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I’ve avoided the songs this year. My lad gave me the following
Albania top 10 – 10/11
Ukraine top 5 – 7/1Blackbeard to conquer the World
Was just about to say the same. Awful. Just awful.( I keep thinking of other great girl groups like The Last Dinner Party and Wet Leg, then look at this lot and think why?)
I don’t take any interest in it until the actual event. It’s a nice bit of daft fun on a Saturday evening and Graham Norton’s commentary is usually a good laugh.
I can’t imagine most ‘serious’ acts want to be associated with it hence why we usually enter dross. Sam Ryder was good and has done well off the back of it.
I really like Albania. There are some really good songs entered this year from what I’ve heard so far. Apart from the UK of course.
Ive still got the Norway entry from either of the last two years rattling around me head..
It got used as a radio jingle out there on the radio rock station for some adverts..Like most Ive not heard any from this year, and yes its a good crack on Saturday night for a a bit of family time.
No doubt Ill back the nutty songs and loose as always.(With the disclaimer that I wrote this some days ago based mostly on performances in the national finals, so don’t blame me if anyone changed their act to blow bubbles out of their ears, it’s…)
The usual unsolicited thoughts on Eurovision Semi-Final #1
==============ICELAND
Stompy, shouty six-eight electrofolk by siblings in bacofoil tracksuits. Gets by on force of personality more than the (ironically) underpowered “Power” of last year ever could or did, and the return to singing in Icelandic is pleasing, but those boys’ voices will do well to command the auditorium. Accusations by Israel of Róa plagiarising Hatunat HaShana (who in their right mind would plagiarise a track co-performed by a tax dodger tarnished by association with historic statutory rape allegations?) aren’t worth the bother.POLAND
I love the fact that this entry has compelled me to revisit Justyna Steczkowska’s Sama, which finished 18th in her one previous appearance in the Contest back in 1995. The reasons that piece of minor-key folk-tinged trip hop may have been overlooked back then – downbeat, melancholic, introverted – read like positive boons now in a Eurovision era more receptive to shade as well as light. Right song, wrong era? Gaja sees Justyna demonstrate more of her sizeable vocal range for longer, as well as some entry level physical acrobatics; and if I’m not enjoying it as much as its predecessor quite yet, there’s time. A frontrunner if YouTube and Spotify traffic alone count for anything.SLOVENIA
The sincerity isn’t in question, and How Much Time Do We Have Left navigates its way through a similar scenario to Wires by Athlete just that bit more skilfully lyrically. The song suffers, however, from its failure to decide half way through whether to hit the button marked lung-bursting, euphoric finale or continue to bump around in a more low-key manner. Reconciling Klemen the earnest singer facing the worst projections of his wife’s cancer diagnosis with Klemen the comedy impressionist (with one recent instance of blackface, no less) isn’t the easiest, either.ESTONIA
I’ve expounded at length in these reviews over the years about comedy songs which land, and those which don’t. I wonder whether you can guess into which silo I’ll be dropping this exercise in baiting Italians by a performer with an extensive résumé of hairy-palmed sexist material and a political moral compass on the blink? Disappointing to learn he’s collaborated with Käärijä of Cha Cha Cha fame, really.SPAIN
Unfinished business for Melodía Ruiz Gutiérrez (for it is she), having won over the jury but not the public in Spain’s 2009 selection process. Possibly a blessing, that, considering how many teenagers this Contest can chew up and spit out (not everyone’s a Nicole or Sandra Kim), and the 2025 model of Melody has the pipes and presence to do a song justice on this stage. Pity the material isn’t more memorable, however; some nods to Loreen’s Tattoo among the obligatory Flamenco guitar licks, but it’s all just a bit too wordy and fussy for what it needs to be.UKRAINE
The longer Ukraine’s battle for survival against Russia endures, so it becomes harder to resist unwittingly patronising their ongoing strong showings in Eurovision as incredible achievements in spite of everything. Safer, then, just to deal with the song completely on its merits: Ziferblat are very different to anything representing Ukraine in recent memory; they offer up an engaging, labyrinthine melodic rock number that stays with one longer than many other entries this year; and they wouldn’t be going deep into the contest out of turn, having missed out in the national vote two years previously.SWEDEN
