- This topic has 73 replies, 27 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 9 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
A boyfriend of my daughters commited suicide a few years after they split up. When she’d mentioned it to het doctor when they were going out [his depression was affecting her at that point] he just said that ‘if someone talks about commiting suicide they won’t’, which shows that a lot of health professionals don’t understand it.
Ginger, I’m posting this rather than PMng you as there might be others who could benefit from my own experience with it.
The short answer is to try and point them toward an online NHS questionnaire for depression. How persistent you can be will depend on your closeness and your friend’s attitude to ‘advice’.
Many people, especially as they age, slip into depression and believe it is just part of getting older (humans are great at adjusting steadily to many things, but not so great sometimes with the ultimate results of that adjustment).
People are likely to be more truthful with themselves sitting privately, answering a diagnostic questionnaire, than they will be with others.
Establishing how serious depression is in yourself, let alone someone else, is a tough task. All you can do with your friend is try. The good news is that many depressives can be treated with great success. I’ve heard quite a few say that life has opened up to such an extent that they feel twenty-years-old again. If you can get that message across – that treatment, for many, can not only save them slipping deeper and deeper, but can give them a feeling of rebirth – well, you know how powerful that could be.
Even if a questionnaire-based diagnosis indicates depression, there are many barriers to overcome. The perceived social ‘stigma’; the reluctance to have to declare it when seeking employment, insurance etc, makes it a tough call for many.
If you could offer a depressive a single day as his or her ‘old self’ (assuming it’s not a lifetime affliction) and tell them that treatment would give them a massive chance of a permanent return, most would, imo, ignore the barriers.
I wish you, and anyone else in the situation, luck. BTW, if you ever hear anyone complaining of a ‘frozen shoulder’, in my experience in can be the mind crying for help via the body, either from severe stress, or depression. Other ‘mystery’ pains (sometimes in the stomach) for which no physical reason can be found can be a manifestation of mental illness. I am not talking of ‘phantom’ pain – it tends to be agonizing to the point of disablement.
Good luck.
JoeHi Joe,
Although the mental illness I am talking about is agoraphobia, not depression, your suggestion of answering a diagnostic internet questionaire is a very good one.Many thanks
MarkValue Is EverythingAlthough the mental illness I am talking about is agoraphobia, not depression, your suggestion of answering a diagnostic internet questionaire is a very good one.
FWIW, agoraphobia is frequently a comorbidity associated with depression and in particular panic disorder and anxiety attacks; so an even better reason for your friend to attempt self-diagnosis via a questionnaire
Although the mental illness I am talking about is agoraphobia, not depression, your suggestion of answering a diagnostic internet questionaire is a very good one.
FWIW, agoraphobia is frequently a comorbidity associated with depression and in particular panic disorder and anxiety attacks; so an even better reason for your friend to attempt self-diagnosis via a questionnaire
That is one of the reasons why I’d like to do something about it now Drone. So it does not escalate.
Value Is EverythingGood to see a sharing of experiences on here on a topic just by its very nature is uncomfortable.This forum is a classic example of what the Professional Mental health folk would describe as good therapy,its a social connection used by some who contribute and others who just read,by association what we haven’t discussed is the impact of Mental health and Gambling.Sadly Gamblers too fall into the high risk category of potential Suicide cases purely because of its addictive nature.In my 30yrs of Gambling I have never suffered anymore than the usual low mood of losing my hard earned cash but I can certainly see how some who chase their luck get hooked,I have sadly seen several regulars in my local bookmakers lose everything bar their life thankfully but I know they have all developed Depression through their lifestyle.Anyone who suffers from the various mental illnesses associated with modern living and deal with it on a daily basis actually make perfect councillors,I know through my Mother that when her Crisis Team send round someone to council her they for as friendly as they are have no experience of actually being depressed themselves so she gets no-where with them,however she gets on remarkably well with fellow sufferers who can all associate with the awful symptoms that frequently occur.Last night my Mother was suffering from Nightmares all because her medication was dropped by 2mgs.She saw men with knives surrounding her bed,scarey stuff and these are everyday occurences when her Meds are being adjusted.
Edit, just read the News reports of Lucys funeral today,it all happened very quickly but its transpired that she had it all planned out! A letter she wrote to loved ones tells how she had given up fighting this Ilness and describes herself as a ‘coward’………..That couldn’t be further from the truth.Anyone who goes to the trouble she obviously has planning this whole episode knowing exactly how she is going to ‘do the deed’is no coward.We can only imagine that poor girls plight,I suggest she’s done the bravest thing of all not the opposite!This is a very sad story. Incredibly sad to read the letter that Lucy left. http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/lu … 86727.html
It is also heartwarming to read the posts on this thread and the understanding of people for this issue.
