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Little to add to the wise counsel offered other than to reiterate the inestimable capacity that exercise in the fresh air ensconced in the timeless beauty of the natural world has for lifting the spirit and delivering peace of mind: the sights, sounds and smells far from the madding crowd
Some like to ramble; I prefer to amble with no particular place to go, armed with no more than a drink, camera and binoculars. Wander, sit, watch and listen
It takes an effort to get out and about during the cold, dark seasons but the effort once made is, if anything, more rewarding than a summer stroll: the blood soon circulates, hands and feet soon glow and the airways soon expand
The return to the warmth of home is lovely; remaining at home trying to keep warm is horrible
All the best Ben
‘I prefer to amble with no particular place to go, armed with no more than a drink, camera and binoculars. Wander, sit, watch and listen’
Absolutely Drone. I love to just start walking with no particular plan, just make a random right, left or straight on decision as they come.
Ben mentions being on the south coast. I personally find a great charm in the coast/seaside in winter. A windswept promenade or a deserted clifftop is strangely uplifting to me.
I saw two Otters on one of my walks a few weeks ago. I’m still buzzing from it. Thinking more about what Ben wrote I remembered that a lot of students stay living at home now. And they say that most young people don’t get onto the housing ladder till they’re in their late thirties. As for finding ‘the one’, that usually happens when you’re not looking. And that person won’t care if you’re a pauper or a millionaire.
Only seen wild otters once: in Shetland near the Sullom Voe oil terminal
Today I saw four bullfinches; three males and one female, with the shocking-pink breasts of the males beautifully illuminated in the low winter sun. Not out on a walk but from my allotment, on which I’ve recently had installed a rather splendid 10ft x 8ft greenhouse to replace my smaller, now knackered one
A Christmas/Greenhouse-warming party was held with a crowd of three. Tasty home-made mince pies and a polite glass of sickly home-made punch
One has to enter into the spirit of the thing doesn’t one: it means little to me but a lot to others, so I hope those TRFers who’ve braved the roads and public transport have arrived at their destinations okay and will enjoy the holiday with nearest, dearest or whoever
Brussels Sprouts are small this year after the dry summer but my parsnips are splendid
I took Roy Orbison’s advice and drove all night. There were a few others doing the same but the road network is bliss between midnight and 7am.
It’s a truly great track, and like so many others, I like it too.
But some of the lyrics….
“I was dying to ‘get’ to you”
“I drove all night, ‘crept’ in your room”
….arguably haven’t aged too well!
Glad you cleverly avoided bad traffic, though.
Merry Christmas, Richard!
I am "The Horse Racing Punter" on Facebook
https://mobile.twitter.com/Ian_Davies_
https://www.facebook.com/ThePointtoPointNHandFlatracingpunter/
It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"Many song lyrics don’t stand up to much scrutiny for various reasons, you think about these things whilst driving all night with the radio on.
I probably wasn’t too far from chez Chezza during the part of my journey that took in the A303 and M3 but rest assured that any thoughts of creeping about were far from my mind.
Merry Christmas Ian and indeed all others.
When you passed Junction 6 of the M3, you were very close indeed!
Many thanks for the seasonal greetings – let’s hope we all have a good one.
I am "The Horse Racing Punter" on Facebook
https://mobile.twitter.com/Ian_Davies_
https://www.facebook.com/ThePointtoPointNHandFlatracingpunter/
It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"Ben,
I’ve little to add to what the others have already said.
I take people as I find them and have appreciated your input 1. to my comments and threads.
2. Your fresh approach and insight into racing as a punter and from behind the bar at the racetrack.
3. Positive outlook on the game from a young man’s perspective.
4. The fact that you’ll start a thread about a horse which hasn’t yet run and might run well.
one that we can take a look at and offer an opinion on too.
Best wishes on the relationship front, if you have a dream keep chasing it. Always go forward though.
We make mistakes, big ones too that is how we learn. Just in the present it can be pretty hard to see it that way.
If you can find a way to keep up the education, especially from home do so.
You are a bright bloke, I like you.
Merry Xmas.
To back up what Sam is saying , I’m a huge reader esp of biographies , nearly every successful person in life has failed first , whether it’s sport , business etc , they’ve succeeded because they’ve kept trying , there no problem in making a mistake ….just don’t keep making the same one over and over
In order to have some snide saddo (who’s probably never taken a risk in their cowardly life) call you a “failed” anything you first need to have had the courage to have had a go at whatever it was in the first place.
I’d say the smartest people observe and learn from the mistakes of others and consequently never make those mistakes themselves, average people learn from their own mistakes and never repeat them and problem people make the same mistakes over and over again.
Smartest has to be the target category, average is the minimum requirement and problem is the category no one ought to be ending up in.
I am "The Horse Racing Punter" on Facebook
https://mobile.twitter.com/Ian_Davies_
https://www.facebook.com/ThePointtoPointNHandFlatracingpunter/
It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"Absolutely overwhelmed with all the advice and support I’ve received here and can only thank you all immensely.
After having a few days I think I’ve just been feeling tremendous guilt and regret, what triggered it was realising my actions were not ok with regards to how I treated the ex. We would argue a lot and I would cause it, she would do little things that would wind me up and I would berate her for it, I always felt like I was ok to act that way and that it was deserved. However, was with my old man last week and he was treating his wife in the same way, and it reminded me of when I was a child – he would do the same thing with my mum, have a go for the most little things. It made me realise that I was repeating these behaviours with my ex and that the whole notion I had in my head of why we broke up – being that we disagreed too much and she would wind me up wasn’t entirely correct, it was just me being an utter prick and finally she couldn’t take it any more, she hung on for over a year with me acting this way and even tried telling me the effect it was having on her, but I was too drugged up on the weed to ever really realise or appreciate the pain it was causing her.