A year off from the usual precision-tooled, high production-valued dance or pop? Not sure I saw that coming. An altogether more wholesome novelty piece than Estonia’s, all the more amusing for the three members of KAJ remaining soberly suited throughout (more gratuitous acts might have stripped off once the sauna appeared on stage), though not as laugh out loud funny as, say, a Guildo Horn. Another collector’s item for lovers of local dialects in Eurovision, mind, being rendered in the Finland Swedish Vörå variety. We’ll get a UK entry in Sheffield speak yet.PORTUGAL
A longing for home by Madeirans displaced either to mainland Portugal, or else further afield, as dictated by work or study. As with the likes of Salvador Sobral and Maro in the recent past, a Portuguese entry with not a hint of histrionics or hysterics about it, albeit it rather goes missing in its middle third. Not as compelling as it might have been, then, but certainly pretty, and mercifully betraying more of NAPA’s Beatles influences than their Chilli Peppers ones.NORWAY
Quite a few entries in the Eurovision bingo card crossed off at once here, from the copious use of fire in the staging to the twelvety hundredth recycling of some of the motifs from Tarkan Tevetoğlu’s (later Holly Valance’s) Kiss Kiss. Largely the work of nineteen-year-old performer Kyle Alessandro, and if not advertising his worth as prodigious a teen talent as, say, For You-era Prince or We Could Send Letters-era Roddy Frame, it’s far from without merit.BELGIUM
By all accounts a love song to Belgium’s rave culture, albeit the rave culture of now, so old buggers like me ought not get excited all of a sudden and expect a facsimile of Injected with a Poison by Praga Khan or similar. The neon red and black stage setting feels as if it’s been done to death in the recent past, something which surely won’t be lost on those required to judge on such matters. The song is a joy, however – pounding, irresistible EDM with two perfectly executed leaps into a sustained falsetto vocal. Before the Party’s Over’s mystifying failure to make the Final last year surely won’t be repeated with this.ITALY
The bullied kid emerges informed by his past rather than remaining a prisoner of it, able to interpret his fragility as a strength. Even if I hadn’t cared much for this song, I’d still have felt seen by it. An Italian rock track, yes, but from a more poised, delicate, softer end of the spectrum than Måneskin, glam get-up and strings and all. Lucio Corsi’s earliest forays into music apparently had something in common with Gabriel-era Genesis; I think I’d have quite liked him to create something that tries to condense Supper’s Ready into three minutes.AZERBAIJAN
Maroon 5 warning! Maroon 5 warning! This is not a test! This is not a drill! Offensively inoffensive, and I’ve heard too much of the electric saz in Omar Souleyman’s irresistible electro-dabke now to settle for Mamagama’s weedy acoustic equivalent.SAN MARINO
Probably my favourite San Marino entry musically since Serhat, the jolly singalonga chorus having plenty to do with that, along with an altogether less snidey celebration of all things Italian than Tommy bloody Cash. I surely won’t be the first person this week to suggest that the staging is a weak point, however. If it’s a given that Gabry Ponte (formerly one third of Eiffel 65, all you fellow old people out there) wouldn’t be able to command much of a presence from behind his mixing desk, the singer (hidden behind a bird mask) and instrumentalists could at least have been pushed front and centre rather than apologetically assembled next to him. A performance which feels delivered in spite of you, rather than to you, which is a pity.ALBANIA
Where once the Contest’s tracks advocating world peace and tolerance would be, without fail, yer simple four-four anthems with huge choruses, here we have the same message but delivered by Albanian immigrants from Italy in the form of rumbling, brooding, orchestral folktronica. Note also the most lugubrious spoken word break, which could easily be misconstrued as menace without a lyrics sheet to hand. Not sure many people will be indifferent about this one.NETHERLANDS
