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Following the devastating results emanating from the basement in Hughesey’s Half-Time Forum Manifesto, Chezza has decided a campaign manager is required and has appointed Col Archaius Tory to the role.
The good Colonel is coming out of retirement to take on the task of securing a nomination for Chezza for 2023 TRF Forumite Of The Year and has always taken a keen interest in politics.
A few Colonel factoids….
– The Colonel feels the country took a distinct downward turn when man traps were declared illegal and slavery was abolished.
– The Colonel is indeed an advocate of solving what he sees as the current immigration crisis by lining Britain’s beaches with man traps, giving anyone caught in one a damned good thrashing then pushing them back into the sea.
– The Colonel also feels man traps strategically placed under the rails are the ideal cost-effective solution to dealing with Animal Rising protestors at Britain’s racecourses.
– In between campaigning to have man traps re-legalised, the Colonel devotes time to his secret Man Trap Factory project in Little Dunny-On-The-Wold.
– The Colonel feels the best way to tackle inflation is to reverse the abolition of slavery. Slavery equals 100% pay cuts and is a policy guaranteed to get consumer demand pull-led inflation down. In the Colonel’s view, Britain was a far better country when people, far from desperately wanting to enter Britain, were enslaved and dragged here against their will.
– The Colonel was expelled from both Britain First and UKIP for being too right wing, the Colonel considers Paul Golding to be a socialist and Nigel Farage a Marxist.
The Colonel will be masterminding a campaign with the following triple objectives: 1. Get Chezza nominated. 2. Get Chezza elected. 3. Post election have all of Chezza’s electoral rivals SHOT.
Finally, the Colonel’s historical heroes are Genghis Khan, Attila The Hun and General Melchett out of Blackadder Goes Forth and the Colonel, who has a Colonial background, likes his women like he likes his coffee, black and with a couple of hob nobs.
The campaign starts here – to the hustings!
I am "The Horse Racing Punter" on Facebook
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It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"“the Colonel’s historical heroes are Genghis Khan, Attila The Hun”
Bloody foreigners? 😳
The Colonel, like many of his ilk, is a gentleman of legion paradoxes.
I am "The Horse Racing Punter" on Facebook
https://mobile.twitter.com/Ian_Davies_
https://www.facebook.com/ThePointtoPointNHandFlatracingpunter/
It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"The Colonel seems a hard but fair chap
good luck to him, he’ll need itCharles Darwin to conquer the World
The Colonel, unlike Chezza, doesn’t hate Hughesey.
But the Colonel has a job to do, namely to get Chezza nominated, voted the winner, then arrange for all the other nominations to be systematically shot, no doubt including Hughesey.
It’s not personal, it’s strictly business.
That said, the Colonel does enjoy his business.
I am "The Horse Racing Punter" on Facebook
https://mobile.twitter.com/Ian_Davies_
https://www.facebook.com/ThePointtoPointNHandFlatracingpunter/
It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"Morning!
Tory here!
Col (retired) Archaius Tory, to be precise!
Back in June, I accepted the role of campaign manager for Chezza.
Deucedly odd cove, tbh, never stops talking about himself, but money is money and the old army pension isn’t what it was.
Looks like I’ve got to actually earn me corn now so, look here, just vote for the blighter, will you, then we might get some peace and quiet over Crimbo and into the New Year.
Toodle pip!
PS: Man traps can save Britain – lobby your local MP to relegalise them today!
I am "The Horse Racing Punter" on Facebook
https://mobile.twitter.com/Ian_Davies_
https://www.facebook.com/ThePointtoPointNHandFlatracingpunter/
It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"Chezza should have asked the great gamble to mastermind the campaign from the get go.
I am "The Horse Racing Punter" on Facebook
https://mobile.twitter.com/Ian_Davies_
https://www.facebook.com/ThePointtoPointNHandFlatracingpunter/
It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"Many congratulations to Alan – a thoroughly-deserved, and overdue, victory.
I am "The Horse Racing Punter" on Facebook
https://mobile.twitter.com/Ian_Davies_
https://www.facebook.com/ThePointtoPointNHandFlatracingpunter/
It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"Nurse!
Chezza’s not well.I've stumbled on the side of twelve misty mountains
I've walked and I crawled on six crooked highwaysWell worth reprising –
I am "The Horse Racing Punter" on Facebook
https://mobile.twitter.com/Ian_Davies_
https://www.facebook.com/ThePointtoPointNHandFlatracingpunter/
It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"
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