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Ronnie Barker

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  • #4054
    • Total Posts 5857

    Dear Ronnie Barker has sadly passed away.

    My favourite character he played was Fletcher in Porridge.

    Will sadly be missed.

    Regards – Matron<br>:cool:

    • Total Posts 132

    Yes it’s really sad news.

    One of my favourite sketches he did with Ronnie Corbett was the one about the "fork handles".  Very funny.


    Grey Desire
    • Total Posts 1877

    Absolutely gutted by the news,an absolute comic genius.

    Four Candles:-

    In a hardware shop. Ronnie Corbett is behind the counter, wearing a warehouse jacket. He has just finished serving a customer.<br>CORBETT (muttering): There you are. Mind how you go.<br>(Ronnie Barker enters the shop, wearing a scruffy tank-top and beanie)<br>BARKER: Four Candles!<br>CORBETT: Four Candles?<br>BARKER: Four Candles.<br>(Ronnie Corbett makes for a box, and gets out four candles. He places them on the counter)<br>BARKER: No, four candles!<br>CORBETT (confused): Well there you are, four candles!<br>BARKER: No, fork ‘andles! ‘Andles for forks!<br>(Ronnie Corbett puts the candles away, and goes to get a fork handle. He places it onto the counter)CORBETT (muttering): Fork handles. Thought you said ‘four candles!’ (more clearly) Next?<br>BARKER: Got any plugs?<br>CORBETT: Plugs. What kind of plugs?<br>BARKER: A rubber one, bathroom.<br>(Ronnie Corbett gets out a box of bath plugs, and places it on the counter)<br>CORBETT (pulling out two different sized plugs): What size?<br>BARKER: Thirteen amp!<br>CORBETT (muttering): It’s electric bathroom plugs, we call them, in the trade. Electric bathroom plugs!<br>(He puts the box away, gets out another box, and places on the counter an electric plug, then puts the box away)<br>BARKER: Saw tips!<br>CORBETT: Saw tips? (he doesn’t know what he means) What d’you want? Ointment, or something like that?<br>BARKER: No, saw tips for covering saws.<br>CORBETT: Oh, haven’t got any, haven’t got any. (he mutters) Comin’ in, but we haven’ got any. Next?<br>BARKER: ‘O’s!<br>CORBETT: ‘O’s?<br>BARKER: ‘O’s.<br>(He goes to get a hoe, and places it on the counter)<br>BARKER: No, ‘O’s!<br>CORBETT: ‘O’s! I thought you said ‘O! (he takes the hose back, and gets a hose, whilst muttering) When you said ‘O’s, I thought you said ‘O! ‘O’s!<br>(He places the hose onto the counter)<br>BARKER: No, ‘O’s!<br>CORBETT (confused for a moment): O’s? Oh, you mean panty ‘o’s, panty ‘o’s! (he picks up a pair of tights from beside him)<br>BARKER: No, no, ‘O’s! ‘O’s for the gate. Mon repose! ‘O’s! Letter O’s!<br>CORBETT (finally realising): Letter O’s! (muttering) You had me going there!<br>(He climbs up a stepladder, gets a box down, puts the ladder away, and takes the box to the counter, and searches through it for letter O’s)<br>CORBETT: How many d’you want?<br>BARKER: Two.<br>(Ronnie Corbett leaves two letter O’s on the counter, then takes the box back, gets the ladder out again, puts the box away, climbs down the ladder, and puts the ladder away, then returns to the counter)<br>CORBETT: Yes, next?<br>BARKER: Got any P’s?<br>CORBETT (fed up): For Gawd’ sake, why didn’ you bleedin’ tell me that while I was up there then? I’m up and down the shop already, it’s up and down the bleedin’ shop all the time. (He gets the ladder out, climbs up and gets the box of letters down, then puts the ladder away) Honestly, I’ve got all this shop, I ain’t got any help, it’s worth it we plan things. (He puts the box on the counter, and gets out some letter P’s) How many d’you want?<br>BARKER: No! Tins of peas. Three tins of peas!<br>CORBETT: You’re ‘avin’ me on, ain’t ya, yer ‘avin’ me on?<br>BARKER: I’m not!<br>(Ronnie Corbett dumps the box under the counter, and gets three tins of peas)<br>CORBETT (placing the tins on the counter): Next?<br>BARKER: Got any pumps?<br>CORBETT (getting really fed up): ‘And pumps, foot pumps? Come on!<br>BARKER (surprised he has to ask): Foot pumps!<br>CORBETT (muttering, as he goes down the shop): Foot pumps. See a foot pump? (He sees one, and picks it up) Tidy up in ‘ere.<br>(He puts the pump down on the counter)<br>BARKER: No, pumps fer ya feet! Brown pump, size nine!<br>CORBETT (almost at breaking point): You are ‘avin’ me on, you are definitely ‘avin’ me on!<br>BARKER (not taking much notice of Corbett’s mood): I’m not!<br>CORBETT: You are ‘avin’ me on! (He takes back the pump, and gets a pair of brown foot pumps out of a drawer, and places them on the counter) Next?<br>BARKER: Washers!<br>CORBETT (really close to breaking point): What, dishwashers, floor washers, car washers, windscreen washers, back scrubbers, lavatory cleaners? Floor washers?<br>BARKER: ‘Alf inch washers!<br>CORBETT: Oh, tap washers, tap washers? (He finally breaks, and makes to confiscate his list) Look, I’ve had just about enough of this, give us that list. (He mutters) I’ll get it all myself! (Reading through the list) What’s this? What’s that? Oh that does it! That just about does it! I have just about had it! (calling through to the back) Mr. Jones! You come out and serve this customer please, I have just about had enough of ‘im. (Mr. Jones comes out, and Ronnie Corbett shows him the list) Look what ‘e’s got on there! Look what ‘e’s got on there!<br>JONES (who goes to a drawer with a towel hanging out of it, and opens it): Right! How many would ya like? One or two?<br>(He removes the towel to reveal the label on the drawer – ‘Bill hooks’!)


    Jim JTS
    • Total Posts 841

    Ronnie Barker was a genius it’s as simple as that, he made me laugh everytime I watched him on TV and he was very clever with his delivery and at times didn’t even need to say anything as his facial expressions said it all, he will be sadly missed by many.

    The Two Ronnies:

    "The man who invented the zip fastener was today honoured with a lifetime peerage. He will now be known as the Lord of the Flies".  

    "The search for the man who terrorises nudist camps with a bacon slicer goes on. Inspector Lemuel Jones had a tip-off this morning, but hopes to be back on duty tomorrow"  


    Doctor: "I want you to fill one of those containers for me".<br>Fletcher (other side of the room): "What, from ‘ere?"  

    "What have I learned, Mr Mackay? Three things. One – bide your time. Two – keep your nose clean. And three – don’t let the b*****d
    s grind you down".

    (Playing Monopoly) "Would you Adam and Eve it? Go to jail!"  


    Fork ‘andles (video clip)  

    <br>Ronnie Corbett: "So it’s good night from me…"<br>Ronnie Barker: "…and it’s good night from him". "Good night!"

    <br>Good night Ronnie – rest in peace!  :(

    • Total Posts 2685

    A real genius ~ he even made Ronnie Corbett look funny.

    lollys mate
    • Total Posts 625

    I used to serve him in my Dads greengrocers shop in Pinner.<br> A true Gent, and the cleverist comedian ever.

    Sadly missed.

    God bless him.

    • Total Posts 1638

    A genius of a comic actor. Look how different Fletcher and Arkwright were and how sympathetically he played those two characters. He was an absolute  master of comic timing too. <br>Very sad to see he’s gone.

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