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    I always remember the Jack Dee stand-up routine regarding dogs, cats, and how their very nature is polarised in their attitude to you putting up a stack of shelves in the house.

    The dog will be wide-eyed, slobbering, staring inanely, and thinking;<br>"I love you. I don’t know what you’re doing, but I love you. I really do."

    In the same scenario, the cat will be regarding you with barely concealed disdain, thinking to itself;<br>"Call those shelves? Pah. I’m not risking putting my books on those!"

    I love cats as they are infinitely more deep, characterful and sarky than 99.9% of dogs. I’d have said 100%, but my late-lamented Einstein did his bit to besmirch the good name of cats by ramming his head through letterboxes having mistaken them for catflaps, knocking a mirror off a wall to see the other cat hiding behind it, giving himself bronchitis by hoovering up large clumps of dust from under the radiator when hunting for silverfish, and so on.


    The patron saint of lower-grade fare. A gently critical friend of point-to-pointing. Kindness is a political act.

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