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While Putin reels
from the kinky after effects
of Partygate
with a Boris hell bent
on diverting
and winning favour
by punishing
Russia with hardware
and clever ware
a hundred mill here
a hundred mill there
to exhume
the stench of
the half eaten
sausage rolls,
Sunak’s wife is
losing no sleep
and playing
it pretty and clever.
She won’t ditch
her non-dom £2 mill
a year tax benefits
just yet in the forlorn
hope to rescue hubby on
£75k a year but with
a 5% chance of leading
a country that once ruled
an empire. No – while her
No 11 furniture has moved into
more luxurious homely
surroundings she waits
like a wounded jackal in the
wings patiently,
and HMRC also waits
not holding it’s foul breath
and expecting nothing of
the scorned unlucky woman
bar a wish and a promise –
no signature just yet.
She has agreed, she has
made a commitment and
April the 6th 2023 is a
long year away
and declaration
day – a lifetime –
the end of next year.– she has time –
no-one but a revived
deep red throat
on seriously strong lozenges
no fishermen’s friends
but a tobasco double
would dare again
challenge the efficacy of her status –
and its her word against his
and throat’s in hiding
from the Sun
and the seriosos
and the politicos
and the scandal mongers
and it’s conveniently
Easter recess and no
time to give 2 mill to
the war effort – no not
at all, time rather to
relax and turn off
the Peleton, sit him down
and weigh up the public mood
and the probabilities.
Play a game of snap
with green cards
everyone wins
IT’S GREEN
reformulate the grand
scheme the plan
Get the knitting out
and follow the pattern
of a sock
with a hole
in it.The furniture probably knows !
Was it left or
was it right
Put us in this
awful plight
or was it
Mr.Big Big Big
dropping bombs
from the wire
that night ?Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, and Downing street is a bit
whiffy too
Very little news to report recently. The weather has been quite nice and it has been nice to get out – whether that is to buy a tin of something or a packet of biscuits is optional. The world seems to be taking a breath and the bees are about.
I had a bit of personal news. It’s not a headline but if it were I would call itA BILLY SMART’S BREAKFAST
I make toast most mornings and I don’t eat the stuff so that in itself is a bit odd but this morning there were three pieces of brown left in the packet, cut in halves with their crusts removed – all strange and unusual. The six slices of bread looked slightly forlorn, and might have been the art work of a bored or selective mouse or a human agent.
I made the tea and popped the half slice of naked toast into the toaster. The toast always pops out to the left ,after about 40 seconds, and lays flat on the work surface. Now,because the dial doesn’t work properly I pop it back in,and it would burn if I left it or forgot about it, but by the time I have heated the cup and poured the tea I manually release the toast with the release button and it’s done to a tea, and it will pop out again and lie on the granite plastic work surface. That’s on a normal day but today WOW
The toast popped out and I couldn’t find it and almost scratched my head in bewilderment. Well, I checked the floor, then finally checked the toaster, and what had happened is – it had jumped out, possibly done a flip, and then hidden itself in the second compartment of the toaster. In some amazement, I put it back in and poured the tea – and actually forgot to release it, I was possibly unsettled. I then went to the toaster and pressed the release button.
WOW – the half slice of toast which was a little too browned off, jumped up about five inches, moving slightly to the right in the air and then disappeared into the right hand burner compartment. Much like a trapeze artist and it had done it twice to a private audience of one.
Small things….
An afterthought… I’ve never seen a mouse, but if there was one, and it had been at work, and it had specially cut the slices in half and nibbled of all the sides …maybe…just maybe.. it was curiously watching the grainy trapeze artist from a secret hidden vantage point and having a bit of a chuckle to itself.
Did you tell Esther Rantzen?
I've stumbled on the side of twelve misty mountains
I've walked and I crawled on six crooked highwaysHi Purwell, and Good Morning, I have only told you.
