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How to survive Yarmouth’s 3-day Festival –

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  • #2999
    Mounty
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    • Total Posts 455

    If you’re thinking of visiting Yarmouth for the Eastern Festival (12-14 September) – it used to be called the summer festival until someone sued them under the trade descriptions act when one day was lost through waterlogging a few years ago – here are a few handy hints…

    1) Where to stay

    Norwich. On no account stay in Yarmouth.

    2) If the advice issued in point 1 has arrived too late you will probably find yourself on the top floor of a 70s style  (1870s) seaside hotel with no lift.

    3) Entertainment.

    It’s not Vegas, or Blackpool, or even Maplethorpe come to think about it but the draw of the bright lights will get you. Most bookmakers congregate in the Wetherspoons pub, especially if all six favourites have obliged (not uncommon). The more adventurous head for the Karaoke bar at the end of the pier (behind the empty theatre in which Rik Waller or Les Dennis will be playing). This will contain eight people including two bouncers (to keep people in), two bar staff, the Karaoke bloke, a 15-year-old Mum with toddler in pushchair, and you.

    If it’s not raining (unlikely) you can watch the locals throwing themselves off the pier.

    4) The next morning after feasting on a fine cooked breakfast  (I can recommend the mushrooms in  the Hazelhurst – the ones growing on the bathroom carpets) you may have a few hours to kill. Angels will be closed so head for Louis Toussaud’s House of Wax. Madame Toussaud clearly had an illegitimate child who was packed off to Yarmouth with £50 in his pocket to open his own version. Last year they had posters advertising their Mr Blobby waxwork. Correct me if I’m wrong but surely the point of waxworks is to create lifelike replicas of famous people not twats in pink suits?

    5) Pray for rain/waterlogging/abandonment – it worked once.

    6) Enjoy. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

    See you there.<br>

    #76856
    insomniac
    Participant
    • Total Posts 1453

    Smashing Mounty. Your disenchantment with the place shines through every sentence. :biggrin:

    #76857
    apracing
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    • Total Posts 3778

    <br>I’ve got Salute entered at Yarmouth on Thursday.

    I’ve just decided he’ll run at Warwick on Saturday instead!

    AP

    #76858
    Avatar photonon vintage
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    • Total Posts 1268

    priceless!

    :biggrin:

    #76859
    Avatar photograysonscolumn
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    • Total Posts 6966

    I spent a fortnight in Yarmouth one afternoon.

    gc<br>

    Adoptive father of two. The patron saint of lower-grade fare. A gently critical friend of point-to-pointing. Kindness is a political act.

    #76860
    Avatar photograysonscolumn
    Participant
    • Total Posts 6966

    Quote: from Mounty on 8:00 pm on Sep. 11, 2006[br]<br>5) Pray for rain/waterlogging/abandonment – it worked once.<br>

    <br>All bases covered going and weather-wise judging by the Weatherby’s email I’ve just had;

    Going: GOOD TO FIRM (Watering full course Monday, last 5f before racing Tuesday; watering thereafter if no rain) (Rather cloudy and wet with spells of rain, heavy at times with perhaps the odd rumble of thunder)

    You could be half way to a washout come this time tomorrow!

    gc

    Adoptive father of two. The patron saint of lower-grade fare. A gently critical friend of point-to-pointing. Kindness is a political act.

    #76861
    barry dennis
    Member
    • Total Posts 398

    forced to stay overnight in hotel??? room above amusement arcade on seafront.

    Window permanently jammed 6 inches open directly above hot dog vendor,  housey housey continued to be called at 2am.

    Dangles and his mates played pool downstairs even though somebody was drunk and asleep on table, only used 3 pockets.

    Went to Carlton for breakfast ordered plain omelette(spel check) had 50 green fly omelette, town infested with them, people sitting on beach with muslin face masks.

    do I miss it???????

    <br>bet your bloody life I do

    #76862
    Avatar photobetlarge
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    • Total Posts 2805

    Mounty you miserable git – Cannon & Ball are playing the Pier and it’s the climax of the 61st Bowls Festival.

    Fill yer boots at http://www.great-yarmouth.co.uk/ which has charming pictures of:

    a) The Chuckle Brothers, and<br>b) a donkey

    Mike

    #76863
    Mounty
    Member
    • Total Posts 455

    Survived day two…Yarmouth actually looked pleasant in the sunshine (but then so does downtown Beirut). Louis Toussaud also has Posh & Becks and Michael Owen. I suppose the latter is easy to do – just one big plaster cast.

    #76864
    Avatar photoBurroughhill
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    • Total Posts 1635

    Oh you’re all mean! My mum and dad live just up the coast from Yarmouth, and we’ve been there a few times for a day out. It’s not bad as long as the sun’s shining! There’s the Pleasure Beach, the Sealife Centre, lots of sand to get in your shoes, and chips in a polystyrene tray. My mum used to be assistant head housekeeper at the Carlton when she first left catering college in Norwich. She said it was so cold there sometimes she used to wake up in the morning to find her hot water bottle frozen! <br>Anyway, it’s not too bad. There’s worse……….Morecombe and Skegness spring to mind.

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