I myself have suffered for years. I will say to anyone who also suffers please try and get help. Two years ago I was suffering badly and having counseling with the local NHS service. I completely broke down in one session and was taken straight away to the doctor next door who was fantastic. I was then given Cognative Behavioral Therapy which started within a week. I have to say the NHS were superb.
My sincere condolences to the friends and family of Lucy.
Edit, just read the News reports of Lucys funeral today,it all happened very quickly but its transpired that she had it all planned out! A letter she wrote to loved ones tells how she had given up fighting this Ilness and describes herself as a ‘coward’………..That couldn’t be further from the truth.Anyone who goes to the trouble she obviously has planning this whole episode knowing exactly how she is going to ‘do the deed’is no coward.We can only imagine that poor girls plight,I suggest she’s done the bravest thing of all not the opposite!
Why the exclamation marks?
This is a very sad story. Incredibly sad to read the letter that Lucy left. http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/lu … 86727.html
It is also heartwarming to read the posts on this thread and the understanding of people for this issue.
I myself have suffered for years. I will say to anyone who also suffers please try and get help. Two years ago I was suffering badly and having counseling with the local NHS service. I completely broke down in one session and was taken straight away to the doctor next door who was fantastic. I was then given Cognative Behavioral Therapy which started within a week. I have to say the NHS were superb.
My sincere condolences to the friends and family of Lucy.
Don’t think that this letter should have been open to public view.
Mr Pilsen, A funeral is public event and Its clearly what she wanted. Also why hide it? Doesnt that run against what has been largely said on this thread about the need to be more open about this condition.
SHL
Mr Pilsen, A funeral is public event and Its clearly what she wanted. Also why hide it? Doesnt that run against what has been largely said on this thread about the need to be more open about this condition.
This is quite a long thread but is only made up of about 12 contributors. Is that really enough to start dictating opinions?
Can we not have this thread descend into bickering?
I was then given Cognative Behavioral Therapy which started within a week. I have to say the NHS were superb.
That’s actually really fast. I’ve heard that the waiting lists for CBT in my area can be upwards of eighteen months. All the same, I do hope it helps and you make all the use you can out of it.
Here’s an online CBT program in case anybody is faced with a pesky waiting list.
Can we not have this thread descend into bickering?
This^
Lucy’s last letter was public knowledge before being mentioned here. It was printed in the local Irish press.
As for criticism of someone’s grammar, on any thread, let alone one as grave as this . . .
To be fair to Mr Pilsen my first reaction was the same, a private letter like that should not be put on a forum (whether it’s been published elsewhere or not). However, if ALL Lucy’s close family want it to be in the public eye… it’s ok and may help others.
Value Is EverythingEdit, just read the News reports of Lucys funeral today,it all happened very quickly but its transpired that she had it all planned out! A letter she wrote to loved ones tells how she had given up fighting this Ilness and describes herself as a ‘coward’………..That couldn’t be further from the truth.Anyone who goes to the trouble she obviously has planning this whole episode knowing exactly how she is going to ‘do the deed’is no coward.We can only imagine that poor girls plight,I suggest she’s done the bravest thing of all not the opposite!
I can see that anyone with a terminal illness could "bravely" end it all Gord, as there’s absolutely no coming back from the disease. Fail to see why it is "brave" to take your own life when possible (with help) to come through depression and be happy again. Would not want people with depression to think suicide is ever the "brave" thing to do. Though agree it should not be seen as the "cowards way out".
Value Is EverythingI think what needs to be achieved is some sort of understanding, and it’s only by discussion and bringing it into the open that will happen. I’ve learned a lot about depression over the past few weeks from reading the thread started on another forum. There’s also a new tv series starting up [may have started already] about a young girl suffering from anxiety/depression.
Can we not have this thread descend into bickering?
This^
Lucy’s last letter was public knowledge before being mentioned here. It was printed in the local Irish press.
As for criticism of someone’s grammar, on any thread, let alone one as grave as this . . .
Joe, you disappoint me to think that I would do that.
TAPK – Legend in his own lunchtime – seemed to be getting over excited and I thought his exclamation marks were a little out of place! Do you see!… nothing to do with grammar.
I shouldn’t really have to be giving this reply at all, it should be obvious from my posts that I’d never do what you suggested on a thread such as this.
RIP lucy.
Edit, just read the News reports of Lucys funeral today,it all happened very quickly but its transpired that she had it all planned out! A letter she wrote to loved ones tells how she had given up fighting this Ilness and describes herself as a ‘coward’………..That couldn’t be further from the truth.Anyone who goes to the trouble she obviously has planning this whole episode knowing exactly how she is going to ‘do the deed’is no coward.We can only imagine that poor girls plight,I suggest she’s done the bravest thing of all not the opposite!
Why the exclamation marks?
Put that down to me just being illiterate Mr P! I dont know an apostrophe from a semi-quaver!
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.