( I have edited ‘good morning’ to capitals G and M. It’s a nicer more effective greeting than …morning bro )
BREAKING NEWS
…there was no mouse. A full enquiry revealed a human agent was involved in the bread reduction, with the crust edges having been cut to remove mould an no mouse agent was at play. The enquiry did not establish the colour of the mould but bread usually brings out the blue variety. I often scrape it off. Also the scientific team sorted out the mystery of the jumping bread and RIGHT (facing) movement to allow touchdown contra the norm, in the right hand non used burner compartment. All down to reduced weight of toast with crust edges removed, so the boffins conclude, changing usual upward and sideways trajectory to the LEFT instead to the RIGHT. The scientific report stated that the bread lept four inches in the air ( due to faulty timer mechanism ) drifting an inch to the right. There was no somersault or double somersault. The toast couldn’t put on a trapeze type show but the report stated it to be an unusual and spectacular feat and a break from their boring Sage and onion work on the virus.
….I would like readers to take a deep breath and contemplate what is the single item in their kitchen they value the most and would least like to lose.
I have done this mental exercise and come up with THE FOLLOWING LIST.
THE LIST
1…small 4 and a half inch knife with wooden handle and two brass studs. It’s not a chefs knife and a good one can cost £100 – no it’s a clever little b*stsrd that can peel potatoes cut up veg beautifully. It’s a friend and is the only wooden knife in the small knifes and forks drawer. Amazingly I found ‘made in Japan’ inscribed and that surprised me.
2. A stainless steel popato peeler – this is 5.5 inches long and has an inch wide cutter with a flexible swivel head. It’s good for peeling potatoes and carrots and slicing long slithers from a carrot for salads. It’s invaluable and kept in the big utensils draw. Be careful it could remove flesh but a high number 2 in THE LIST and difficult to procure in the shops. It has a ring on the end for hanging – but it’s put away cosily and safely in the drawer after it’s done its job and to recover from any metal fatigue, and it will sleep.
Dame Esther Rantzen Agent and Management Contact Details @(thesilverlineuk)
Direct Tel: 0207 3.
Direct Email: jacki.
Company Tel: 020 73.
https://www.thehandbook.com ›Dear Dame Esther
Would you care for commercial involvement.
THE FACTS
There’s possibly a prying mouse in my kitchen with
little laughing eyes
hidden in some crevice.
The toast leaps and does
a few tricks.
The ghost of Terry Thomas
comes for breakfast.
Sage have found merriment there
It’s right up your street!
Biden bemoans Brexit
Oh dear what have we done ?
If only JimJTS could put the
clock back a few years.
We now have few friends in the modern make your own news world, just this expensive girlfriend called Sovereignty who hates spending time with us on a poor isolated island that apparently still rules the waves.Brexit is quietly telling me not to go out.
But it’s alright, I’m happy enough indoors and I didn’t really want to go out anyway.
Too many people.
I am "The Horse Racing Punter" on Facebook
https://mobile.twitter.com/Ian_Davies_
https://www.facebook.com/ThePointtoPointNHandFlatracingpunter/
It's the "Millwall FC" of Point broadcasts: "No One Likes Us - We Don't Care"He can get back
but 80 is a mere youngster
for a hologram
No Hey Judie tonight
but he wouldn’t dance with
another.
He loved John
What’s not to like ?
You’re heart goes BOOMOTHER WORLD NEWS
Street fighting has broken out in the middle of downtown Paris. Petula Clark fans are beating the **** out of the singing Nun fans. Macron has issued a statement.
” The singing Nun died at 52 – give her a break !”Personal news.
On my walk after dinner yesterday I passed the regular 29 restaurants but saw a man surreptitiously inspecting inside a rubbish bin. He was looking for unused tobacco in fag ends. I stopped walking and looked in the bin. It looked like a black hole and it made me think – the world has gone mad – the hobbo and I found zilch in the bin. The effort and degradation of looking in had destabilized my reason.You’ll never see McCartney
at Glasto again
Revel in it
and LIVE AND LET DIE
Doo doo Doo Doo doo
Doo doo
She loves YATotally wrong
Hey Jude comes alive
…that is a hard song
BRAVE PAUL
and he’s carrying it well
on his shoulder
NA NA NA
Let it out and let it in
McCartney still rocks
YEAH
NA na na na
Hey Jude
Take a sad song….
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