With all charges leveled against him following his expulsion from Eurovision last year having ultimately been dropped in the summer, I’d have assumed the path had been smoothed for Joost Klein to have another crack at the Contest this year with his national broadcaster AVROTROS’s blessing; and reading up further it does appear that this very nearly happened. Eurovision’s loss is, in the end, our loss as well, Congolese refugee Claude’s chanson-cum-dance-pop proving more winsome from a backstory perspective (fell in love with the Contest whilst being processed) than a musical one.CROATIA
…Which sees Croatia swapping the single-minded musical juggernaut of Rim Tim Tagi Dim for something closer to Bambie Thug’s stylistic gear changes and darker demeanour. Poison Cake has certainly already achieved on a par with Doomsday Blue in one regard, some local detractors having similarly branded it satanic, and you’d want to wish Marko Bošnjak best of luck in the Contest given both that backlash and a slew of homophobic abuse. And if the song just doesn’t work as well as Bambie’s effort, the nursery rhyme interludes and industrial screams proving just too incompatible a juxtaposition, it’s hard to knock the intellectual intent of a song which must surely include the first ever use of “genuflect” in the Contest. Diggi-loo Diggi-ley this is not.SWITZERLAND
Eight years on, as close to an Amar Pelos Dois-inspired entry as I can remember, certainly in terms of delicacy and (barring a slightly overdone orchestral flourish near the end) restraint. Some of the hype around Zoë Më’s style as “unique pop-poetry” probably isn’t helpful for the performer; it’s some pretty, not unwelcome respite from the thuds and screeches elsewhere, and ought to be enjoyed just as that.CYPRUS
The lyrics are a riddle, if less in the style of Nik Kershaw and more that of a clue in Going for Gold – the thought suddenly occurs to me whether this track is a tribute to Henry Kelly? Maybe not. More stately brooding for the first third, before suddenly deciding to wheel out the EDM beats and Faithless motifs, making up for that lost time reasonably adequately.gc
Jeremy Grayson. Son of immigrant. Adoptive father of two. Metadata librarian. Freelance point-to-point / horse racing writer, analyst and commentator wonk. Loves music, buses, cats, the BBC Micro, ale. Advocate of CBT, PACE and therapeutic parenting. Aspergers.
(With the disclaimer that I also wrote this some days ago based mostly on performances in the national finals, it’s…)
The usual unsolicited thoughts on Eurovision Semi-Final #2
==============AUSTRALIA
If Finbarr Saunders wrote pop… Milkshake Man immediately had me thinking of Scooch’s Flying the Flag (For You), but ultimately works better than that ill-starred UK entry (he said entry! Hihihihi!) owing to its infectious synthy chug and a higher (and less painstakingly set up) gag count. I fear I’ll have quite a bit of explaining of things to do to the kids, mind.MONTENEGRO
Boilerplate overwrought central European balladry that proved more popular with the judges in the national final than the eventual winner, which was later disqualified on the previously performed song technicality. One senses the continent’s judges as a whole may be less forgiving of the opening 30 seconds or so, pitched so low that Nina can do no other than mumble flatly into her (proverbial or actual) boots.IRELAND
You can’t say the mononymous Emmy hasn’t tried to get here before now. Participant in three of the past four qualification events for Norway (as performer, juror and writer respectively), and part of an attempt to get Citi Zēni (of Eat Your Salad “fame”) through the Latvian qualifiers this year, too, it’s required Ireland’s embracing of a track binned off at an early-ish stage by the Norwegian broadcaster to grant her the ticket to the semis she’s evidently craved. And I get why she’s tried, I genuinely do. It’s the pop equivalent of those smaller-scale racing trainers who bought cast-offs from top Irish jumps yards for the glory of a runner in this year’s Grand National. It didn’t work for them, and it won’t work for Emmy either, a sub-Aqua vocal delivery preventing the sadness and optimism of the first dog in space narrative from shining through.LATVIA
A chant for happiness, and this disarming entry from a decade-long established folk/world act has indeed made me happy. Comparisons with Enya and (in particular) Adiemus on account of the interweaving vocals are facile. Rather, this is just a few more clanks and pulses away from being the sort of accompaniment the late Mark Bell might have created for Björk at one time. “Out-take from Homogenic” is a far richer compliment than I could give to many tracks in this or any year’s Contest.ARMENIA
