adolf Hitler wins it again and in tremendous style at that! Uncle Joe Stalin is a gallant runner up in a repeat of last year, it’s a photo for third between Vladimir Putin and Genghis Khan, with Saddam Hussain fifth and Idi Amin running on from a long way back to be sixth. Then it’s Attila The Hun, Oliver Cromwell, Pol Pot and Nero. They’re ahead of Benito Mussolini, Vlad the Impaler, Robert Mugabe, Caligula and Kim Jong Un. Next home are Ivan The Terrible, Chairman Mao, Nicolae Ceausescu and Timur. General Pinochet beats just Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow. And they’re the only finishers because General Franco pulled up at the last. But ultimately this was all about one dictator. A devastating runaway winner last year, he’s not won it by as far this time, but he’s still landed this great race with authority. Adolf Hitler – will we ever see his like again? Let’s hope not.”

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It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"

[IanDavies]

Full result, including the always popular “where your despotic dollar went” feature….

Full Result, including starting prices….
1 Adolf Hitler 9/4 fav
2 Uncle Joe Stalin 4/1
3 Genghis Khan 13/2
4 Vladimir Putin 4/1
5 Saddam Hussain 12/1
6 Idi Amin 8/1
7 Attila The Hun 40/1
8 Oliver Cromwell 50/1
9 Pol Pot 8/1
10 Nero 22/1
11 Benito Mussolini 40/1
12 Vlad the Impaler 16/1
13 Robert Mugabe 14/1
14 Caligula 33/1
15 Kim Jong Un 40/1
16 Ivan The Terrible 40/1
17 Chairman Mao 14/1
18 Nicolae Ceausescu 40-1
19 Timur 14/1
20 General Pinochet 40/1
21 Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow 40/1

28 ran. (21 finished).

Distances: 9l, 1l, nose, 2l, 4l, 3l, sh-hd, sh-hd, sh-hd, 1l, nose, 1l, hd, sh-hd, 1l, nose, nk, nose, 2l, hd.

Also ran:
Pulled up 30th (last) – General Franco
Fell 27th (Open Ditch four out) – Hideki Tōjō
Fell 22nd (Second Belsen’s Brook) – Alfredo Stroessner
Fell 15th (The Electric Chair) – Jean-Bedel ‘Emperor’ Bokassa
Fell 9th (St Valentines Day Massacre Brook) – Francois “Papa Doc” Duvalier
Fell 6th (Belsen’s Brook) – Jean Claude “Baby Doc” Duvalier
Fell 3rd (Open Ditch) – Robert Peel

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It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"

[gamble]

On the edge of the seat stuff – Hitler’s looking like MURDER backwards. I had a small each way on Khan so am queueing ( is that right ? ) with the rest for a pick up. Exciting stuff once again and thank you to the commentator for naming and calling the b*statds !

[Nathan Hughes]

Brilliant
They will have to rewrite the handicap system for Hitler like they did for Arkle
reckon some of the less weighted Dictators will be ridden by 5 stone dwarfs next year

Gaelic Warrior Gold Cup Winner 2026

[Author]

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