Now that I’ve come to this realisation it started to make me question everything else about myself, am I smart enough to do the degree? Am I smart enough to be a sports psychologist? Who was I to turn down a family and instead pursue a career that will take time – when looking back it feels like she truly made me happy (though I never realised it), so why couldn’t I just settle down and be happy? Truth is at the time I felt like having a job in estate agency wouldn’t have made me happy, and that is most likely true – it’s just as I said, once you start to realise you were wrong on one thing then it makes you question everything else.
Tell you the truth it’s been the worst few months of my life, haven’t gotten to sleep before 3am once in the 4-5 months since we split and maybe I should go to the GP like a couple of you have suggested to get some sleeping pills, I’m hesitant to get anti-depressants prescribed because I’ve always believed that though we can’t control our emotions or happiness, we can control the variables that enhance our chances of being happy, I don’t want to rely on medication, as naïve as that may sound.
But after reading all of the comments and replies on here it’s given me a kick up the ass and made me realise I am making the right choice, it’s just not an easy or quick fix, doing a degree never is and the best things in life we have to work for, that’s something I just have to accept, if I bail out at the first hurdle now I’ll be just as bad as Annie Power falling at the last. My only option is to improve myself in every way possible to give myself the greatest possible future life and add to my chances of finding an even more amazing woman!
It’s funny how you don’t realise a good thing until it’s gone, but with the help of you all I’ll make sure never to repeat those mistakes and to use them as my driving force to attain happiness again and to pursue the dream career, it will be hard but everyone who achieves the ultimate happiness and success has to go through tough times, it’s just the way it is.
I honestly can’t wait to finish the degree and masters down the line and meet a great woman and to tell you all about it. I thought I’d be able to get some good advice on here but have been honestly completely blown away by the level and variety of it all.
From the bottom of my heart thank you to each and every one of you and I hope you’re all having a great Christmas.
Hello Ben.
Having successfully swerved the monarch’s Christmas speech for the 59th consecutive time in my 59yo life, and being in a tranquil transitory state between meals and family events, I’ve got time to give your posting the attention it deserves.
Guilt achieves NOTHING – it helps neither you nor those you may feel you wronged, it’s a pointless, even self-indulgent, emotion.
So you were a bad boyfriend on weed.
It’s GONE, stop self-pityingly guilt tripping about it, you can’t change it.
What’s done is done.
Tbh, she doesn’t sound that great anyway.
She wanted you to become an estate agent and start a family?
What about what YOU wanted?
Didn’t that matter to her?
I think you’re well rid and, whether that is true or not, bottom line is you’re rid.
She ain’t coming back – and trust me that’s not a bad thing.
Move on.
The next time you meet a woman you’re this guy working to become a sports psychologist.
If she doesn’t like that, or wants to change you, she can jog on too.
Either she’s into you for you and wants to support your chosen path, or she’s no use to you.
If she’s ticking those boxes then, yes, time to put those life lessons you’ve learned into practice.
Best to put less into your body, not more.
I agree with No to anti depressants, but no more weed either.
Ever.
If you find a decent woman who doesn’t want to manipulate you into becoming whatever she’s looking for, then be a decent bloke to her.
Not because you’re a Saint, but because if a decent woman gets fed up with you and leaves that’s even worse for you than it is for her.
You’re only 31, ffs!
You’re doing a degree!
You have a path!
And you’re on Constitution Hill at odds against for the Champion Hurdle!!!!
It really isn’t that bad!
I know this is all a bit “get a grip,” “tough love,” but most people on the planet would gladly swap places with you and happiness is relative and perspective can help a lot.
Now where’s that Christmas Pudding?
I’m ready to go again!
I am "The Horse Racing Punter" on Facebook
https://mobile.twitter.com/Ian_Davies_
https://www.facebook.com/ThePointtoPointNHandFlatracingpunter/
It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"“And you’re on Constitution Hill at odds against for the Champion Hurdle!!!!”
This made me laugh the most I’ve laughed all week Ian, so thankyou mate!!
And to the rest of your message, you’re spot on, I’m in a great situation and have the world at my feet, feeling sorry for myself wont achieve anything positive, all we can do is learn and improve! And certainly no more drugs for me, I stopped smoking a few months ago after we split. I do think you’re right too, she should have supported my choice to get a degree in order to attain a job that makes me happy, once I’ve achieved that I’ll be in a better place than ever before and until that happens it’s time to stop kicking dirt and enjoy the journey. I’m going to cut down my work hours in the new year and go to some of the Uni Societies like some of you have suggested! Need to get out there and have some fun again!
Thank you for your good wishes Ben.
I am delighted to see you taking the excellent advice that you have received on board. I genuinely think you knew half of this deep down anyway but sometimes it helps to hear it from others and dare I say it, receive a bit of a kick up the arse. I am glad to be able to be part of the solution but at the end of the day, it all comes from within so don’t underestimate your own role in all of this. You’re doing well, keep it up
Good luck, Ben. It’s dead right that you decide what you do, no matter the input of others
All the best.
Joe
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