Ten writers. Ten. Writers. Which one of you geniuses is going to own up to “I’m a survivor, stay aliver”, then? The stompiness of Iceland, the vaguely Game of Thrones cosplay of Norway, and an English accent like nothing heard on the planet since the episode of Castle with an American trying to do Geordie. Inexpertly executed, and not the winner.AUSTRIA
The description I read of Johannes’s countertenor voice before listening to this track briefly gave me hope of some New Wave-cum-Baroque amalgam recalling the doomed majesty of that much-missed, should-have-been star Klaus Nomi. No such luck. As an extended demonstration of his technical prowess, it certainly does its job. That’s effectively all it does, however, the bolting on of a thoroughly incongruous techno section from three-quarters distance almost a tacit admission of the absence of an actual song.UNITED KINGDOM
The first few bars in, I thought my biggest beef was going to be the oh-my-God-I-was-like vacuity of certain lines. A few more in, the problem became not being able to remember what preceded the first of the numerous tempo and stylistic handbrake turns. Nemo proved in Eurovision last year what those of us who number among Cardiacs devotees have known for decades – restless, done well, is a thing of joy. What The Hell Just Happened? is restless done less well, the various stitched-together parts not incompatible but rather just not persistently interesting or rewarding enough. Here’s hoping those parts all survive Remember Monday’s weaning off of the Autotune come competition time, too. At least the trio’s big-eyed joie de vivre redolent of early Spice Girls and (assuming it’s retained from the promo video) updated Bridgerton cosplay have a degree of appeal.GREECE
As a bespectacled Greek, lazy comparisons of Klavdia with Nana Mouskouri (a Eurovision contestant herself in 1963, remember) will inevitably abound. She warrants better than that, and whilst easier to admire than fall in love with, this relatively traditional Mediterranean string ballad comprising a dialogue between refugee parent and child ought not have to rely on neighbour votes alone.LITHUANIA
The point at which we discover whether Eurovision juries and/or voters are ready yet for something in thrall to the likes of early Radiohead. Kudos to broadcasters LRT for enabling something like this to be considered; ditto Katarsis for making no concessions to the Contest musically or lyrically – Tavo akys is a genuinely representative work. Whether it catches light is another matter.MALTA
Also known as The One That The British Made Them Change, the pun on a word for a self-confident person in queer and drag culture apparently too much for the BBC and Ofcom to stomach. And heaven knows Miriana presents as self-confident here; the architect, controller and arbiter of her own naughty fun and as at ease with her plus size as anyone I’ve seen grace a stage since Beth Ditto. A more restless affair musically than Finland’s more pounding effort, whilst serving a not dissimilar purpose, it’s nevertheless part of a greater whole sufficiently appealing to have one believe it would have gone deep into the contest even without the controversy.GEORGIA
There’s musical ambition here – a restless early section in tricky ten-eight time and the generous helping of Bond Theme orchestration say as much. There’s also, however, too much of a breadcrumb trail back to Mariam Shengelia’s apparent historic endorsements of the ruling Georgian Dream party, incompatible with the LGBTQ+ inclusivity of this of all events. As Croatia’s 2006 Homophobe of the Year (q.v. gay.hr) turned 2017 Eurovision contestant Jacques Houdek will attest to, not all stains are easily rinsed off.FRANCE
The second song in Louane’s recorded and published canon named Maman, and meant as a sequel to the first from 2015, updated to reflect her present-day status as the mother rather than the mothered. The sudden deletion of Maman #1 from all streaming platforms has garnered more interest than its creator likely intended, Louane’s insistence that a song recognised as a comfort to many had now served its purpose appearing both rather solipsistic and occurring concurrently with the levying of sexual assault charges against one of its cowriters. Knowing all of this does make the track that bit less likeable. Not knowing all of this still doesn’t make it an absolute delight, either, the overcooked vocal neither ballad fish nor chanson flesh.DENMARK
One of the more unadorned tracks of its type this time round; no sleight of hand, unexpected drops, jarring inserts of time or style change, just an honest to goodness EDM floorfiller from a Faroese mum of two having the time of her life. That comes as a bit of light relief to me, but I fear the broader voting quorum may not view that quality so positively.CZECHIA
Adonxs – a Slovakian performer made in London, earning his stripes academically at BIMM and musically in a multicultural baroque-pop quartet. A singer, an activist, a dancer, and a trailblazing winner of Idols in a country hitherto broadly resistant to anointing gay winners of such competitions. A nerveless performer of Kiss Kiss Goodbye, an arms-length, cool rebuttal of an absentee father, a track mining his more symphonic side. A potential breakout star from this year’s Contest if navigating the semis successfully.LUXEMBOURG
There’s a line of thought in popular music that it’s better to be a decade or more out of date than, say, between two and five. The Kiss Kiss ripoff of Luxembourg’s belated return to the Contest last year wasn’t able to prove that, largely through being no better executed than any of the other legion of Kiss Kiss ripoffs this century, but setting the clock back even further this time has begotten something quite lovely. Almost exactly sixty years since France Gall’s Poupée de cire, poupée de son netted the county its second Contest victory, here is La poupée monte le son, an answer back of a song in which the doll gets to tell the boy to naff off and run back to mum. Less “yé-yé”, and more “n’y pense même pas” (pardon my Google French), then. I’m not sure why Laura Thorn’s backing is more 80s than 60s, but it’s a much more faithful 80s-era Eurovision musical facsimile than most, to the point you’d half expect the lights to pan over at any stage to three shimmying backing singers with massive shoulder pads.******
ISRAEL
There’s a certain irony that Switzerland, the cradle of inter-national neutrality, finds itself having to ride the waves caused by one of the most politically divisive entries in the Contest’s history.If the ongoing attacks on Gaza haven’t warranted Israel a ban from Eurovision before now, one assumes on the technicality of Palestine not being universally recognised across the UN as a sovereign state, then those more recent campaigns against Iran and Syria (both of whom are) must be getting close to stretching the European Broadcasting Union’s avowed apolitical stance beyond tolerance.
The backdrop of conflict has already proven too much for the four present-day delegations and seventy former contestants calling for Israel to join Russia on the banned list; and what it would be to eavesdrop on any proceeding meetings between the EBU and Swiss Broadcasting Corporation as regards security at the Contest in general and for Yuval Raphael in particular. One alleged spitting and mimed throat-cutting incident during the pre-Contest meets and greets will only have served to remind the hosts of the enormity of their task.
Not that a spit, nor the anticipated boos in the auditorium come the second semi, are said likely to faze a performer who has irrefutably suffered far worse than that. In fairness to her, Yuval has continued to stick to the pledge not to discuss her narrow escape from death in the Nova Music Festival attack, though one could argue less charitably that there is no need for her to discuss that attack for it to remain part of the narrative in Basel this week, so indivisible is she from it.
A product of a conflict where the optics of the media has been of paramount importance to both sides in the battle to win over hearts and minds outside of Israel and Palestine, Yuval’s victory in the national selection process can be promoted by the Israeli Public Broadcasting Corporation as a fair and square triumph against 20 rivals over an eleven-week competition, or else spun by the IPBC’s opponents as the cynical, emotionally manipulative reality show backstory to end them all. Whatever the truth of it, expect to see and hear both views aired more before the competition’s end.
Expect also to see and hear further complaints that the choice of song for Yuval was a preordained, deliberately provocative act, a standpoint which overlooks two important points. First, that New Day Will Rise was but one from a longlist of 54 possibles. And second, at least in the form in which it will be performed at the Contest, that it’s simply too hackneyed and everyman to feel pertinent solely to those grieving at home. Think a slightly more florid, less emotionally economical take on REM’s Everybody Hurts, one which goes through all of the Reality Show Big Ballad gear changes in volume, key and orchestration at exactly the points you’d expect it to. More predictable than belligerent, ultimately.
Six paragraphs, and only one about the actual song. I don’t actually want to have to do that in these reviews very often.
******
GERMANY
Who could possibly have predicted a dramatic upturn in the quality of the German entry this year? Well, actually me, having called for the return to the fray of Stefan Raab for the thick end of a decade. You’re welcome. A man whose six previous Eurovisions between 1998 and 2010 as either writer, performer or selector of the German entry netted a win and five other top ten finishes, Raab’s keen eyes and ears alighted upon this whip-smart kiss-off among those tracks posted on Abor & Tynna’s Instagram presence. A chorus with the feel of Rihanna’s Rude Boy gone rave adds to the appeal, but the rather half-arsed attempt at smashing a cello in the national final performance probably ought to remain there.SERBIA
I’m sure that me and The Artist Formerly Known as Prince of Vranje would get on fine on a professional level, with him being a philologist and me a linguist and librarian and that. On a musical level, not so much, Mila offering up the male vocal variant of the overwrought central European ballad (c.f. Montenegro). The temptation to sing some of my parody track over the top of it (“Sava / please take off your balaclava / your golden hair frames your face / like a frame made of golden hair”, etc.) is plenty hard to resist, I’ll admit. Nice starry backdrop an’ all in the national final, but starry backdrops alone do not a winner make.FINLAND
Read up on Erika’s status as Finland’s self-styled “inappropriate woman and queen of trashy disco”, and suddenly little about Ich komme surprises so much. We could have been here five years earlier, in truth, but for the national jury’s enthusiasm for her 2020 paean to Hungarian porn star Cicciolina (yes, PWEI fans, that one) not mirroring that of the voting public, before COVID rendered their decision academic anyway. There’s a full-blooded four-year relationship with a singer five decades her senior to factor in, too. A Eurovision entry (behave) that sticks to character, then, but it’s no more stale for that – quite the opposite. The thudding techno cousin of Cha Cha Cha’s party metal, Ich komme comes across like 2 Unlimited on amphetamines, sharing the battering ram insistence and huge chant-a-longa scope of Käärijä’s 2023 runner-up. Resistance, one suspects, is futile, and good luck to whichever newsreaders have to announce its victory on air with a straight face.gc
Jeremy Grayson. Son of immigrant. Adoptive father of two. Metadata librarian. Freelance point-to-point / horse racing writer, analyst and commentator wonk. Loves music, buses, cats, the BBC Micro, ale. Advocate of CBT, PACE and therapeutic parenting. Aspergers.
Great stuff gc!
Switzerland was the standout for me from semifinal 1. I don’t favour ballads usually, but it’s a nice song and the simple staging provided a welcome change of pace from the onslaught of beats and strobe lights. I’d be hopeful it will do well on Saturday.
Agree with moehat about liking Albania too.
Ireland. Damn them for reminding me about poor Laika who I still mourn for after all these years. She’s not partying about in space Ireland. She’s DEAD! I like Aremenia ( sorry gc). The more songs I listen to the more I wonder how we can get it so badly wrong year after year. Apart from when we did get it right and there was no way that Ukraine weren’t going to win.
“the thought suddenly occurs to me whether this track is a tribute to Henry Kelly?”
That actually had me laughing out loud.
Top stuff, gc. Thank you very much.
I like Lithuania. Glad I’ve got gc’s schedule to refer back to as they don’t seem to mention the country after the performance.
Thought the UK performance was good tonight. They can sing well live, which puts it ahead of some of our recent entries. Still don’t like the song much though.
From reading the rules on voting, it appears it is permissible to vote 20 times from one phone number.
I realise half the votes come from National Juries but how can there be any confidence in the integrity of the public vote?
I wouldn’t be shocked were there some element of weighting, with that possibility in mind. Multiple downloads are already counted as one “sale” in compiling the entity formerly known as the hit parade, after all, so I’m assuming similar could apply here. We’re not going to know whether it does or not anyway.
There are a few tracks for whom twenty votes from a handful of devoted advocates isn’t going to be nearly enough. Twenty times nil points is still nil points.
gc
Jeremy Grayson. Son of immigrant. Adoptive father of two. Metadata librarian. Freelance point-to-point / horse racing writer, analyst and commentator wonk. Loves music, buses, cats, the BBC Micro, ale. Advocate of CBT, PACE and therapeutic parenting. Aspergers.
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